Life, Not a Spectator Sport

A Soft Granny

2011-10-05T19:45:00.000-07:00

Today I was on the orange line that runs from San Fernando Valley to Hollywood, and there was this older lady that got on the bus. I was going to get up and give her my seat, but the gentleman next to me offered her his seat. When she started to position her self to sit, the bus moved and she was about to fall forward, so I reached out to catch her to keep her from falling. I proceeded to hold on to her until she was seated. She thanked me and just patted my leg with both hand in gratitude.

At this very moment I was thinking of how soft she felt. She must have been close to 80 yrs old, not that she looked it, because she was going about her way just as we all were on the bus today. Her skin was a little wrinkley, in a pleasing sort of way, and her skin felt like a baby's butt. It was such a comforting thing when I touched her and felt how soft she was. I started to think of it is things like that which makes grandmas so special. Yes we know that is is the cookies they bake, the stories they tell, the way they make bad things go away, but it is also that cushiony smooth touch you get when you put your arms around her, when her face touches your; when her skin touches yours, it is something so comforting and loving in that touch.

A Soulful Reminder

The Black Panther Party-do we need them today?

2011-05-21T12:01:00.000-07:00

I have been reading a great deal about The Black Panther Party lately and it has quite enlightening. This all started with my learning about Assata Shakur who is in exile in Cuba and seeing a documentary on Pete O'Neal , who is in exile in Tanzania, both former party members.

The photo to the left is of the six founding members of the party. That was taken from Wikipedia. {Original six members of the Black Panther Party (November, 1966) Top left to right: Elbert "Big Man" Howard; Huey P. Newton (Defense Minister), Sherman Forte, Bobby Seale (Chairman). Bottom: Reggie Forte and Little Bobby Hutton (Treasurer)}

One of the books I read was, Seize the Time: The Story of the Black Panther Party and Huey P. Newton, by Bobby Seale. I had read many things in the media as I was growing up about the party and the fear that was sparked by the many state governments, as the party started chapters in many states across the country. I am learning that their basic premise was to protect their neighborhoods and its residents from the blatant racism of the time, as well as to start programs that would help us better care for our own. Yes they did come from some of the worst neighborhoods in the various states just like the many doctors, lawyers, and business people that many became so proud of. The were self-educated even though the founders did meet in college. They knew their constitutional rights and were determined to protect them.
There were many organizations in the 1960s that were fighting for civil rights, and the Black Panther Party was no exception, but because they armed themselves, per their constitutional right, they were considered dangerous. They were arming themselves because it was mostly policemen that brutalized many in the neighborhoods and the people were tired of falling prey to this abuse.
The FBI created a special task force, COINTELPRO, for what they considered a problem.

The Black Panther Party was not only attacked from outside forces but also from within the organization. There were operatives that went undercover to infiltrate the organization and wreak havoc to divide and destroy the mission, but there were also those that joined the party to have a cover for their criminal activity. Both of these things were successful in accelerating the demise of the party. When the leaders realized that they were being destroyed from the inside, they ceased new membership, but it was already too late. They were being attacked from every direction.

Today the media attacks would not be as successful because of citizen journalism. The truth would hit the airways before the news outlets even got a hold of the story. The sad thing is, that not much has changed in our society in reference to racism. In the 60s it was just against blacks, but now it is against most people of color. So instead of going away, it has just spread o like a fungus. Most people are too busy trying to keep their heads above water or the poverty line until they don't even notice.
There are still large numbers of people of color being incarcerated and often railroaded into taking plea deals. The neighborhoods where people of color are concentrated are still under attack by police brutality and institutionalize racism. The schools in the area are still extremely inferior, rendering hopelessness for those that attend them, breeding crime and the like. The children in these neighborhoods are still sadly aware that they are not deemed worthy of quality education in a safe and clean environment.
So do we need another Black Panther Party? A group that protects and works hard to take care of their own? A group that fights for the rights of its children? Fight for the rights promised to them by the constitution? Or do we just sit back and continue to be brainwashed by the system into believing that one day we too will have the American dream if we just continue to work hard and keep our noses clean. We can now see that this didn't work for our parents who in their later years are still working to keep a roof over their heads way past retirement. What I am advocating here is not accepting the status quo. We can't change the system without first changing ourselves. We know that the rules of the game doesn't apply to people of color, even though a few of them eke by; and as soon as we learn the game they change the rules. We have to force ourselves into that picture. And that starts with self, with home, with our own. We need to help our kids get a better education and that may not start in the schools, but usually within the home, the neighborhood Creating the kind of student that demands better for themselves. The now cliché phrase, 'it takes a village to raise a child', is not new to us. It is something that we have been doing since we were brought to this country, and we need to return to that.

Before I get off on this rant, I would love to know what you think.

Photos taken by llka Harmann shows beautifully the climate of the times.

Charity Benefit in Chicago

2010-09-24T22:12:00.000-07:00

Tonight I attended a fund raising benefit for the Global Alliance for Africa which was held at the Millinnium Knickerbocker Hotel. There was a silent auction of many pieces of art as well as a raffle for two tickets to Africa. My girlfried was saying all night that she was going to win that trip and amazingly enough the winner's ticket was one number away from hers. It was bittersweet for sure.

The benefit was a fund raiser for Global Alliance for Africa. This fundraiser is done every year and consists of a great deal of the volunteers for the alliance. It was great to witness such giving from so many. Most of the people there were from the non-profit sector and it was just a beautiful event.

Adopt and Adapt

2010-09-21T07:24:00.001-07:00

It has been wonderful traveling this month visiting family and friends. Seeing how those you love lives in their everyday lives is quite interesting. Noticing their habits, the traditions they are trying to create and watching carve out a life for themselves is quite interesting. I have always been one to adopt the habits of others that I admire. It was something that I started to do many years ago. You often find people who are jealous of others because of the way that they live, what they have, and how they live their lives. I have always been one to adopt the habits or traditions that I find pleasing and adapt it to my life. Jealousy is such a waste of time and energy. My mother taught me years ago to never desire and definitely not covet what you see in others, because you have no idea what they do or have to go through to maintain. My method has always been to adopt and adapt, and most of all compliment.

My Trip Home

2010-09-20T15:29:00.000-07:00

The first two weeks of September I spent in Georgia visiting family and friends. I was not aware of how much I have missed everyone back home. I have been living in Los Angeles for just about five years without those close connections. Yes I have been back to Georgia a few times but only for a few days at a time. So I stay connected to everyone via cell phone and internet. I am sure that is not surprising to anyone. However convenient modern day technology is, it is no substitute for socializing with those you love and those who love you.

I was also fortunate enough to reconnect with some old friends that I have not spent anytime with in 25+ years and that was great. In every situation it appeared as though all of those years were a blur because we just picked up where we left off. A couple of them I didn't have a real relationship with at all, but we went to school together and traveled in the same circle of friends, so in that case we were able to discover each other and enjoy each other.

My time in Georgia also allowed me to meet some new relatives that I discovered through my genealogy research, predominantly with the use of ancestry.com. That was especially powerful, because we discovered how much we have in common and in a few cases how similar our personalities are. It continues to prove how strong genetics can be.

This trip was tremendously enlightening and encouraging as well as soothing to my spirit.

Two major events took place while I was in Savannah. One was the Labor Day Cookout given by my cousins Ella and Delores who are sisters.Delores Thompson Blige

Ella Thompson Brown

This is an event that takes place every year and the family comes from all over the US to attend. I think this time I was the one that traveled the furthest, coming from California, and their brother Marvin and his family coming from Denver. It was great to see them all.

The second major even in the order of which they happened was my parents surprise 5oth Anniversary Dinner. It was much smaller than I would have liked but it was nice just the same, and they didn't expect it.

This was an intimate dinner of 20 people held at the The Pink House in downtown Savannah.
There were pleasantly surprised, my mother started to cry and my father was smiling from ear to ear. It was great to be able to do something for the two people that have given me so very much in my love. I love them dearly and I wish them many more years together.

What is his story? What was his position in life 20 yrs ago?

2010-08-17T16:45:00.000-07:00

I often ask myself these questions when I see people like this gentlemen. He obviously has a story and something to say. What is it? Have anyone of us ever stopped to ask? I want to ask at times, but am afraid of what I going to hear. I am afraid that I am going to hear how he was once, what we would consider, a productive citizen and fell on bad luck, because of mental illness, physical illness, or merely lost of income, and even worst, lost of hope.
Then there is another fear and that is that he would be angry and say or do something to me that would hurt my feelings or worst hurt my person. I do know that the latter is not what I would usually get, and it is not the greatest fear.
We don't want to ask because we don't want to care, so as not to feel even more helpless in this massive problem than we feel already. So at most we give them money, feed them, talk to them for awhile, or just give them a smile and go on with our lives.
I know I often feel very bad when faced with these situations because I know that I am not but a heart beat away from being in his shoes. All of these fears are ways we justify doing nothing, and I must admit that I am included in this bunch. I wish that I was not but I am. How do I move away from the excuses and move toward some sort of action.

As I was sitting outside of California Pizza Kitchen eating with my daughter, this gentleman passed by our outside table and looked right at me, that is when I noticed that his left eye was cloudy, but he was looking right at me. I smiled at him and said hello, and he greeted me in such respectful and warm way. At that moment my thoughts of pity turned into respect. Respect for him as a man, as my brother, that has endured something heavy in his life. What could that be?

This reminds me of my most recent visit to Wal-Mart a few days later and the cashier was a mature gentleman. The total of my bill was $19.68, and without any real thought, I blurted out, "that was a good year", like I would know, because I was only seven years old. The cashier said "not for me", and I asked him why not, and he said, "I was in Vietnam." I immediately felt terrible for making the comment, but I came back with, "Thank God that you lived to tell about it." He may not feel that way either, because I have no idea what he has suffered and may still suffer from being in that war. This may not have effected me as much before, but now that I am living through the times of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and am mature enough to understand the pain and politics involved, I see things a bit different.

When I had this short exchange with the Wal-Mart cashier, the gentleman in the above photos came to mind, because I don't know his story and I do know that there are a great deal of Vietnam veterans living on the streets here in Los Angeles.

How do you feel when you are faced with the same things? What do you do? What would you like to do?

Todays Nightmare - at the Dentist

2010-08-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

Today was a pretty tough one after spending five hours at the dentist office.I was so ready to run out of there. I have never liked going to the dentist. For me it is almost as invasive as my gynecologist. I guess with the latter, I have come to expect it and am use to it, and it is usually pretty quick. However, when someone is in your head sticking and poking and prodding for five hours, you are ready for them to get the hell out. I don’t know anyone that likes the dentist, but I like it even less than most. I always associate a dentist with a construction worker. These days they do pretty much the same thing. Often times they build foundations to put a crown or a bridge or even an implant. Then they sit back and admire their work. They say things like, “that is a beautiful crown, it’s porcelain”, even before it is in your mouth.

They use a great deal of tools for pushing things in the gums, in the teeth, around the teeth and for clean-up during and after their construction. Not too mention, they often times use a great deal of pressure to make things stay in place. We will not even talk about the DRILLING. Like I say, very much like a construction worker. One of the differences may be that a construction worker often times have a larger space, or parcel, to start his construction, when the dentist has a whole in the front of your face to go through, frequewntly forgetting that there are lips in front of those teeth. After they finish rubbing every instrument and cleaning device over them, you want to forget that the lips are there too. Sort of like building a small city in a gourd. It takes patience, precision, and if you are lucky, a gentle hand.

Santa Monica Mall

2010-08-08T08:23:00.000-07:00

The Santa Monica Mall is now re-opened after closing for reconstruction two years ago. Of course I was anxious to see it and I did just that. It was impressively designed, but I still think the Promenade is my favorite. This new mall is three stories high and is an open air design. The concern I have with that is the fact that it gets pretty cool out there as it was yesterday after five, and what happens when it rains?
However it is beautiful. My favorite store is going to be there, Nordstrom, but it was not opened as of yesterday.

I love shopping in Santa Monica and now there is somewhere else to go.

Westward Migration

2010-06-13T19:00:00.000-07:00

Finally I worked my way to the Autry Museum and it was well worth it. I have been fascinated with the natural landscape of California every since I arrived here.

This exhibit shows the importance of the contribution of women in the development of the west along with many African Americans.

There was something that I read in the museum's brochure about a female doctor named Justina Ford.
Dr. Justina Laurena Warren Ford was the first African American female doctor in Colorado, and was still the only female African American doctor there when she died in 1952. She demonstrates perseverance and dedication to her dream as many pioneers have and did not let the obvious roadblock deter her. Her home in Denver has been moved from its original location, and is now the home of the Black American West Museum.

I was quite surprised in the number of African American Cowboys there were in this migration west, now realizing that one-third of the cowboys were black. They had established all black townships, and owned a great deal of prime real estate. Information that is not in our history text books. It make me angry that so much of our history is omitted as though it is not American History.
There is also a beautiful exhibit throughout of the American Indian and their contribution to the westward migration of the cowboy.

There are more photos of the exhibits here.

Realizing Memorial Day

2010-05-30T11:59:00.000-07:00

Deciding to go out to Santa Monica Beach is always something I want to do, but this being a holiday weekend I wanted to go take in the sun and sights before the holiday crowd came on Sunday and Monday.

I discovered that the older I get the less I like large crowds. Well I was not able to avoid the crowd, but I knew that it would be worst the more we got into this holiday weekend.

After parking in the first parking lot right on the beach, we decided to walk back toward the Santa Monica Pier. It was a nice breeze on the beach and there were people everywhere. As we started to walk along the pier trying to decide where we will eat, we noticed a memorial down below, actually on the beach. It was at that moment when the real meaning and purpose of this holiday hit home for me.

The white crosses were for those lost in the war in Iraq, and the red crosses were for those lost in Afghanistan.

We decided to go down and take a closer look and there were names and pictures as well as an area where you could write what every you wanted in memory of our fallen troops. When I read the names and looked at the faces and read what had already been written there, I started to feel that pull at my heart and became a bit emotional. I found that there were many others there having the same experience.

This was actually the first time that I got it. I was living through this war, that we often try not to think about, because it is actually occurring on foreign soil. At first I was sad that so many lives were lost and so many families forever affected by it, and then I started to feel a sense of pride and gratitude. That is what I left with.

I was also grateful that whoever decided to put the memorial there did so. It reminded those that were on the beach to have fun in the sun,
why they really are able to celebrate this
day with such freedom.

These are the names and it goes on and on. It makes these people more than just a casualty, it makes them human. Somebody's son, daughter, husband, wife, mother, father, or friend. It made you feel the sacrifice of so many people.

Memorial Day was originally called Decoration Day, when many women would decorate the grave sites of fallen soldiers. After the Civil War, there were said to be celebrations all over the country to mark the end of the war and to memorialize those that died.

A history professor from Yale University believes that the first observance of memorial day was in Charleston, South Carolina, where the was a prison camp for captured Union soldiers as well as a mass grave. After the hostilities of the Civil War, in 1865, formerly enslaved people exhumed the bodies from the mass graves and reinterred them into individual graves. They then put a fence around the grounds and called it a union graveyard.This was all finished in about ten days.

It was reported in the Charleston newspaper on May 1, 1865, that a crowd of approximately ten thousand people, predominantly black, gathered at this graveyard where there were sermons, singing, and picnics.

Many years later it was changed to Memorial Day and observed by all 50 states.

Annenberg Space for Photographers

2010-05-28T23:34:00.001-07:00

Today as I paced the floor trying to figure out what I was going to do with this beautiful holiday weekend, I searched the internet for goings on in Los Angeles. Well of course there are always lots of things going on, but I was looking for some kind of festival, a great photo opportunity. I did not come across any festivals, but I was so anxious to get out of the house before all of the holiday traffic and mishaps filled the city.

I decided to go to the Annenberg Space for Photography, a place that I intended to visit for almost two years. I first heard about this place when I became a member of this local photography club, Photographers and Digital Artist of Los Angeles, but never found the time to go. There has been numerous lectures and exhibits that I intended to see, but never made it.

Today I decided that it was time. After mapping my way with Google Maps, I decided that I would catch the bus to avoid parking fees as well as traffic on a Friday after noon before Memorial Day weekend, and I headed out.

Annenberg is located on Avenue of the Stars off of Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood. The main exhibit was a collaboration with National Geographic on the state of fresh water in our world, and it was beautifully done; as is anything with National Geographic. The space is smaller than I expected, however not too small, and beautifully designed.

Being a photographer myself, it was well worth the visit and a place I hope to frequent.

The above photo was taken from http://www.annenbergspaceforphotography.org/

Sam Elliot- Star Sighting

2010-05-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

While hanging out in Malibu, I decided to stop to the How's Market off Trancas Canyon Road to get me bottle of pomegranate juice. This is small How's market and quite conjusted, but also quite adequate. As I am walking down the left side of the store where they keep cold bottled drinks in an open cooler, my friend is walking behind me. As I barrel around this corner I almost bumped into the buggy of a gentleman that was headed my way, I said, "I am sorry excuse me" as pulled his cart more to the right side to keep from bumping me with it. He then said something that sounded like' no problem honey", as I had already passed by, and I immediately turned around, and pointed to him, and my girlfriend said yes that was him. I recognized the voice, more than the face because I didn't look him directly in the face. But it was Sam Elliot.

So I went on and got my pomegranate juice but as I was going back to the register he was headed my way again, so I said hello again, and as we were passing told him that I loved his movies, and he said thanks and blew me a kiss, and a great big smile.

Park at the end of Malibu Canyon Road-What a View

2010-05-24T22:24:00.000-07:00

I was out to a park on near Peppidine University in Malibu and there was this long path that leads down to the water. If you look closely at this picture you can see it going toward the water. My friend told me that I should walk on down there, but I was hesitant. I know where there is water and brush there are usually rattlesnakes or water moccasins. I told her that if the gentleman with the dog went down that trail I would go along or behind them, because I trust the instincts of a dog.

This little lady's name is Sadie.

I started talking to the dogs owner telling him what we were talking about and of course he agreed about the instincts of a dog. His name was Jim and he told me that a couple of weeks ago there was rather large rattlesnake there off to the side of the walkway, and before approaching Sadie started to walk to the opposite side as though she sensed something directly in front of them in their path.

As they got closer he saw the rattlesnake and the dog was walking further and further away.

Jim went on telling me more stories about Sadie, how she was raised by the cats that he and his wife have at home, so often times, she acts like a cat. She gets excited and will chase something as small as a leaf blowing in the wind. She was picking up on the light caused by the sun shining on my camera lens. It appeared as though she wanted to chase that as well.

He told me how Sadie was a really friendly dog but sometimes when he notices that she does not like a person that he may come in contact with, he will just speak and keep going. He has learned to trust her instincts, because often time we ignore our own.

At this point Sadie was just enjoying the cool breeze and the warmth of the sun.

Malibu Canyon Road

2010-05-24T21:02:00.000-07:00

One of the beautiful things about living in California is the incredibly beautiful landscape. It is full of hills, rock formations, valleys and the Pacific Ocean. I enjoying riding on the roads between the mountains and rock always wondering what is up there. Well we know there are quite a few mountain lions and bears in those mountains, that often times wonder into the backyards of those that build their houses in this natural landscape. We are always invading the habitat of wild animals and are afraid when they wonder into our yards. Oh well, we are in their yards.

These are pictures of what it looks like driving on Malibu Canyon Road headed toward the Pacific Ocean. This road ends on Pacific Coast Highway, which runs from Santa Monica to San Francisco. I hear that this ride is long but spectacular. I did take it to Santa Barbara, and then took highway 58 to Solvang, and that highway will take your breath away.

The closer we got to the coast the more green it was. It is not usually so green but we had a great deal of rain this year. I would imagine there will be a great deal of breeding in those hills as well.

Dinghy Sailing at Marina del Rey

2010-05-22T19:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a friend of mine and I decided to ride out to the beach. We first walked along Venice Beach, which is always entertaining and sometimes even a bit scary. We decided to go watch the sail boats and fisherman at Marina del Rey. There are always lots to see out there as well. The last time I was there I came upon a photo shoot which was not going so well. Mostly because it was quite windy as it was yesterday, and those that were helping the photographer did not seem prepared for the amount of wind and sand that they encountered. The model didn't seem that excited about it either. So I just sat back and watched them fumbled through it all as the egotistical photographer became quite annoyed.

However, on this day there were various sailboats in the harbor, then I noticed a small sailboat had capsized.

We were wondering how they were going to be able to get the boat right-side up and continue on, but they did. As we were watching all of this we noticed that there were about four other sail boats of the same small size in the harbor, but this was different from any sailing that I had ever seen. It appeared as though the passengers in the boat often shifted themselves from one side of the vessel to the other. They used their bodies in the turning of the boat and immediately shifted to the other side of the boat after the turn and leaned backwards toward the water over the side.

We then realized that if this was not done with a certain precision the boat would become unsteady and turn over. I was thinking that this was way too much work for any kind of enjoyment, but often times this is so with various sports.

Dinghy Sailing is the name of this sport and it was at times painful to watch. One young couple spent more time in the water than on the boat itself. At one point the coast guard came to help them by pulling the boat to aid in flipping it back to the right side, so this couple could continue on.

Well that they did. It was intriguing to watch but nothing that I would want to do. It looked quite difficult

Changing sides and leaning to keep the boat afloat gives one the impression of the needed dedication and skill.

I had never seen this done before, even though I have seen many sailboats in the past. I have met sailors that sailed in the Atlantic Ocean in Savannah, Ga. as well as in the Gulf while I lived in Tampa, Fl. but I had never seen dinghy sailing.

Legal Scam by the Sprint Corporation

2010-05-19T23:29:00.000-07:00

Today I went to the Sprint store on Van Nuys Blvd. and no I was not a happy camper. I was in there just about a week ago because I have had many problems with my Samsung Instinct. I have the first edition of this phone and because of the same problems they gave me a refurbished phone against my wishes back in September, as though my wishes mattered.

Often times we have no choice in the matter unless we decided to cancel the service and go to another mobile company. I am always hesitant to do that because I don't feel that any of these companies give good customer service. Even with such a tough economy they do less and less for their customers.

When I got the refurbished phone I was told by the manager, who had been there for awhile, that the warranty was the same as a new phone. Last week I was told that the warranty was only 6 months on a refurbished phone. Now you know I am livid at this time, because I was just about two months past the warranty, due to the fact that I had two major surgeries in a four month span and was not able to go back until now, also knowing that I had 12 months worth of warranty. I was eligible for an upgrade but didn't want to spend the money on a new phone because I have been out on disability for almost a year. It just was not a necessary expense. I just wanted a phone that worked the way it was suppose to. I don't think it is too much to ask for one to get what they paid for. Obviously that is in fact too much to ask for.

So today I was forced to upgrade and add another 300 dollars to my bill, because the phone was not working at all. Needless to say again I am not happy.

Of course again they tell me that I have thirty days to see if I like the phone or not, but if I don't like it and decided to bring it back they will give me another new phone. But here is the catch, if I don't get the same model, then I will have to pay a 35 dollar restocking fee. So tell me if for some reason I don't like the phone, then why would I get the same model. Do they really think the consumer is that stupid. I get it, they just don't care, whether we are happy with their product or their service.

I feel the need for the cell phone because I live on the west coast and all of my family including my daughter lives on the east coast. As always a telephone has become a necessity, since I no longer have a home phone.

Now here is another way to screw with the consumer. There is a 100 dollar mail in rebate on the phone, but in the fine print it says that I must write my name as well as the other pertinent information in all capitol letters. Now who normally writes their name in all capital letters.

This is a reason that they will wait four months to return the rebate form telling you that the rebate was not accepted because it did not meet the guidelines provided. Now I say four months because they will wait just enough time for the rebate to have expired before they inform you of this error.

It is so annoying to me to be a slave to this system of capitalism or should I just call it was it is, another way to stick it to the working class. Another way to LEGALLY SCAM the little guy.

What would a company look like that genuinely cares about it's customers and treat them the way they would want to be treated. We probably would not recognize it if we saw it, because we would think it was a SCAM.

Straddling That Threshold

2010-05-15T00:17:00.001-07:00

Why does it take sickness or near death experiences for us to wake up and see what is really important in this life. There are many people that do not wake up even then. I know of a woman that had cancer and even had to have a bone marrow transplant and she didn't change at all. She was still her insecure, jealous, and bitter self. How did she find the time and energy to hold on to that. I know another man that had a bout with prostate cancer and when he finished almost a year of treatment, he went back to his deceptive and greedy ways. Then there are those like myself that just get tired of the status quo and want something that is more meaningful in their lives. I say it is maturity, but others may think it is crazy. My problem is I don't know exactly how to let go of the old life and embrace the new one. So I am straddling the threshold, which is quite miserable. This is the time when I realize I just have to let go and let God. Anyone that has been here knows just how hard that is.

Why Here?

2010-05-15T00:17:00.000-07:00

It always amaze me where we build houses. Anywhere and everywhere. So much of nature is destroyed to build houses and shopping malls and I can't understand why. How many shopping areas do we need?

This is a photograph of a house built on the side of a hill, right off of Ventura Blvd. Many houses here are built high on mountains, hanging off of a hill, or deep in a valley. Most often it just takes away from the natural beauty of the area, because now there will be utility wires needed to supply the newly developed area.

I was talking to a woman on the Metro the other day and she said that she was from northern California but have been in Los Angeles for over 20 years, and she told me how much it has changed. How many of the parks have been destroyed to build more and more subdivisions and shopping centers. I still think that California is one of the most beautiful places that I have ever lived, but it is not too many locals that agree. I will say that the shopping here is more than I have seen anywhere. I often wonder how these stores make it financially year after year, but somehow they do. The recent economy disaster has devastated many, but there is so much more that is withstanding this disaster. I do enjoy the fact that there are so many choices, but it can be quite overwhelming. Loving it just the same.

The Allure of Newsstands.

2010-05-14T23:34:00.000-07:00

One of the first things I fell in love with when I moved to California was the many newsstands that are scattered throughout the city. The first one I encountered was in Hollywood on Cahuenga. It reminded me so much of New York. I am an avid reader of everything and anything that I can get my hands on. There are not any newsstands in my hometown of Savannah, Ga. , at least not any more. There was one in the downtown area, but I don't remember them carrying any of the international magazines. It was located on Drayton Street right off of Broughton Street, but it is long gone now.

The newsstand shown above is in San Fernando Valley on the corner of Van Nuys Blvd. and Ventura Blvd. It is one that I go to quite often even though Borders Books is right down the street in the same block. Often times the newsstand will have the newest magazines before the bookstore. However, I go to both quite often. I order my books from Amazon because I get a better price, even with the coupons offered by Borders, but I love just browsing the shelves and seeing what is new out there.
There is now an electronic newsstand, which is good if you are looking for a particular periodical that you can't find anywhere. Nothing beats going to your neighborhood newsstand, seeing the proprietor often and he knows your name.

When I am in a city and I find newsstands their inventory usually gives me some idea of the diversity of that city. Even more so about the neighborhood of which it is located. At the newsstand above you will find your array of national newspapers and a great deal of latin magazines, as well as a great deal of magazines on Yoga and holistic health. The newsstand on Cahenga in Hollywood on the corner of Hollywood Blvd., you find a large section on film, photography, videography, and international papers in many languages. It is quite interesting. You will be in another area and find a great deal of Russian or Asian newspapers and magazines.
It is amazing what gives you insight to the demographics of an area. These are the things that really draw me to large cities such as Los Angeles and New York. The different ethnic groups and cultures and food that you are able to experience. Often times I feel like a stranger in these neighborhoods and wonder would I feel lonely if I were visiting these cultures abroad.

This Baby was in pain.

2010-05-02T18:14:00.001-07:00

I went to the Los Angeles Equestrian Club yesterday and totally enjoyed myself. I watched a few horse shows taking place outside as well as inside the arena.

I came across this little horse that looked like a wounded puppy. He was in fact hurting in more ways than one. As I approached the pen, he was on the opposite side from me, so I decided to stick my camera lens through the bars to photograph him. I did get the first shot that way, but after that he started to walk toward me, slowly of course and with conscious precision. That is when I discovered that he was barely putting his right foot on the ground, realizing that he was hurt. When he approached me, he put his nose through the bars as a dog would when they want you to pet them. I was a little hesitant at first, because horses will bite you and this was an unfamiliar horse, and he was hurt.

So I started to talk to him and he continued to push his nose through the bars. So I decided to take a chance but putting my hand in further down from his mouth and rubbing his neck. Thinking if he made a quick move toward my hand, I would have time to snatch it back. But he didn't do that and I continued to rubbed and touch him from his neck and finally to his jaw and nose. He just wanted some love because he was in pain. Is that not familiar! I continued to rub him and talk to him and he was really calm. It actually felt good to give him that attention, I wish that I could have spent more time with him . Again he was unfamiliar to me, so I moved on after awhile.

I was surprised to see William Shatner there participating in one of the horse shows, but I discovered that he was the one promoting the show. I was aware that he was putting on a charity event at the club later that afternoon. I was able to get a few photos of him.

How Many Ways Do We Victimize Our Children?

2010-04-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

When I think about all of the injustices in this world, it really just makes me sick to my stomach. But I often feel helpless in these situations because I don’t feel equipped or without enough black marks on my own life that could either land me in lot of trouble somewhere or embarrass me. Well it is not enough to stop me for sure, but I don’t even know where to start.
I am going to start by reading about children advocacy and see where that takes me. I feel like there is something that I can do and something I need to do for the sake of children in this world. They are victimized in so many ways. How do we stop this, where do we start? I guess that is the question on the minds of many of us. There are so many children that are victimized within the family structure, as well as outside of it.

As I am writing this, I look over and there is a picture of my late grandmother sitting on my pc laptop, which is open for quick use. It reminds me that my grandmother took in, or a tleast kept track of a young boy whose mother was an alcoholic. He was a couple of years younger than my father, who tells me that he and Smithy had been friends since he was six years old.
Smithy spent many nights at my grandmother’s house and on family vacations with them. My dad always talked about when they would sit down to dinner he and Smithy would sit and eat, they would drink a quart of milk each at one sitting. My grandmother told me that when she ordered milk from the milk man, which came in glass bottles at that time and delivered to your door, she would always order enough so Smithy would have exactly what my dad had.
I don’t know the extent of how she cared for Smithy, but I do know as an adult Smithy thanked her, and often said he would probably be dead if it was not for my grandmother.

This is what is lacking in our society, people, caring for others. There was a time when you didn’t have to be family or blood related to help others in their times of need. Others would see a young mother struggling and step in to help, with whatever they had to offer. Sometimes that may have just been guidance. We are so into our own little worlds these days, and we shut out what is going on around us, so we don’t have feel, we become emotionally disconnected from the pain of our fellow man. I have been guilty, as I think most people have, because we don’t think that we can make enough of a difference. We are afraid to get too involved because then we will lose focus on what we want and believe we need in this life.

We all have seen too any cases where the children in our society are abused and/or neglected, and end up in the foster care system. Many times these kids are placed again in abusive situation, and sometimes are lost in that system. We have read those stories where these kids end up dead in our system. There were a couple of cases in Florida when I lived there, that was beyond appalling. One such case was a toddler had been dead almost a year before her case worker realized that she was missing. Another, when two young kids were placed in the custody of their uncle after their mother's death to discovered that he had been sexually molesting the little girl for about four years, and had started on the little boy. After he was seen with the two children by a lady that knew his history called the authorities. It was discovered that this uncle had been convicted and served time for child molestation in another state. These two children were actually wards of the state of Florida, but the authorities allowed the uncle to care for them, without a complete and thorough background check. How did they not know this man's criminal history before allowing him to take these two young children.

After these cases the state of Florida was definitely under attack, rightfully so, and a number of people lost their jobs. However, no state is adequately staffed for the growing number of neglected children entering the system. I always wondered what could be done, and I had thought if regular citizens could volunteer to help with the overload, how could they be certified to do the job and do it well.

Well there is a program in place to do just that. It is called CASA, Court Appointed Special Advocates. . If many of our youth that are serving life sentences in prison had someone there for them, many of them would not be in jail.

The young woman in the video above, Sara Kruzman, would have been one of those children that would have definitely benefited from having a child advocate. Her mother was on drugs so she found that home in Gigi, who was a pimp. Now she will spend the rest of her natural life in prison for fighting back. She is again victimized by the system.

Where is Home for you?

2010-04-10T17:19:00.000-07:00

I have been having a great deal of dreams about my hometown lately. I don't know what it is all about, but it is a great deal better than the nightmares that I have been having for the past month due to percocet of which I have been taking after surgery.
I have been reconnecting with old friends via facebook and it has been wonderful.

I am from Savannah, Georgia, which is an absolutely beautiful city, but I never felt it was a place for the upwardly mobile. The glass ceiling is definitely visible. Therefore most of my friends moved away after high school and never returned. However I did return for a few years and never felt good about being there. I always felt stagnated. So I left again. Now that I am getting older I feel a pull back home. Maybe it is just that I have been reconnecting with those from home and miss the days long gone.

My parents are still in Savannah and they are getting older, so I am sure that the day will come when I will return, but it is not today. I am grateful that my parents are still in good health and doing well, as am I.

Maybe it is just time for an extended visit.

Where is home for you? Do you still feel connected? Why?

The President in Savannah, Ga.

2010-03-04T12:10:00.000-08:00

Savannah residents were extremely excited on Tuesday when President Barack Obama visited the city. He was doing what he said that he wanted to do and that is to bring big government to the working class and find out what their needs and expectations are. He also does this to keep in touch with why he ran for office. He didn't come to see the dignitaries of the city, he came to see and be seen by those people that he is working hard for in his administration. He made four stops in the city that proved imperative . Even though his hands are tied in many issues, because politics is what it is, Politics, he is working as hard as he can to do what he thinks is right.

President Obama realizes the importance of tackling the high school dropout rate in this country and how important it is for these young people to find their gifts and be able to become productive, for themselves as well as for their country. His visit to Savannah Vocational School showed the students there, some of them high school dropouts, that what they are doing is just as important to this nation as the students with college degrees. This technical school has programs that teach skills for the green energy jobs, and that showed them that they are the future of this country.

Jack Kingston, a Republican congressman from Ga. hitched a ride back to DC with President Obama, against the judgement of many of his constituents. Obama did not carry the state of Georgia during his election, which was not a surprise to me, but a disappointment. It is still the mentality of the Old South, and that is unfortunate. Due to the reception that he received on his visit to the city, there are a number of people that did vote for him, but not enough for him to carry the state. It is great that the attitude of the old south didn't taint the enthusiasm of the others.

How is Desiree Rogers responsible for a SECURITY BREECH -not her job

2010-02-27T08:24:00.000-08:00

Mrs. Roger's job is Social Secretary not Security Secretary. How in the world could the security breech of the state dinner, where there were two party crashers that was waved through by more than one security check point be the responsibility of the party planner. I was really expecting to see secret service head roll, but that is not what happened. I wonder why it didn't, because it definitely should have been a myriad of pink slips floating in the air. Instead the pressure is on the Social Secretary.

It is obviously that there is a great deal more going on here. From where I stand, she did a great job for which she was hired. The President and the First Lady wanted to make the White House, the people's house and that is exactly what happened. The First Family was more accessible to those that voted him in office and not just to dignitaries. They hosted school children quite often even planting a garden that is maintained by school children. The list goes on and on. It appears as though this is more of 'crashing of egos' than anything else. The question is whose egos are crashing.

Who would she have actually rub the wrong way? Who would be jealous of the job she has done so well, and by the way looked fabulous doing?

Even though I am very proud of the woman that I see, I can't vouch for her character, because well I don't know her. Is there something in her character that makes her less attractive? I am sure there is still a great deal left to be said, but the problem will be the sources, and our only source is the media, and we know how they sensationalize everything, especially when there is a victim.

So I expect to see her character attacked in the weeks following her actually departure from the White House, because the security breech just could not possibly be the reason.

Bill Withers-The Music Man

2010-02-18T07:44:00.000-08:00

Still Bill Trailer from B-Side Entertainment on Vimeo.

Bill Withers has made music that transcends race and time, which is obvious by how much his music is played today. He was born William Harrison Withers on July 4th, 1938. Yes Independence Day, not surprising for a man that was definitely an independent thinker, true to himself and what he believes in.

It was during his nine year stint in the U.S. Navy that he decided to pursue a musical career, and upon discharge, he moved to Los Angeles, California. In 1971 he debut with " Ain't No Sunshine" which was an immediate success, but he refused to quit his day job.

In 1971, 1981, and 1987 he won a Grammy Award for the same category, 'Best Rythm and Blues Song'. Then he dropped out of site.

There were quite a few of us that wondered why Bill drop out of view. After listening to his being interviewed on the Jesse Thorn Radio Show, I now know.

Bill basically talked about the demands of being a performer and that there were some real mean people in the business, he called them "cold pimps". He said that there is a poem that he always kept in his head;

The Manager's son goes to Yale
The Blues Man's son goes to Jail

As he expressed in this interview, he had responsibilities that required that he be available.

Below is the interview with Bill Withers and Jesse Thorn.

The Sound of Young America

michael explains

2010-02-13T18:18:00.001-08:00

People have called Michael Jackson a great deal of things, and most of us loved him dearly in spite of the media. I don't remember ever seeing this video in the past, but he explains a great deal here.

We are the World 25 year Annivesary

2010-02-13T16:48:00.000-08:00

When I first heard that they were remaking 'We are the World" I was not excited at all. Mostly because I thought that it was one of the greatest things Michael Jackson had every done. Getting all of these people in one place at one time for a cause such as this is amazing.

Well I was wrong this video is even better. Just building on Michaels dream, and that is beautiful.

You be the judge.

OK OK It is great to see all of that Old School Talent.

Civil Rights and Bob Dylan

2010-02-11T11:04:00.001-08:00

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee has been instrumental in social change since the 1960's with his folk music. He was born Robert Allen Zimmerman on May 24, 1941 in Duluth, Minnesota.

At the age of six, his father was stuck with Polio and the family moved to Hibbing, Minnesota, a small but close-knit Jewish community where his mother was from. He spent most of his youth listening to the radio and fell in love with music, at the time it was rock and roll.

When he entered the University of Minnesota, he decided that rock and roll was not enough for him and turned to folk music. He wanted to write and sing songs that reflected life, with all its pain and deep emotions. He wanted to tell these stories. It was at this time that he started to introduce himself as Bob Dylan.

In 1963 Dylan was very active in the Civil Rights Movement, when he was to appear on the Ed Sullivan Show, and because of his politics and the song that he wanted to sing on the show "Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues" CBS Television believed it to be slanderous against the John Birch Society, so instead of being censored, he refuse to appear on the show.

Of course this got him a great deal of attention.

In August of 1963, Dylan and his partner Baez sang songs from his third album " The Times They Are A-Changin", at the March on Washington.
On this album were songs like, " Only A Pawn in Their Game", which addressed the death of Medger Evers; "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll" about the death of a black barmaid at the hands of a white socialite; and many others that carried strong political messages.
He also recorded this song,

" The Death of Emmit Tillman"

By the end of that year the pressure and tension of his activism had taken his told and the music changed.

Cooking Again -Daughter Home from College

2009-12-30T18:45:00.001-08:00

I use to really enjoying cooking and trying new recipes, but since I now live alone, I don't cook so much anymore. I do love good food though. Since my daughter has been out here visiting I have been cooking more. I guess that is just what mothers do when their children are around. My daughter is 23 years old so maybe she should be cooking for me, but that is not how it normally works I guess. Besides she loves it when I cook and when we are able to try out new things. Just maybe I will keep it up once she is gone back to college.

Facebook - what does it mean to you?

2009-12-29T11:14:00.000-08:00

I was introduced to facebook about three years ago, but I was not to keen on the social networks. I am still not very fond of Myspace, and that probably is because there is a very young crowd there.

It is just in the last year that I decided to complete my profile on facebook and start to connect with others. I must say that I have really enjoyed it. I have reconnected with old friends from college and high school and it has been fun. Catching up with what everyone has been doing over the years. Seeing their children now all grown-up and going on with their lives. It has been a great deal of fun for me.

It is so easy to lose touch with old friends, and most often you never reconnect, but facebook has been that easy place to reconnect. I believe that I will probably stay connected with most of these old friends at this point. I must warn you though, it is addictive, or it can be.

Sighting - Jermaine Jackson and Ray J

2009-12-26T18:42:00.000-08:00

Thought I would go to the mall to see if I could get a last minute deal on something wonderful. I did, but it was not what I expected. I ended up buying something for my skin. The mall was really crowded today as you would expect. Even though it has been reported that the stores were not as full today as in the past years. Maybe they were not talking about the one in Woodland Hills. They had a great deal of sales of course, but I was looking for that one thing that just jumped out at me and was such a great price. I didn't see anything like that. I am trying to gussy up my fashion accessories, and was really looking for things like, jewelry, scarves, hats, etc. Unfortunately, I didn't see anything that was screaming to go home with me.

I did see Jermaine Jackson and his wife standing in line around the Coffee Bean kiosk. He didn't see me at first but she was looking directly at me. I thought of taking out my cell phone and taking a picture, but decided against it, and just moved on through the food court. I saw him again as I was walking toward the upward escalator and he and his wife were coming down. This time he was looking right at me through his aviator glasses and I waved at him and he waved back and flashed that beautiful Jackson smile.

Jermaine is my least favorite of the Jackson's but it was good to see him out and about. If I had seen him 25 years ago, I would have been spellbound, but I guess from being older as well as living in Los Angeles, right around the corner from the Jackson compound, I am not star struck. I see celebrities all of the time and realize that they are just like you and I.
I am always asked if I ever get their autographs, but I don't because when I see them they are usually with their families and I am really respectful of their privacy and their family time. I usually always speak to them though, and they always respond in a friendly manner. That is enough for me.

Since my daughter was with me she got the thrill, even though she knows nothing about growing up with the Jackson 5, but she also saw Ray J, who is in her generation, pass right by her while he was of course talking on the cell phone. I think that we both spotted him at the same time.

I live in San Fernando Valley where a great deal of celebrities live, so I see them all of the time, and it is always good to see them doing their thing.

Why Do We Allow the Media to Manipulate?

2009-12-23T10:02:00.000-08:00

It amazes me how we hold others to standards that we are not even able to live up to, especially those people whose lives are in the spotlight. I know in many ways we are supporting the careers of many of these people but does it also give us the right to tear them down?
We are supporting their work, their gifts, and their talents. Yes we want to know more about them as people, but when we find out that they are flawed we treat them like they have the plague, and that is not fair at all. Hell we are all flawed, some of us more so than others. I guess the old adage still applies that misery loves company, even when it is someone that we don't really know. I think part of it is that these people's lives are always plastered in the media so we feel that we know them, but we don't, there is always more to them whether good or bad that is not in the media. There is often more to those that we are closest too than we know. I have friends that have passed on that I am still finding out things about.

We forget that they are still people with the same feelings, emotions, hang-ups, and flaws as all of us. They have families, bad days, disappointments, and tragedies in their lives just like the rest of us and they deal with these things just as we do. We have the tendency to see them as bigger than life and what we consider role models, but when we see their flaws we immediately want to dismiss them.
Remember as a kid when you could not imagine your first grade teacher going to the bathroom. I do. The thought of my beautiful teacher, that commanded respect and attention in the classroom, and always knew the right thing to do for us as students and small children, could possible be sitting on the toilet. Right, too much to imagine, huh. There was also a time in your life when you could not imagine your own mother and father having sex.
My point is that we put people on pedestals because of what they bring to our lives, and yes there are some build their own pedastal, but those people fall off their self-made pedestal faster than others.
Then we grow up and realize that that teacher is just a person with bodily functions like the rest of us, that experiences that same things that we do, and we let those fantasies go. Well it is time to let those fantasies go when it come to public figures.
It is great for your children to look up to some of these people, but merely as a figure that has made some accomplishments that they too want to make, or as a person that has realized their dream regardless of the many obstacles or not; but not as a god.

Most will tell you that there are no overnight successes. There was a great deal of hard work and anguish that went into realizing their dream long before we ever knew they existed. When you really look into the past experiences of our celebrities, many slept in cars, a friends couch, lived on roman noodles or soup, that is because they never gave up and that is what you want your children to learn, to never give up on your dreams.
It is time for us to back off and not allow the media to control us. We need to give the same respect to others that we would want to receive. It has to be hard enough to have your life plastered in the media for everyone to see and judge.

Your Adult Children

2009-12-18T22:22:00.000-08:00

It is a great feeling to see your kids grow into adults and make good decisions for their life. For a great deal of parents that is not the case and have to constantly worry about their children and their choices. Some of these situations are more traumatic than others. My daughter is not a perfect child, but she has definitely been a good one. One would like to think it is due to good parenting, and most often it is, but there are times when one is parented well and still make bad decisions. Decisions that potentially devastate their lives and rob them of their youth.

When you do have a child that turns out healthy and emotionally stable then you are truly blessed as a parent. It is definitely the hardest job that I ever had, but it has been the most rewarding one.
My daughter is about to graduate from college and for that accomplishment I am grateful. During the time of her college days, that are not quite over, she still made me proud. No the grades were not always her absolute best and there were trying times with her walking the line in making decisions for her life. I also remember those times and they are probably the hardest that I ever had to go through. Those are the years when you are growing into your own and those growing pains can be debilitating. You are faced with so many roads to take and you just don't know which one is right for you. I believe that is mostly because you don't know yourself well enough to know what it is you want and that is frustrating in its own right. Through it all she continues to surprise me and make me proud.

My daughter is now a woman and that is hard for a mother, knowing that your influence on your child is not as strong as it once was. And then you are surprised, because you realize that your voice is now in their head.

The Patch - Improved Quality of Life

2009-12-18T13:13:00.001-08:00

I realize that menopause and often times major surgery as a hysterectomy of some degree is a definite turning point in a women's life. As much as I don't like or trust FDA approved anything, especially drugs and even food, I realize now that the quality of my life takes priority. This is why I decided to take the estrogen patch. I chose the patch mostly because of what my doctor didn't say.

We know that there are various ways for a woman to take estrogen, orally, in patch form, suppositories and even creams. The last two I thought would be too much trouble, and I figured that the pill would be just easier, but when my doctor explained to me that the pill would be fine provided I have never had any problems with my liver, I immediately felt that interaction with my liver should be something to avoid. This is why I opted for the patch. I realize that once you damage your liver there is really no turning back. I also realized that I am not going to have to take hormone replacement forever, probably just for 2-4 years.

For now, it has definitely improved my quality of life and for that I am grateful. I now realize that it is not always smart to fight things without personal experience. That doesn't mean that you need personal experience with everything, but I do realize that there are things you just need to experience for yourself.
I can now be the poster child for this estrogen patch.

Now it is just a matter of my continual physical recovery from the surgery itself. I have been told that it takes a great deal longer for the internal scars to heal than those on the outside. So I will do as I am told and take it easy by listening to my body and adjusting things in my life accordingly. I want to have a full recovery and I expect a full recovery. As hard headed as I am, I have been heeding the advice of my doctor as well as those who has had this surgery before me.

Can you sho' me the drugs!

2009-12-08T19:36:00.000-08:00

Well that is exactly where I am three weeks after my surgery. I have been able to handle being here alone, merely moving from the bed, to the bathroom, and finally to the sofa. The lost of appetite, phantom cycle, and the daily misery has all been topped off with not being able to sleep more than two hours at a time. Often times it is 20-30 minutes at any given time. So this means that my body is not getting the rest it needs to heal, but in spite of that my doctor says that I am healing well.

Exactly three weeks after my surgery, the lack of hormones took a turn for the worst. The night before I had the worst night sweats ever. Waking up twice drenched in sweat. This was absolutely more than I was willing to deal with. So I already knew that it was not going to be a good day. Well I was right. I started to feel even more miserable than normal, and felt as though I was falling into a depression. I am just laying on the sofa fighting back tears that want to flow for no apparent reason. Starting to really regret even having this surgery. Asking myself, what have I done to my body? What have I done to my life? Will I ever be the same again? Then there were thoughts of my just wanting to lay there and die. No there were not any suicidal thoughts, but I just wanted it to end, to stop. Then the tears came at full force, and there was no control.
I called my friend in Chicago, who was here to care for me immediately after surgery, and her compassion was unbelievable. She just allowed me to cry, and eventually I stopped and was able to tell her what I was feeling and how bad it had been all day. Then I got a returned call from my doctor, who had just gotten out of surgery at a nearby hospital. She apologizes for not calling me earlier in the day and brought me a prescription for hormone replacement therapy to my house on her way home. I decided the patch would probably be better for me.

Now I was really trying to avoid having to take any type of hormone replacement because of all that has been implicated about these synthetic hormones, but I knew that I was in a place where I needed to do something and I could not do this on my own.

Two weeks after surgery

2009-11-27T12:01:00.000-08:00

I am on my own again. My friend just got the shuttle to the Burbank Airport to head back to Chicago, and I miss her already. She is getting back home so that she can get some rest before going back to work. Her taking care of me after my surgery was more work than either of us thought it would be. I was watching her cook and wash dishes in what seemed like an endless cycle. She is also very sensitive to my neat-freak ways and tried to accommodate those as well. She was nothing short of wonderful, generous, and gracious; and I feel truly honored to have her in my life. She cooked for me, she cleaned for me, she cleaned up after me, she attended to my every need. We laughed, we cried, and we talked for hours, at least that was the first few days after being released from the hospital. Then the misery set in.

I ended up with a sinus infection on top of everything else, so now I am taking a really strong antibiotic, pain medication, as well as an inhaler to get the mucous out of my lungs. These things were the constant struggles, and then I started to lose my appetite, but I needed to eat something because of all of the medication I was taking, but after two bites of anything, it appeared to swell in my mouth, too large to swallow. So of course I am feeling really sick at this point.

Did I mention that everything I ate gave me gas, absolutely everything, Oh yes I did the constipation dance as well. So can you imagine how my body tensed up with these two things. Not to mention the pain that shoots through, around, and across one's poor broken body.

To top it all of, you are not going to believe this. I have the phanton period (menstrual cylcle). Now where is that coming from. lol
Can you tell me what misery is all about, I think I got it thank you.

It has been 10 years

2009-11-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

Today is my godson's birthday, he turns 30 years old. Now that makes me feel really old. His mother gave birth to him when I was in my freshman year of college and I have adored him from that moment to this one.
He grew up a fine young man and after high school he decided to go into the Marines. He left boot camp in Paris Island, South Carolina and was sent to California and he was really homesick. He came back to Savannah every chance he got. On one of those visits he met with some of his high school friends and they all went to a Greek Fraternity step-show at the local college there, Savannah State. Of course they were all college age, 20, and only one was in college and that was his best friend.

Following the step-show, they stopped at a local liquor store to buy a few beers and some other alcohol, because after all my godson was a military man, with a car, and they were just hanging out together. None of them were of legal drinking age. They were now headed to another party and as so many teenagers do they decided to race with some guys that were in another car.

As they picked up speed they came upon a sharp curve in the road and they hit a tree at the rate of 60 mph. I I didn't get the call until the next morning, and it was a call you never want to get, but I can only imagine what his mother felt when she got the call in the middle of the night.

He was in a coma and had broken his pelvic and his leg. They drilled a hole in his skull to release the pressure,. There was cerebral swelling and bleeding.

His best friend who was in the front passenger seat died instantly and had to be removed from the car with the 'jaws of life'. There was also a passenger in the back seat that had only sustained minor injuries.

I rushed to the hospital when his mother called me and she was afraid that I may not be able to handle seeing him in this condition. I am always pretty good under pressure and fall apart after the fact. It was really hard to see him fighting for his life.

A few days later they told his mother that he had no more brain activity and she need to get the family together and consider removing him from life support.
Thank God that she refuse to remove life support, because a few weeks later he came out of the coma, but had sustained quite a bit of damage to his brain and would never be the same. He had to learn to talk and walk all over again, and he only remembered a handful of people, but I was one of those that he did remember. At first he didn't even remember his grandmother.
He went through intense physical therapy and had to be taught again as though he was a toddler.
He has since fully recovered physically, but his mental capability will forever remain that of a 15 year old.

He is still the sweetest and most loving child that I have had the good fortune to love and have love me.

Slice and Dice Time

2009-11-06T18:48:00.002-08:00

Next week this time I would have been sliced into like a baked potato. Too bad they can't do a little bit of a tummy tuck while they are there. I had some of my readers that know me personally wanting me to post information concerning my surgery. It was a bit hard for me to imagine doing this at first because I come from that good southern family where some things should remain hush hush. I do realize that I am not the first nor the last to ever have this kind of surgery so I have decided that I will give the details without the blood and gore.

Due to the rapid growth of a recently discovered fibroid tumor I am having a hysterectomy. This fibroid is in my uterus and the size of a 16 week fetus. Can you imagine that. Since I am almost fifty years old my doctor and I decided that I should have a total hysterectomy. She told me that I only had a couple of years before my ovaries stopped working anyway, so get rid of them. On a more serious note, she stated that about half of the time she has had to go back and remove them later, so we are going to do a one for all here.
I look at the entire thing as a midlife tune-up, removing those parts that are starting to cause trouble so that they can't cause any more problems. Yes it is a major surgery, but I believe that things are going to be so much better after I am healed.

The concern at this point is if hormone replacement therapy will be necessary. My doctor doesn't seem to think so because I am in pretty good health. Right now my menopausal symptoms are pretty mild and if they don't become severe then I will handle it all holistically. I am not one to take a great deal of synthetic anything. So I will look for foods and herbs that act like hormones.

My family and friends have been great and I know that all will be fine. No, I am not afraid about the surgery, more or less I have been a bit anxious of all surrounding the surgery. Mostly because I have never had surgery before and am not use to being sick, and I am already not liking it too well.

What Niceties Did You Learn From Your Ex

2009-11-03T22:51:00.000-08:00

Can you look back through all of the hurt and pain of a difficult marriage and then a divorce.

Usually it is not all bad, but what are some of the things that you learned other than the hard lessons of merging two very different lives together. Besides the facts that you both had two different value systems, or maybe it was the moral issues that ripped you apart.
I would definitely hope that you have learned a great deal from those hard lessons.

What else did you learn? Tonight I had fleeting thoughts of what little habits have change with me since I met this man that I committed my life to. They are very small things but they are things that I didn't do or consider before.

I now cook my rice with coconut milk and cinnamon sticks. It is the tastiest white rice that I have ever had. I now use only basmati rice instead of the long grain rice that I grew up with.

I now love the taste of avocado, however I still don't like the guacamole that I have come across so far. I have been told though if I ever eat some good guacamole in Mexico, I would change my mind. Now I can slice an avocado and eat it alone. It is amazingly good for you; the good oils.

I can now differentiate between Swahili and other African languages when I hear it spoken on the streets. My husband spoke both Swahili and Luganda fluently, so I know those two when I hear them.

Unfortunately I also learned to be a bit prejudice, which I am not going to divulge because I pray that God removes that from my heart.

Surprising Source of Anxiety

2009-11-03T21:09:00.000-08:00

In less than two weeks I will be under going surgery. I am a little nervous about it all because I have never been in need of a major surgery. I have always been in excellent health. I am still in pretty good health but the body is getting older and in obvious need of some repair. The anxiety of the surgery is not what is most overwhelming, it is actually not being in control of the circumstances surrounding the surgery. I will need someone to be here to cook for me, to clean my house, and to even help me to take a shower. These are all things that we take for granted, at least those of us that have always been able to do these things for ourselves.

My anxiety is actually coming from having to depend on someone else for my basic needs. I realized just how much of a control person I really am. No I am not surprised, but I never thought that my not having total control of ME for even a short period of time would cause such stress.
I must say that I am very fortunate to have a friend of thirty years that volunteered to come out to Los Angeles and make sure that I am taken care of for two weeks. This also relieved my parents from having to come out here from Georgia. My daughter of course wants to come but she is in her last year of college and she needs to take care of finishing that degree. Furthermore this surgery is major but not a matter of life and death, and I will be in good hands.

The idea that I will not be able to do anything for myself is frustrating. Also I have no control over anything, not how my food is cooked, how my house is cleaned, or anything that I use to be in control of. This is funny to a great deal of people and I am starting to find the humor in it all myself, but it was a cause of serious anxiety for me.

I had to just convince myself that none of these things are more important than my health and I am very fortunate to have a friend that loves me enough to leave her family and fly over a thousand miles on her dime to care for me. How do you ever repay that?

Maybe I have earned this kind of loyalty in my friendship but I don't think that it has much to do with me but everything to do with her and who she is as a woman. I guess she loves me and I am thankful for that love.

Going Back in Time

2009-11-03T14:13:00.000-08:00

What would it mean for you to go back in time? What would you do differently? Why would you want to turn back the clock? How far would you go back?

These are questions that are always talked about. We talk about hindsight be 20/20. If we only had a crystal ball.

Well there is not a great deal that I would change, but of course there are a few things. I would have listened to my parents more. And then there are instances where I would have listened to them less. Parents can only pass on to you what they know and just like your parents and teachers are the ones that create your belief system, someone else also created theirs. Most people don't ever align their belief system with what they have learned, they just don't know how.

Turning back the clock will give you a chance to have a do over, but mostly it will give you more time. You don't have to be younger to do anything these days. Some may wish that they had given birth to their children earlier or later or have gotten married earlier or later. Mostly we just want to have the time to do those things that we believed that we missed out on. A great deal of middle age women want to go back to their younger more glamorous selves. Even though my body was more toned, my hair was longer and fuller, and I had a great deal more energy, I am thoroughly enjoying being almost fifty. I feel more beautiful than before. When I was younger I was not aware of my looks therefore they were not important to me. It is not that it is more important now it is more about how I feel about myself and my life. That is something that radiates to the outside.

How far would I go back if I could go back? That is hard to determine as well. For some reasons I could say about 24, even though I thought my 20's were worst than my teens. So then I would say about 35 years old for vain reason. To me I absolutely looked my best, and was on my way to knowing more about life and where I fit in. Well I was wrong again. So I believe that I will start right where I am. I may feel different 20 years for right now, but there is something to be said about life's journey and with all of it's highs and lows, it is our journey, along with a great deal of lessons just for us. So I am looking forward to the rest of my journey.

The only thing I would really change is I would have slowed down and just enjoyed the journey.

Ask yourself these questions and let me know what you would do if anything, and if not, why.

Health Care

2009-10-28T13:39:00.001-07:00

Health Reform, what does that mean to the average person. There are so may fighting this change and then there are those that have been fighting it for years and now realize there must be some sort of change. We need to begin to change the health care and pharmaceutical industries, the average Americans are consistently going broke behind medical expenses. We are not going to get it right with the first bill, but that is why there are amendments, and they will be necessary.

It is so frustrating that all that corporate is concerned with is the bottom line, the profit, but look at the casualties this sort of thinking gives rise to. It is actually embarrassing to this country. I don't believe that the average Americans would mind paying higher taxes if they are the ones that reap the benefit from the revenue, but the working man is not the one that benefits, those corporate heads are the ones that benefit. Once the tax is raised you never hear any more about what the money is being used for.

Obama is not trying to raise taxes he is merely trying to impose a tax system that is equal for all according to one's income and then channel those revenues in programs that are actually working. Health care reform is something that has been on the table for many decades but not much is ever done and that is just no long acceptable.

I read this in the LA Times earlier this week and it is unbelievable.

How could Obama still win Republican support for healthcare reform?
He should finally realize that we need to reform our insane malpractice system. The U.S. is spending between $60 billion and $200 billion a year on protection against lawsuits. I used to be a doctor, I know how much is wasted on defensive medicine. Everybody I practiced with spends hours and enormous amounts of money on wasted tests, diagnostic and procedures -- all to avoid lawsuits. The Democrats will not touch it. When Howard Dean was asked why, he said honestly and explicitly that Democrats don't want to antagonize the trial lawyers who donate huge amounts of money to the Democrats.

It is unbelievable that these doctors are not willing to do the necessary test on a patient. I am glad that doctors have some fear in being sued. If that is what it is going to take for them to be sure of the cause of a patient's complaints. It has been my experience that doctors either want to dismiss your ailments or over medicate.
It is even hard to find a good health care provider these days.

I long to see some drastic changes made, and hopefully this will in fact be the year that reform and regulation of these two industries begin.

Renewed Fashion Sense

2009-10-27T20:51:00.000-07:00

For many years I have loved beautiful clothes and that is mostly because my mother was a really sharp dresser. I loved shoes and bags most of all, but honestly I loved it all. I realized later that I was not a shopper at all I was merely a buyer. I would walk in the stores where I shopped and if I saw something on display that I liked I would ask if it was in my size. Then there were sales ladies that knew me from being a frequent customer and they pull things for me, but I was never one to look through racks of clothes and put things together. Actually I didn't know how.

I grew up and only child and went to private schools all of my life. So I wore a uniform to school for 12 years of my life. Unlike the public school kids, who didn't wear a uniform to school everyday, they learned how to put their outfits together for school and mix and match things to change the look. This is something that I never learned and I didn't have any sisters to play dress up with. I guess you would think that I am whining about this, but I am not, just stating the facts.

I never looked through the magazines watching the trends, but back then fashion magazines were not as informative as they are now. It seems as though fashion was only for those that was in the industry, and it was even hard to find out how to get into this special group of people. Now every designer, fashion magazine, stylist, and anyone else involved in this elite group has a website. When looking through these fashion magazines who knew that the clothes the models were wearing were selected by what is now known as a stylist.

Now after raising a daughter and getting her through college, I am finally learning how to shop. Well part of this is because of my daughter. I have continued to love nice clothes and owned my share of them, but this shopping thing is fun. Now I am shopping with a purpose. I know some of your are saying 'whatever', but I am serious. Thanks to my daughter and the fashion websites, fashion magazines, and all of the fashion conscious people in Los Angeles, I am learning how to actually shop. I must say I am having the time of my life. The greatest thing is that I don't just buy something because it is appealing to me. I actually think about my purchases and how the new items will fit in with what I already own. Even better is when I go out shopping I already have in mind what I am looking for, and I rarely buy anything else, unless it will fit with my other wardrobe pieces and it is a great price and great quality.
This may all seem sophomoric to some, but it is freeing to me. It just goes to show you how something that many have been doing all of their lives can still be new to someone else.

I think a great deal of this has come about for me because I am now really looking at my life. Getting to know who I am and the best way to express who I am. Expressing myself through my style of clothes, through my writing, through my photography, and even my choice of vocation.

Renewal and discovery is where I am in life right now. It is like I am learning to breathe.

Who Says You Can't Be Fashionable on a Mobility Scooter

2009-10-20T13:09:00.000-07:00

If you think I am speaking of a motor scooter you are wrong, I am talking about a mobility scooter. While I was at a red light on Van Nuys Blvd. waiting at the corner where there were two people on mobility scooters. The woman was parked ahead of the man and they were waiting for the light to change so they could cross the street. She was constantly turning back to talk to him which indicated to me that they were actually together. The lady was wearing a apple red cowboy style hat with a red leather hip length coat. Since she was sitting, I could not tell you much about the other clothing that she was wearing other than that they were dark in color. She was also wearing a ring on every finger of her right hand. I knew that because she was waving it around as she spoke to her companion. Of course she had perfectly decorated fingernails and I could see that red was on them somewhere along with a few other colors. Yes they were long enough for multiple colors.

The man was also on a mobility scooter and he was wearing a leather cowboy hat and a black leather jacket. The rest of his clothing was also black, and I could see that he was wearing a large Gold belt buckle. I guess he had that whole cowboy thing going on.

When the traffic light changed I proceeded on my way and I am assuming that they both did the same. All I could do was to smile. Of course I found this a little comical but my next thought was that it was also inspirational.

My second thought was that just because you face a challenge in your life doesn't mean that you stop living, regardless of how debilitating this challenge may be. Some times we have challenges that we can't change so we need to learn to continue to live in spite of them.

You continue to Move even when you are mobility challenged.

My Daughter the Stylist

2009-10-16T14:30:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how our children grow up and you can see parts of yourself and other members of your family. And when you let them evolve naturally they surprise you and make you proud at the same time.

My daughter has always been a pretty girl, of course I am a bit bias but even from a baby she was often told how pretty she was. Now yes she did go through that awkward pre-teen stage as we all do, and then she once again blossomed into a very pretty young woman. She has beautiful features, skin, and hair, but she was never a diva. She really didn't care what she wore to school, if you bought it she would wear it. She was not really picky. When she went off to college, she wanted to look cute for obvious reason, college boys. Who would have known. We have all been there.

After the first year, she got into the wrinkled jeans and t-shirt stage and stayed there for quite some time. Then she cut off all of her hair and started wearing it curly, her natural texture. She also did what we all do and that is gain those college pounds.
Still wearing t-shirt, jeans, and short curly hair, she started to get into reading the fashion magazines, watching the fashion trends on television, where there are programming like Project Runway, Rachael Zoe, who has become her idol, and so many other programs. She has also been researching fashion on-line and reading the various fashion blogs. She has now decided that this fashion world is fun and that she wants to be stylist somewhat like Rachael Zoe.

After her visit to Los Angeles and seeing all of the options available in fashion, she went back to Savannah, started shedding those college pounds and making things happen. She is not as much into the Hollywood Glam as Rachael is, but she does like the style of Hollywood in the 50's. She has always loved vintage clothing and jewelry. Even before her visit to LA, she first started working with costume styling for a local play in Savannah, and got her accolades for that. So she is interested in working with costume designers and styling for tv.

She is now working with a local photographer in Savannah that is also trying to build a portfolio for himself in fashion photography.
She is having the time of her life and she is making it happen for herself and I am so very proud of her.

Whitney will also graduate from college this year with her bachelors in Mass Communication, which also gives her the option of working for a fashion magazine, possibly as a fashion editor.

Can you say 'Proud Mother"! Well yes I am and it is wonderful to see your children evolve and most importantly be happy with their choices for their lives. She is grateful to me for being the kind of parent that allowed her to grow her way, with guidance of course, but allowing her to be true to herself, and not necessarily my dreams for her.

Colmbus Day - An Insult

2009-10-12T09:26:00.002-07:00

I don't understand how this country celebrates Columbus Day with all of the catastrophe that is associated with this so called discovery. First of all he is not the first European to even come to this land, The New World, Leif Ericson touched this land and built settlements here almost 500 years before Columbus. I guess because Leif didn't run back to Europe with the idea of getting the support to develop this new land, he does not get the credit. It appears as though Leif was amazed by the beauty of this new land and its people and possibly wanted to preserve as oppose to destroy, under the disguise of Christianity and Colonization.

When safe land passage to China and India became difficult, Columbus was merely trying to find a shorter passage between these countries by sea. This was all in a time when it was believed that the earth was flat.

On his first voyage, three large ships departed in August of 1492 and on Oct 12, 1492 they spotted land, which is now known as The Bahamas. Columbus called the island San Salvador, but the natives called it Guanahani. So why did he rename it, this was an established and cultivated land with human inhabitants before he got there. So who gave him the right? Well that is the questions that will be asked for many years to come in reference to the many things done by Europeans in the name of Christianity and Colonization. Before leaving this island, Columbus left 39 of his men behind to settle an area that is now known as Haiti, and captured up to 25 natives, most of which died before reaching Spain. Therefore if he was the founder of anything it was enslavement.

We may as well celebrate the pirates of The White Lion, the first ship to bring Africans to North America, specifically Jamestown, Virginia. The Africans were pirated from the slave ship, St. John the Baptist, while sailing in the Gulf of Mexico. It was headed to Vera Cruz in Spanish America.

So what are we celebrating?

Lazhanae- one of thousands failed by their Country

2009-10-11T10:16:00.000-07:00

Violence among our youth starts when they are babies. They have no value for the lives of others because they don't value their own life, and why is that, because they have been taught that life has no value. This lesson is taught to them by the ones that are put here to care for them, and then those that are appointed to care for them when their parents can't or won't.

Many of these children are born to parents that don't want them, as Lazhanae was. Her mother was a substance abuser that gave birth to at least 8 children, and her intentions were to give them away, and she feels that she was doing them a favor by not aborting them. No I am not advocating abortion here, but doing them a favor, really. She should have done them a favor by not conceiving them if she did not want them or could not care for them. If she had enough sense to feel like abortion was wrong she should have known that this was also wrong and opted for some type of sterilization, or birth control. She was well aware of her life style and the circumstances of such a lifestyle.
What is even more appalling than this, is the fact that many of these children are placed in foster homes that should have never been foster homes at all. Some of these places are not fit for anyone to live in, and then there are times when these children are used and abused again and again. How do many of these people become foster parents? What is the criteria? What is the goal? What is the process?

It appears as though these kids are placed where ever someone would take them, regardless of where it is, as long as it is a perceived roof over the head and promise of food to eat.

A few years ago two children were award to their biological uncle after their mother died and he was a convicted sex offender. So he molested both the boy and the girl for about five years before anyone noticed. One day a lady that was familiar with him and his family knew that he was a convicted sex offender, she saw him with these children and called Child Protective Services. Now how in hell did that happen. This sort of thing really infuriates me.

We want to know why children are killing each other, they are only displaying what they know , what they have been taught, by the supposedly responsible adults of this nation.

It is known that Hurt People often Hurt People

Women At A Certain Age

2009-10-09T15:29:00.000-07:00

There is a new movie out entitles, 'Men of a Certain Age' but nobody seems to want to talk about women of a certain age. With the amount of changes that a women's body goes through in her life time it is still surprising that in this date and time it is still mostly ignored. Well we can at least say that it stays out of the mainstream. Well I am a women of a certain age and it can be devastating when a women reaches this certain age. My understanding of the changes that takes place in a woman's body is so much better now, but there was no warning.

I understand now why there are some women that reach the age of 50 and want to still dress like they are 20. Why there are so many women out there that has a hard time accepting their aging. Well even though I am accepting this aging process, and I have no desire to be 20 again, it is not an easy process.

First society does not like the aging woman but is in totally acceptance of an aging man. Our body changes inside and out and it is a bit devastating to the ego. I believe it is mostly because of the lack of acceptance. Our aging men want us to continue to look like we did 20 years ago and that is not possible. Not only are these physical changes challenging, but there are a great deal of emotional changes that are mostly brought on by our hormones. Menopause is quite different for every woman and can be cataclysmic for others.

On either end of the spectrum, it is definitely life altering and something most of us are not equipped to handle, and as much as it is talked and written about it is not nearly enough. There are still those that tell you that everything will be alright. That is funny to me, because you don't feel like things are going to be alright. You often times feel like hurting someone. Often times you are so out of character until you don't even recognize yourself, and that to me is disturbing.

There are all kinds of things on the market to help with the hormonal imbalance that treat the symptoms but not near enough out there to help you understand what it is that you are going through. The constant shift of emotions that your are dealing with or trying to deal with. People look at you like you are crazy when you talk about it, and there are times when you feel you are possibly losing your mind, and yes, losing your grip has been a reality for some women.

So understand that this is a difficult time for women and even with all that is written about it, it is very personal.

Bantering with Tommy Davidson

2009-10-07T17:19:00.000-07:00

Today while shopping on Ventura Blvd. near Laurel Canyon, I was sitting outside of Starbucks enjoying my pumpkin spice latte as Tommy Davidson walks out of the Starbucks. I didn't notice him sitting inside while I was inside, but he was obviously there. When I sat down outside I noticed a beautiful Siberian husky puppy tied to a pole and a lady came out and petted this puppy. A few minutes later Tommy came out and was standing right in front of me and finished his drink and reached down to untie the puppy. I then said to him, " How are you doing?" He turned around and said, "hello how are you." I then said, "I noticed that you are getting a bit of gray hair up there is that why I have not seen you on tv lately" He said, "I'm on tv, where have you been." I then asked him what channel was he on and he told me Showtime, then I told him that I didn't have Showtime. Then he said, " don't be giving me a hard time because of your cable deficiencies". We both laughed and I told him I guess I am going to have to get Showtime, and laughed. We then said take care to each other, and he got his puppy and went across the street, jumped into this beautiful convertible Jaquar, smiled and drove off. That was really cool to me, he was nice.

About three minutes later Eric Benet walked up to the crosswalk, and then looked around and behind him, which is where I was sitting, to see who was looking at him, and I made sure that I was not looking in his direction. I am not very fond of this guy. Every since he violated his marriage vows with Halle Berry and had the nerve to want alimony, I lost what little respect I did have for him.
Even though this was all fun, I enjoyed my shopping as well.

A New Direction

2009-10-03T20:35:00.002-07:00

I believe that we all reach a point in our lives when we are tired of the status quo and want something a bit more meaningful. I have always been told that when you serve others that your life is more meaningful to you and to others. It is just time to stop thinking of what I want and start thinking of what I can do to make the world a little better place. This has been on my mind for quite some time, especially since I moved to Los Angeles. Unfortunately I had to fight some demons and realized that these demons had deep roots. So the process of slaying these dragons is still ongoing, but as they say, "I can see the light".

When I see how bad this economy is and how little I am really affected by it and how gravely so many others are affected, it compels me to do something. I am struggling to find my place in this. I still have to make a living and I am trying to decided how much I am willing to sacrifice to give back. I don't want to just give money, which is the easiest thing to do, and many do that and yes it is necessary. I want to give of my time and my heart. So many people just need someone there for support and encouragement to move to the next place in their lives. Then there are many that need necessities that we often take for granted. Things like housing, food, clothes, health care, school supplies and time from others. The things that makes everyday life bearable and often possible.

I find myself wanting to do something for children, because they are our future and they are the innocent victims in all of this madness. They often need guidance, encouragement, love, and often times just a hug.

A few of years ago when Ellen Johnson Sirleaf was elected President of Liberia, I felt compelled to help her be successful in her country. Liberia's history states,'

Liberia, "land of the free," was founded by free African-Americans and freed slaves from the United States in 1820. An initial group of 86 immigrants, who came to be called Americo-Liberians, established a settlement in Christopolis (now Monrovia, named after U.S. President James Monroe) on February 6, 1820.

Thousands of freed American slaves and free African-Americans arrived during the following years, leading to the formation of more settlements and culminating in a declaration of independence of the Republic of Liberia on July 26, 1847. The drive to resettle freed slaves in Africa was promoted by the American Colonization Society (ACS), an organization of white clergymen, abolitionists, and slave owners founded in 1816 by Robert Finley, a Presbyterian minister. Between 1821 and 1867 the ACS resettled some 10,000 African-Americans and several thousand Africans from interdicted slave ships; it governed the Commonwealth of Liberia until independence in 1847.

These facts makes it very personal for me for obvious reasons. President Sirleaf appeared on Oprah and talked about her being educated in the states, how she was in exile, and the significant sacrifices she made for her country. The thing that touched me the most is the amount of children that wanted to go to school and could not afford to go, and the price tag was less than 300 dollars per year, for tuition, clothes, and school supplies. The tuition at the time was only 75 dollars per year. The difference that I saw with these children in comparison with many in the states is that these children really wanted to learn and when they had the opportunity they worked really hard as did their parents. The other key ingredient, was that they had the support of their parents.
I discovered that one of my co-workers was from Liberia and I told him of my idea. He put me in touch with his brother in law, who emailed me information along with a picture of a 12 year old girl, and wanted me to send a little less than 300 dollars for this child. Well I didn't do that, because I don't know this person and have no reason to trust them. Another reason is that some of the worst scams are from the continent of Africa. Preying on those who want to help. My idea was to go to Liberia myself and see children that needed help and wanted to go to school and personally sponsor them by buying their clothes and school supplies and paying their tuition directly to the school. I have talked to a couple of my friends that were also willing to sponsor a child through me. Not just for that year but every year until they finished school. This way I know every dime is going to the child, because I was to take care of my own expenses. I would go back yearly to check on their progress and make sure that the money is for the reasons intended.
Unfortunately, I have not done this as of yet, but it is still something that I plan to do. Within the next year I truly hope to make it happen.

Yes I know that there are many people in need right here in the states and I intend to find these opportunities as well, but President Sirleaf is the first African female President and I want her to be successful and I want her efforts to be successful, and one of those efforts is to educate the children in her country.

I Escaped in a Clown Car. Did You?

2009-09-29T15:18:00.000-07:00

There are often times when we want to escape something and/or someone in our lives and are not often careful how we escape. We imagine our method of escape has to be better than what we are escaping from. I was once in this situation. My daughter had gone off to college and I felt both physically and emotionally exhausted. This exhaustion was because for eighteen years I was a single parent. Trying to be everything to her, the provider, the mother, the father, and the friend. On top of that being, being a single mother in the workforce brings on yet another set of challenges. Even though that little person brings so much joy to your life, it is a responsibility like no other, quite a heavy responsibility.

I didn't realize that throughout these eighteen years this weight was breaking me down year after year, and in that last year I felt as though I lost all control and things truly started to fall apart. I let my daughter down as well as myself. The problem was, I had no idea the effect this all had on my emotional state, and we all know this stress can manifest itself physically.

About a year later, I met this man that I liked, more than all the others. He was the first man that I felt I could truly be myself with. He appeared to appreciate me for who I was and not wanting me to be something different or do something different.

Not having to worry about the drama of bringing a man in the house with my daughter, since she was off at college, and not having to worry about any of this affecting her life directly, I married this man and moved out to California.
I saw so many warning signs before the marriage, but it was obviously the only escape option that was presented to me at the time, so I stayed blind to the warning signs. I was in a place, an emotional low, that I was oblivious to, and therefore allowed a great deal of things to occur in my life that I would not have allowed otherwise.

So I escaped to California.

I just wished that I had escaped in a more stable, more solid, more mechanically tuned car, instead, I escaped in a clown car. So I climbed 'UP' into this clown car and went for this ride. Now we all know how low to the ground a clown car is, and to have to climb up means that I was pretty low.

While on this journey I saw Fords, Chryslers, BMW's, etc, and I wanted one of those. I realized my mode of transportation for what it was, a Clown Car, and I started to work on this clown car, patching it here and there, trying to make it into something that it was not meant to be.

Finally, I realized the the only thing to do was get rid of this car and the only thing that I could change was me . This clown car has since been junked, but I became attached to it, merely because it helped me escape an area and a life that was suffocating me. At that very moment my world opened up. I was not the least bit interested in replacing this car, I would rather walk. That is exactly what I did. Then I started to run, and now I can fly.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that we are exactly where we are suppose to be at any given time. These times were for my own growth. Preparation for something bigger and better, a breakdown so to speak, that took me to a place of humility, and for all of it I am grateful.

Patrick Swayze 1952- 2009

2009-09-15T13:44:00.000-07:00

All photos from US Weekly.com

Patrick Swayze has given a great deal of himself to his audience. I fell in love with his with the movie "Ghost" with Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg.
I understand that he started out as a dancer and his mother owned a dance school. Later, I was able to realize that this was another talent of Patrick's actually the one that got him in the door.

"Too Wong Foo" is another of my favorites. One that my daughter introduced me to and we have watched this together over and over again.

Another one is 'Point Break". These are the three movies that I have loved the most. His talent will truly be missed. I am happy that he no longer has to suffer that pain, and that he went to sleep knowing that he did his best and that he had given his all, and that his talent was truly appreciated.

"I Can Do Bad By Myself "

2009-09-13T17:12:00.001-07:00

I Can Do Bad All By Myself

This was absolutely a wonderful movie. Tyler let this story play out beautifully, and I love how he let the other smaller story lines play off the main story. This was definitely one of his best thus far. I believe that Tyler Perry is just getting started.
The most important thing here even more so than entertainment, he has really capture the true tone of black life and black love. He shows that we area multifaceted people, with many stories to tell. Tyler knows the root and that has been our Momma and the church. But he doesn't' just stop there because that is not everyone's story, often times it is the Daddy that is the cornerstone, or the granddaddy, or the lady across the street.

Taraji Henson was good as usual, she nailed this character. It was also refreshing to see Adam Rodriguez in this part, the cultural difference was necessary. The Church as a character was also great. This movie is definitely a must see. Thanks Tyler for telling our story.

Worked on a new Sketch

2009-09-13T00:08:00.000-07:00

Tonight I worked on a new sketch. It was something simple, a sketch of a seal. Mostly this lesson was about shading, and all about eyes for me. I nailed the eye, shading is good, but not as good as it could be. The perspective is better but also not perfect. I am satisfied with what was done at this point, as long as there is progress I am satisfied.

Tomorrow I will be working on another simple drawing of a flamingo, again a lesson in shading, perspective, and the eye.

This is fun, but it is work.

Rep. Joe Wilson Shows True Republican Colors

2009-09-10T13:35:00.000-07:00

photo taken from Wikipedia

South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson was the one that shouted, " You Lie" at the President during his address to Congress on Wednesday. This was a blatant display of disrespect not only for the man, but the highest office in our nation. This is also a display of the old adage, " It is easier to seek forgiveness than permission" His quick apology is further proof that it is not a true apology but just a formality.

Under normal circumstances I would believe that his emotions got the best of him, but this is a man that is a retired Army Colonel. He knows what it is to respect authority even when you don't agree, this is his Commander in Chief. This was more about the lack of respect for the man than the position.

I am from the south and I believe that this runs much deeper than the obvious disrespect. President Barack Obama is something that goes the against the grain of everything Wilson believed and was taught in his life. This angers him, and that is what took over on Wednesday.
Wilson may have even surprised himself in this situation, but his apology is not for what he feels for his President, but for his embarrassing behavior at this televised event.

Update

Inside the Mind of Joe Wilson, by Richard Benjamin

is a great article that reiterates my comments in this blog. This article is found on Salon.com

True Friendship is one of God's Greatest Gifts

2009-09-05T21:27:00.000-07:00

As we get older hopefully we learn what a true friend really is. I use to be a person that was extremely social, but now it is different. I am more of a loner these days. I have always been a bit of a loner to some degree, probably because I am an only child. As a child I use to crave the company of large families. These days, I am not only more of a loner, but even more of an introvert. This is a change in my personality that I would have never imagined.

A few days ago I discovered that I am going to have to undergo some major surgery and after talking to my mother, who was the first person I called, I called my girlfriend in Chicago. With no hesitation she said to me that she had some time to take at work, and she would come out to California when I have surgery. I was hoping that she would, but she offered with no hesitation, and I immediately realized how blessed I am to have a friend that would travel so far, to care for me.
We have been friends for thirty years. Wow that is forever. I remember a time that I thought thirty was middle age.

I guess the day will come when my friend and I will be plucking each other's chin hairs.

William Laga-Mental Illness, Homeles, Brilliant

2009-09-04T23:44:00.000-07:00

William Laga was diagnoses with Schizophrenia at the age of 16 and has been on the streets for over thirty years. An art gallery owner has been spending her Mondays with William because she recognize his brilliance and his illness. She buys him paint and canvasses so he can do what frees him, and that is paint.

William has been walking 16 miles to sit in art classes at Pierce College here in San Fernando Valley. He has been taking this walk for over three decades and the professors allow him to sit in their classes as well as take a weekly shower in the gymnasium at the school.

The art gallery owner, Marcell Danan has carefully packed up and shipped William's art to Paris for his first gallery showing, William is also staying in a hotel in Paris.
This is a beautifully amazing story and there are many more out there like William.

MJ in "The Great Mausoleum"

2009-09-03T23:02:00.001-07:00

photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

This service tonight looks very different than the memorial service that was held at the Staple Center. The memorial service was definitely for the fans, and this funeral is more personal.

Michael is being buried in Forest Lawn's 'The Great Mausoleum' which is beautiful in its own right. It is filled with marble, stain glass windows, life size sculptures, and much more beauty of the same. This is also an area where it is not open to the public, and well guarded by live guards in addition to many other security measures. This is the level of security that probably prompted Katherine Jackson to bury her son there.

This is the day that once again reminds us that even though he seems larger than life, he is merely a man with extraordinary gifts that he shared with the world. It is my belief that he was bestowed on us by His Father with a certain mission for a certain period of time. Well Michael has finished his mission an is now at Rest.

Chung Shi from Foot Solutions

2009-09-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

Today I went into Foot Solutions in Sherman Oaks, Ca. and met the nicest sales person. His name is Dan and he was really personable and quite helpful. I went into the store to look at the MBT shoes, but liked the Chung Shi shoe better. I tried the shoes on and fell in love with the feel. The first one that I tried on was the sandal, which is quite unattractive to say the least. I then tried on the Traveler which looks more like a hiking shoe, and they looked much better on my feet, even with the skirt that I was wearing. Since I am a photographer and always out and about looking for photo opportunities, I need and want to wear a comfortable shoe. This shoe is not only comfortable, it works the body's stabilizing muscles, and at my age, every little bit helps.

I plan to go back to the store on the weekend to see how the sandal looks with a pair of jeans, and if I can live with the look, both pair will be mine. At the very least I am going to purchase the Traveler.
Yes this shoe is more expensive than most easy walkers, but for the comfort that it provides, it is worth every penny of it's $260.00 price tag. If you are anywhere near a Foot Solutions, please go in and try on a pair if you are a person that does a great deal of walking. Whether you are walking on your job, for leisure, or just need comfort, this is definitely a shoe for you.

Why the American Economy is Going to Hell...

2009-09-02T18:20:00.000-07:00

My experience today is one of the reasons why the economy in the country is going to hell. Customer service is absolutely pathetic in most places, or should I say lack there of. All that these companies think about is the bottom line, the profit, not the consistent revenue.
Today I went to Sprint in Encino, Ca. to see if the many problems with my Samsung Instinct could be repaired. I have been there several times with some of the same problems and they would do something to the phone and then out the door I would go. The problems are never repaired. Well now many of the problems are merely worst. Today they are actually going to order me another phone, but the problem with that is that they are going to replace my phone with a refurbished phone. I know, I know, all refurbished products are not products that have been repaired, but some are, and there is no way to differentiate. I bought a new phone less than a year ago and under the manufacturers warranty I want my replacement to be new. I don't see that as being unreasonable. After going through the store management, I called customer service from the store and even talked to someone in their retention department name Patrick, and boy was he rude. The last thing he said to me was the worst.
I was expressing my feeling on my being a customer of 8 years and I have had a problem in the past with phones and the phones that had to be replaced, and they were replaced with new phones, or the upgrade.
I made the mistake of calling him sweetheart, and he told me that his name was Patrick and he would appreciate it if I called him that. At that moment I told him that the conversation was over and hung up the phone. I was foaming at that mouth.

To calm myself down I went down the street to my favorite sushi restaurant on Van Nuys and Ventura Blvd, ate their wonderful sushi and drank a glass of plum wine, and talked to the guy that made my food.
A few years ago, I would have called him a few things other than sweetheart or Patrick, but I am little bit more reserved now.

Once I arrived home I thought that I would call Sprint again because maybe Patrick was having a bad day. Well I talked to two more people that only gave me the option of getting the refurbished phone or paying for the upgraded version, well that is no option in my eyes. So I declined and told them that I would make new arrangements for my daughter and would call back by the end of the week to cancel my service. There response was, " thank you for calling Sprint".

Yes they are willing to lose a loyal customer of 8 years and thousands of dollars in revenue over a phone that cost them a couple of hundred dollars. It is their call but the buck stops here.

I don't want to deal with any company that does not value me as a customer, especially a loyal customer, when there are not many loyal anything around these days. They can forget their early cancellation fees, because I will read that contract and I will blast their A*# all over the web, but they will not get it another dime from me.

I am getting to the point where I would much rather deal with the mom and pop businesses of yesteryear. Yes, it may be more expensive, but if you can get good customer service it will add years to your life. The hassle is ridiculous. Everything is automated, and I am sick of that as well.
I am learning the value of the small businessman, and from now on I will seek out the locally owned businesses and give my money to them, because these corporate monsters only care about lining their own pockets, and I am tired of them lining it with my own money. I have many choices and I am going to utilize them.

We need to stop these companies from charging top dollar for products that costs them pennies and telling us that we are getting the best deal. This maybe my new mission, to locate small businesses and talk about them on my site and any where else I can give them a boost.

You know I have taken to buying a great deal of things on line because I really abhor going in stores and being greeted, or not, by bad attitudes, win/lose policies, and unappreciative corporate structures. Yes I am still mad.

I will continue to write more on what I come across on a daily basis and I will write the company's name, location, and even the employees name if applicable. I really don't care. They all need to be called out. I am going start a calling.

Doing My Own Thing also means Finding My Own Fashion Style

2009-08-31T23:47:00.000-07:00

My daughter Whitney has me watching the Rachel Zoe Project , Project Runway , as well as any other fashion inspired shows that she comes across. Of course I watch them all because this is what she is really interested in. I am also interested in changing my look at this stage in my life. So these shows do give you insight into what is out there and how to put things together, so I must admit, they are helpful. Of course everyone think that New York is the place for fashion, and it is, but Los Angeles has more than its share of design houses and fashionistas. The shopping here is more than plentiful than I have seen in any city, even New York.

Well I am working on finding my personal style again. There was a time when I loved clothes and had lots of them. This all stemmed from my mother who was a very sharp dresser and knew quality and she passed this love for fashion on to me. Now things are different, because I don't really like to shop anymore, at least not like before. However, I still love beautiful, well made clothes, but I don't desire to have everything that I see.

I will share my transformation with you as it takes place, but it will be a slow process, because I have many other things on my agenda as well.

Happy "51st" Birthday MJ

2009-08-30T20:47:00.000-07:00

I am again sharing this photo that I took at the Jackson Compound of some of the memorabilia that was on display in front of the house.

Michael will always be in the hearts of African Americans all over the world, we believe that he belong to us; but because of his works, his love of all people, and his incredible talent, he will be in the hearts of many.

Happy Birthday Michael, you will never be forgotten. Be at peace my brother.

Thank You Senator Kennedy -You Will Be Missed, But Never Forgotten

2009-08-26T14:15:00.000-07:00

Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy started out wanting and working hard for the rights of all Americans to live the American Dream. Through all of the tragedies that he has endured in his life, he lived to see the fruits of his and his brother's hard work.

Update:

After watching the funeral of Ted Kennedy today and the burial along with all of those that attended it makes me admire this family even more. We all see them as this extremely wealthy and privileged family and they were. There is something else that I realized, and that is that all of those children were raised with great love, a strong faith, a strong sense of what is right and wrong, a strong moral compass, a strong sense of family, and a strong sense of what was expected of them. Those are things that money can't buy. Their parents did a wonderful job.

Brown Sugar Reminds Me of Friendship, one in particular

2009-08-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

When I see this movie or hear the soundtrack, it reminds me of only one person. This friend was at one time my best friend. Unlike the movie, we didn't meet in childhood, we met as adults. He was newly separated from his wife, and I was a single mother of a two year old. There was an instant attraction and an instant friendship - later we were much more than friends. Within a few months, I realized that my friend was still very much in love with his wife. I backed up from the relationship, first because I truly loved him as a friend, and secondly because of my respect for the sacrament of marriage. If he wanted to save his marriage and reclaim his family, I also wanted that for him. I loved him enough to let him go and be happy.
We remained friends, but when he and his wife divorced our relationship eventually resumed.

Our friendship was really special. We laughed a lot. Mostly at each other and ourselves. Everyone felt that we were destined to be together, but things did not work out that way. Through the on and off love relationship as well as both of us getting married and then divorced, our friendship remained strong. We could talk about anything, from the details of intimacy, to politics, to the details of our childhood along with our dreams and fears. At that time there seemed to be a great deal of mutual respect and no judgment.

I know you are wondering as many have already; what happened, why didn't this have a happy ending. I was young and and some ways immature and my friend needed a woman that wasless independent. There was a happy ending, just not the one everyone expected.

An older woman once told me that it is a smart woman that knows how to be independent and dependent at the same time. Understanding that a man's nature is to provide for and protect what he deems to be in his care.

Well our friendship is starting to change at a time when I now understand what it means to be independent and dependent at the same time. My friend now seems to need a woman that is even more dependent than before; more dependent on him and less dependent on her self. I am not that woman.

I have become more dependent on myself than ever before. Not that I don't need anyone else, but I have learned to trust my feelings and my thoughts more than I have in the past.
We have grown in opposite directions. I guess this is what it means to grow apart.

The Rachel Zoe Project and My Daughter

2009-08-24T23:28:00.000-07:00

I just watched the first episode of the new season of The Rachel Zoe Project tonight and it is quite interesting. My daughter is in love with Rahel Zoe and also wants to be a stylist. She is not necessarily interested in being a stylist to the stars, even though it is quite lucrative. Her interests mostly lie within styling for photographers, sitcoms (TV), and/or costumes for the stage. She is not quite sure which direction she will take.
The amazing thing is that I don't watch reality TV, actually I don't watch much TV at all.
Now I am watching Rachel Zoe and Project Runway, all at the direction of my daughter. Whitney and I have a great relationship, and she is my baby and I want to and will support her in anything positive that she is interested in doing in her life. So I have been watching these shows and reading everything that interest her, so I will know how to support her.

I realize that the world of fashion is extremely chaotic, and it makes me anxious just watching it.

My daughter has always wanted to work behind the scenes. Years ago she thought of being a videographer and wanted to do music videos. A little while back she decided that she wanted to be in the fashion industry, again behind the scenes. This time she wants to dress those in the videos. I am really proud of her growth, because I can really see her doing this and loving it.

Kudos to you Whitney.

This is What You call Living Your life

2009-08-19T19:22:00.000-07:00

This is the way I would love to be when I grow up. I love her attitude and mostly why she is not afraid to live life the way she wants to.

This is the most inspirational thing that I have come across in a long time, and I love it.

Let The Jackson Family Heal

2009-08-10T23:21:00.000-07:00

Are you not tired of all of the media about Michael Jackson's death. I wish they would all just let it go and let that family heal. I watched the interview on Larry King with Jermaine Jackson and it really reminded me how the media sensationalizes everything. There is so much that the family does not know and also hear for the first time in the media. They are a family just like yours and mine that has suffered a great loss and just want time to come together as a family and handle their business.
I continue to keep them in my prayers, but I know that the media is not that gracious.

Walter Cronkite "Uncle Walt"

2009-07-18T09:24:00.000-07:00

Walter Cronkite was the voice that is etched in my head from the time that I was a little girl. The news was something that my family and many African Americans families tuned into about twice a day. This was our way of being aware of what was going on in our country. It was also the time of the civil rights movement with two of the most prominent and well loved figures of our history, Martin Luther King, Jr. and President John F. Kennedy. It was normal for African American families to gather in front of the television after dinner as a family to watch Walter Cronkite. He was trusted by our community to report fairly and truthfully what was happening during this time; the 60's. A time when African Americans were fighting so hard for racial equality in a country that brought us here, but wanted to keep up 2nd class citizens and less than human, segregated from those that thought of themselves as more human. Even at two years old I watched the news, and was told by my family that I was watching the day that President Kennedy was assassinated and called to them in the kitchen telling them that "President Kennedy was shot" and they came running. My mother says that I was talking before I was walking, and I have yet to slow down.

This was a time when families were still families, and they had dinner together and watched the news together, we all watched " Uncle Walt" because our parents and grandparents watched and trusted his reporting.

In 1940 Cronkite married Mary Maxwell, who was his wife for 65 years until her passing in 2005.

Walter Cronkite defined what it meant to be an anchorman.
The first radio news broadcast was in 1938 and the first television news broadcast was in 1948, but it was not until 1963 when the three largest networks, NBC, CBS and ABC extended their news coverage from 15 minutes to 30 minutes.

On March 6th, 1981 Walter Cronkite delivered his last news broadcast for CBS, and was replaced by Dan Rather.

Walter Cronkite will always be remember and we greatly appreciated his work.
photos taken from LA Times

Valley Club, Absolutely Unbelievable

2009-07-10T10:19:00.000-07:00

There is an ongoing debate on whether the day campers were turned away from The Valley Club because they were black and hispanic. These sentiments were verbalized by various adults surrounding the pool as they retrieve their own children from the now tainted environment. The debate should be what to do about this situation not whether it happened or not. Some of these kids were in tears, from shear disbelief and from the fact that there were adults not accepting them because of the color of their skin.

We so often don't want to believe that these things are still happening in such a developed world, but hatred is very much alive, and racism is merely a form of this hatred. We see this in the media all of the time, just look at the frenzy surrounding Michael Jackson, O.J. Simpson, and many other people of color.
This is why it is so important for us as African- Americans to build strong families and a strong communities to safeguard our young children and give them the strength and foundation necessary to help them cope with what they may have to endure in their lives. We need to own more of what we use, and this is what I truly admire about the Tyler Perry's and Ervin 'Magic' Johnsons of our time.
Our children experienced this hatred in the 50's and 60's but this fifty years later and our children are still feeling the pain of discrimination. If law suits are necessary then so be it, but use the award to build a beautiful community center where these children have a beautiful pool where the various day camps can go and not feel the humiliation, but a senses of pride.

Still Controversial after Death

2009-07-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

It amazes me how Michael Jackson is still such a controversial figure. Why is it necessary to know who are the biological parents of his adopted children, when in many cases we have gone to great lengths to conceal this exact information.

Whether he chose not to use his sperm because of fear of passing on his genetic misfortune to his children or he wanted to create his own children is nothing different than what many others do. Science is even to the point where you are able to chose the gender of your child if you chose. Why does it matter? He is legally thier father and that is all that matters. He is the only parent that they know and they certain appear to be happy well adjusted and very bright children.

Why is it important if he bleached his skin because he wanted to be lighter or he had undergone some medical procedure for vitiligo. He had the money and the connections to do what ever it is that he chose to do. It is no different than many others bleaching their skin, changing their nose, breast implant, calf implants, etc.

Who is to say that his life was strange? By whose standards? Why are we always imposing our standards on others? It is just sickening how this is all playing out.

Bill O'Reilly and Dr. Marc Lamont Hill, Ph.D. debates the racial issues in reference to Michael Jackson. As usual O'Reilly doesn't let a person disagree with him on his show even though he calls them on to debate an issue.
It appears when it comes to people of color there are always racial issues, and as Dr. Hill says, it is not always racism, but always racial.

I will leave you a post by a blogger for The Root, by Jimi Izrael, entitled, Now He's Home.
This post is beautifully written and were my exact sentiments of familiarity of MJ's memorial service. Even though I was not there and merely watching it on television as were millions of others, the tone and the program was so much like many I had been to, just on a grander scale.

Michael Jackson Will Never Be Forgotten

2009-06-25T19:44:00.000-07:00

Gone Too Soon by Michael Jackson

The news of Michael Jackson's death traveled faster than the speed of light. It was reported that text messages were sent at a rate of 65,000 per second all across the world.

People were gathering at UCLA hospital, his star on Hollywood Blvd. his family home in Encino, California, his present residence in Holmby Hills, California, the Apollo Theatre in New York City, and many many other places around the globe. The people are in shock and are very sad at the news of his death. The television programming came to a hault with breaking news of his death, and there was no more regular programming on most channels for the rest of the day.

I started this post on the day of his death but it is now three days later and there are still some cable channels that are running his videos all day long. For at least two consecutive days the television has been dominated by Michael Jackson, his life, his legacy, and unfortunately his troubles. I learned things while being glued to the television that I didn't know, and the one thing that resonates the most is that Michael is in the Guiness Book of World Records for contributing to the most charities of any celebrity. He gave millions of dollars to 39 charities. He donated his five million dollars earned on the Victory Tour to three different charities. This was the concert of the century

Michael not only made his mark as the King of Pop, but also as a Humanitarian. He broke color barriers around the world, he brought issues of inhumane practices around the world to the forefront,i,e, homelessness, hunger, sickness, and AIDS, and he spent a great deal of his time and money to help eradicate these issues for as many as he could. His favorite of all was sick children. He spent a great deal of his own money paying hospital bills of terminally ill children as well as helping their families, and granting the wishes of these children. Many of these children only wished to meet him, and that he did and more. He truly made the world a better place.

This was a great man that gave so much of himself to people of all races, of all colors, of all religions, and of all nationalities, and unfortunately he got a lot of dirt kicked in his face. There are many that are grateful for all of the sacrifices that he has made to be who he was.

It is hard to know where to start. Just remembering when I first saw The Jackson 5 on the Ed Sullivan Show when I was a little girl. The first concert they had in Savannah, Georgia when I was 12 years old and how my mother made my dress and I wore my first Afro. I took pictures of this concert with my instamatic camera and they were moving so fast on that stage that the picture came out a colorful blur. When I talked to Michael on the phone the next day after the concert, because he was staying at the Desoto Hilton, and I knew someone that worked there that put me through. How my bedroom was covered in posters of Michael and the Jackson 5. How I knew the words to every song, by stopping the record many times to write them down. This was before the days when they published the lyrics. When there were many neighborhood kids starting singing groups to be the next Jackson 5. It was an amazing time, and I didn't believe that it could get any more amazing, but little did I know. That this little fellow would later become the biggest thing the music industry has ever seen.

As he grew so did his message to the world. Some of these messages were of his loneliness and pain, and often addressed to those that continued to conflict this pain upon him. Then there were those beautiful messages that appeal to the heart, that appealed to all of mankind, to right the wrongs in this world. He challenged us to be kinder to one another, to reach out to those that needed us, to speak for those that had no voice, to just be HUMAN. He was a man that felt deeply the pain of others, because he felt deeply his own pain. I have learned when you are one that feels the hurt of what is going on in the world it becomes heavy and that heaviness often times becomes physical. His music was the only thing that made him happy, truly happy. Michael enjoyed children not only because he missed out on his own childhood, but because of their innocence, they were not tainted by hatred and prejudice, they experienced pure joy from life and that is always what he wanted to be around. That too made him a target for those that harbored hatred and greed.

Michael Jackson's Humanitarian Efforts 1979-2003

I want to thank Michael for what he gave to the world, for the joy he has given me in growing up in the same generation as he did, therefore allowing me to grow with him. Michael Joe Jackson, you are truly loved by many all over the world and you will be missed.

May You Rest in Peace my brother!

Update

July 7, 2009

Today was the memorial of Michael Joseph Jackson and it was the most touching thing that I have ever seen. It was beautifully done and it most definitely showed the world the human side of MJ, and that is something the world needed to see. Even though he was greatly loved by his fans for his music, but many never saw him with his family or his family with him. Today they got to see MJ as a child of God, a son, a brother, an uncle, a father, and a friend.
I never knew that the passing of a man that I didn't personally know would effect me the way that it has, but it has. I believe that God gave MJ not just the gift of music, but also the gift of love. The gift, as Brooks Shield put it, to see with his heart. It must have been a beautiful thing just to know him, I am thankful to know him from afar, and thankful to live in this time when he was (A) Present.

Michael Jackson's children

Children of the Street

2009-06-20T11:34:00.001-07:00

photo by Kimberley Miles
"Children of the Streets. They're there but no one notices them....."

It is amazing how many of our children are living on the streets in this country. You read about this in many poor underdeveloped countries, but you never think about it being in your own backyard. It is sad to think of this happening anywhere, but it is frightening to think of it happening here in America. A place where so many come for opportunities to better their lives and the lives of their families both here and abroad.

There is a story that I read just this morning in the Los Angeles Times about Khadijah Williams who has been homeless her entire childhood and now she is off on a full scholarship to Harvard University. As much as this is a wonderful success story, there are quite a few things that few of us see. Her transition from the streets of California to the Ive League halls of Harvard along side so many privileged young people. There is no doubt that she can stay focused on her studies, because she has proven that in the worst situations, but what does she internalize in order to keep that focus. Then there is the situation with not knowing the whereabouts and well being of the two people that she loves the most, her mother and her younger sister. How much guilt will she feel for leaving them behind, and especially if anything happens to them, or if her sister's life turns out much different than hers. This is a story that I would love to follow and watch her in this transition, her growth and the demons that she has to slay along the way. We can just hope and pray that she will be ok, and when the time comes that she is able to help her mother and her sister that it is not too late.

Update
Oprah has gotten a hold of this story and tells more of what her life has been like since starting Harvard. You can check it out here.

American Bondage

2009-06-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

It has been known for sometime that Americans love to own stuff, and the more stuff there is the more stuff we want to own. The weirdest thing about this is that once we acquire the stuff, the thrill is over. This type of bondage has dominated most of my life. It was actually when I went back to school and moved in with my parents that I realized that I could live with a great deal less than I thought possible. I chose to move in with my parents because I didn't want to work full time and attend school part time, knowing how long this process could be. I wanted to make this happen as quickly as possible. So going to school full time was the only thing I could do and that included summers. I also wanted to make the process as painless as possible, not my pain but my daughter's pain. Finding a way that would not disrupt her life anymore than necessary. I knew that if I went back to school full time and worked full time, then parenting would take a backseat. This was not an option for me, not even for a short time. The time that it was going to take for me to earn my degree was going to take a few years. I was not willing to sacrifice her, but I was willing to sacrifice stuff.
When I made this decision, I was up against a great deal of resistance, but I was determined. I had to put all of my stuff in storage. The antique furniture that I had been collecting, the beautiful china, and antique dishes, all of the dolls my daughter had been collecting with her grandmother, and the three closets of designer clothes and shoes that defined me. That was heartbreaking.
After enrolling in school and getting involved in all that was put before me, with the determination an tunnel vision that I equipped myself with, that heartbreak became less and less. I was excelling quite rapidly in school, I was a full time student, a full time mother of a 12 year old girl, and now a member of the honor society that just happened to be featured in the school's campaign for non-traditional students. My face was now plastered all over the newspapers in this campaign, in brochures, and college fairs. All of this happened without the the stuff that use to be so very important to me. So life was lighter and freer, and I was able to soar.
This type of thing also happens when we clean out our houses, our minds, our debts, and our hearts. Sometimes getting rid of the house that sucks our resources, the constant wants that sucks our energy and eventually our money, and then our energy again. It becomes a cycle that we become painfully comfortable with. A cycle that becomes easier to live within than it is to move away from.
Many Americans are being stripped of these tangible possessions in today's economy, and they are discovering that there is a great deal that they are able to live without. Americans are becoming grateful for their loved ones and good health, and with that they are able to attain all that they need and want. The difference now is that their wants are have evolved. Instead of things, they are wanting peace of mind and simple happiness with those that are the most important to them. Through this many will not go back to the way they use to live, because what they value in life is different. They will not go back to the credit card debt, to robbing Peter to pay Paul, the buying more house than they need or can afford, or the keeping up with the Jones. By being stripped by all of these possessions they will discover themselves, who they are , what they want from this life, and what they value the most, and these possessions will no longer be necessary to show the world who they are. However, there are a number of people that is going to jump right back into that frying pan, and there is a part of me that understands why. For some, the pain of change is unbearable and bondage is all that they know.

Los Angeles Parade: Celebrating the Lakers Win

2009-06-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while watching the local news the topic at the moment was the Laker's Championship Parade to be held in city of Los Angeles. They were discussing the costs involved in putting on this display of support for this highly esteemed basketball team. The Lakers has contributed 1 million dollars to this effort but there is over a million dollars still needed to make sure that this even is nothing short of what the fans and the team expects.
There has been an effort to cut back on these expenses and shorting the parade route was one way to do that.
Mayor Villaraigosa has been soliciting private donations to cover the city's possible expense for the celebratory event and says that he has raised several hundred thousand dollars. He knows the people would be outraged if he were to spend city's money on this event when there are so many people out of work, so many programs being cut, the threat of teacher layoffs, the insistence of government employees taking furloughs, as well as the enormous deficit that is at the forefront of the minds of those mostly effected.
I became irate at the thought of the city paying any of the taxpayers monies for this celebration. Any type of celebration is a welcome distraction and is actually needed to uplift the spirit of so many that are effected by our present economic situation, both as a city and as a country, but the idea of the city even paying a dine for this was just more than I could wrap my head around. It is a relief to know that this city and its officials are not insensitive.

Update: Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The mayor came through. All of the monies that the city would have paid for the parade today is being taken care of by the business community. Americans come through again for their own.

The Promise

2009-04-26T19:29:00.000-07:00

I am just so exhausted by my inherent impulse to look for the good in people. Some people don't have enough good within to be seen by the human eye or the human heart. Maybe only God can see their worth, or maybe it is just not meant for one to see.

Forget people. But I love people. At times I believe my consistent and subconscious quest for the good in people is a curse, but maybe it is not a curse, maybe it is a blessing. It could be a blessing for the other person although quite painful to me, but it could possibly be a blessing for me.

Maybe this is why I find a real passion in photojournalism. I want to believe that regardless of the many heinous acts committed by some, that there is more to them than their actions. There are those that kill people but love animals; they have no respect for life, but they recycle. I don't know. Many will think that I am reaching here, and maybe I am, but what makes me want to reach, what makes me want to believe in people, "by any means necessary".
If this was a curse I would surely be bitter by now, but I am not bitter. My heart wont let me become bitter or God wont let me. So maybe it is a gift and God is waiting for the time when I am prepared, when I am ready, when I am not so emotional but purely passionate. I feel like I am on the path but I have not yet reached the promise. So hopefully God will ease some of the pain, some of the frustration, some of the uneasiness, and some of the ambiguity of this pilgrimage. I definitely want to embrace this mission and every step taken, because I want to reach The Promise, that now only flashes before me.

What is this promise?

The promise of peace and happiness that is there once one finds their true passion in life. Once one finds their purpose on this earth. Once one finds their way to serve others.
A settling of the soul.

March 29th - My Birthday

2009-04-03T20:29:00.000-07:00

Well I am another year older, March 29th was my birthday. I had already planned a road trip for my birthday, but couldn't go until the weekend of April 10th. I am going to have four days to drive up Pacific Coast Hwy from Los Angeles to San Francisco, which I hear is an absolutely beautiful drive. I am really looking forward to it all. Fortunate enough I was off on my birthday and so I decided to drive out to Santa Monica. I fell in love with Santa Monica the moment I came to live in California. There are a few areas there together, Venice is just a little further down Ocean Ave. and then there is also Marina Del Rey.
I had read some time ago that about this gentleman named Abbot Kinney who is considered the father of Venice, California. He had a dream of making the area "Venice of America", patterned after Venice, Italy along with canals, gondolas, a pier and ferris wheel.
I am not that happy with the photos that was taken that day and intend to go back at different times of day and night until I get the shots that I am happy with.

When do you fight, how do you fight?

2009-03-18T00:03:00.000-07:00

There are so many injustices in this world until it is hard to know where to start. One would think that you would start in your own backyard, and I have a few issues there that I could definitely address and they would benefit many others as well. Then there are those injustices, like cut back in education that are taking place in California, that are just unthinkable. So where do you start? Yes you can take on a couple of things at a time, but then there is the time required and the research necessary to start to address these issues. Yes I could probably figure out where to start but where do I find the time to start.
Collectively, the average working person was able to override the political machine and elect a man to the highest office in this country, who was not the forerunner. This makes me believe that we can do anything together. We need to continue this fight because President Obama is not going to make this all happen alone, and he is not going to be able to do all through the Executive Office. As he has said many times, we need to get together and continue to fight, continue to make our voices and desires heard.
Today I was able to watch the town hall meeting that President Obama held in Costa Mesa, California, and behold, there was a teacher in the audience to ask the necessary questions in reference to the cutbacks in education. She has been teaching for over 20 years and received a pink slip last week. She also told of another teacher in the same district, an Urban district, who had received the Teacher of the Year Award and was also given a pink slip. Can anyone see the problem here. I was under the impression from watching the news last week when there were a number of teachers gathering with picket signs in various parts of Los Angeles that it was mostly the newer teachers that were receiving these pink slips, not that this is acceptable, but veteran teachers. This is something that just tells me that our education system is just business as usual. The business of getting rid of the teachers that are making the higher salaries and hiring newer teachers at a much lower rate. I do believe that our education systems need fresh ideas and change, but the the teacher of the year. She is obviously doing something right. President Obama stated that most of the money in the stimulus package was for retaining teachers, as well as upgrading the infrastructure, but most was for retention. This particular teacher that addressed President Obama also expressed that the average number of students in a classroom was 36 to 44 students. It is impossible for one teacher to teach that many students when the students have various skill levels. There needs to be a major overhaul of the education system because it is obviously not working and has not worked for at least 25 or more years. This needs immediate attention just like the economy and the health care system in this country.

Now where and when do we start to make enough noise about our education system, how it is effecting our future and our present. How we are presenting another generation of people that are not going to be equipped to run this country, keeps it's promises, and propel it into the next century.

The Not Perfect but Wonderful Barack Obama and Family

2009-03-05T23:10:00.000-08:00

President Obama is to me more than an extraordinary man, I am still sittiing around with my mouth open in awe of what I see in him, in his wife Michelle, and even their two beautiful daughters. They are what an American Family should be. This couple have genuine love, admiration, adoration, and mutual respect for each other. They are just a pleasure to watch together and equally as inspiring when they are going about their individual tasks. They are determined to make the White House the peoples house and in only 6 weeks in, they are doing just that. They are inviting the ordinary man into their home, especially children, to see what their lives are like, as oppose to just reading about it. President Obama is also doing everything he can to keep the American public aware of what he is doing in his administration.
Of course there are many critics and many that will pick apart the President and his administration. That is to be expected because the more he reveal of himself the more these critics are going to attack him. I know that I will not agree with everything that he does or attempts to do as President, but watching this man at work and his comfort level in this position makes me believe that he was born to fill these shoes.
I am obviously a supporter and a fan, and hoping the day will come when I can return to the ground from my elevated state and close my mouth from being awe struck by what is taking place in my lifetime. The excitement continues.

My Bike Ride

2009-02-20T17:11:00.000-08:00

Today I decided that I was going to get back on my bicycle and start working out again. I had it tuned up at the bike shop and took it for a test ride the other day and I was ready. It was a great to feel the sun and wind on my face. I decided to take on the bike path that is near my house and one of the stops along the trail is a place called Lake Balboa. I decided today I was going to ride through this park and it was beautiful. At one point I took a wrong turn after passing the golf course and ended up in an area where there was a flyers club. I first hear all of this buzzing above my head after looking up, I immediately thought there were kids with some remote control air planes, then I saw the flyers club sign and saw a scattered group of middle age men. They were the ones flying the planes and they looked really happy with themselves. This was the moment that I wished I had my camera, but of course I didn't. It still amazes me that people are still fascinated with the simple things in life.
I remember my Uncle Smithy who loved playing golf more than anything. I never understood the fascination with hitting a little ball and being out in the middle of no where. It was not until I sponsored a corporate golf tournament and was out on the green driving the golf cart that I got it. Being one with nature was so hypnotizing. It was not the hitting the ball alone , but where you were while hitting the ball. In the middle of green grass, beautiful trees, birds singing and the Peace, this was all addictive. Needless to say I started playing golf, and I even have my Uncle's clubs now that he is teeing off on the big green in the sky. It is definitely a game that requires a great deal of patience, not to mention a little bit of money. I have not played in awhile now, but I still have his clubs and can go and enjoy this game with a friend that is in love with golf.

Food and Fitness

2009-02-19T18:08:00.000-08:00

It has been some time since I have posted anything here. I have been working a great deal lately so everything has been put on the back burner. I am going to try to do better because I do enjoy writing this blog as well as the others.

Lately I have been doing research on eating well. I have always been a pretty good eater and love good food, but I have been trying to learn the right foods to eat to give my aging body what it needs to stay healthy. Learning the right combinations of foods as well as the healthiest way to prepare these foods. I have also started juicing and it has made a great deal of difference in how I feel daily. It is mostly trial and error to find out how often to juice and what to juice. Your body will tell you what works for sure if you pay attention.
I have also started a yoga program, but have not been doing this part as often as I would like to. I am steadily trying to work all of this around my work schedule, which has increased. Again, this is all trial and error. I have even gone to a Chinese herbalist to help with the symptoms of perimenopause, and I must say that it has been quite helpful. All of this is a process, so I am trying to take the time to learn what works for me and what does not. I really want to incorporate this all into my daily life in order to make it a permanent part of my routine. This is why I am doing just a little at a time.
I have discovered some really good recipes on line for various foods as well as juicing. This has been a great deal of fun, and I will keep you posted on what I learn.

Peacefulness

2009-01-16T00:48:00.000-08:00

2009 has brought some wonderful changes to my life. It has brought an end to a great deal of things that I had been struggling with for the past four or more years. Growth is often painful as well as change, but there has been a great deal of good that has come from my struggle. The growth is phenomenal as well as the peace that I feel because of change. There are also a few changes that I am working on such as nutrition and yoga/meditation. The latter I have not quite incorporated yet, but the nutrition has been fun. There is still a great deal more to learn, but I am reading several books on nutrition simultaneously. I have started juicing which is something that I love thus far, all except the clean up.

The Spirit of Christmas

2008-12-23T11:16:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of my daughter Whitney with Santa at 20 months old.

Christmas is here again and it brings with it a great deal of change for a great deal of families. The economy will force some to be more creative for Christmas and others will feel a great deal of pain. Using this time to count your blessings is the best thing that one can do, because if you have life and health, you are truly blessed and have the chance to once again accumulate stuff. More than likely, accumulating stuff will become less and less important, other than the stuff that you need to be comfortable in this life; and many will do with out those for now. America has come back from the Great Depression and we will again recover from this economic down turn.

The meaning of Christmas started to change for me many years ago when my daughter was about six years old. We had been living in Atlanta, Georgia and I had been laid off from my job at MCI about five months before, forcing me to move my young daughter back to Savannah, Ga. to live with my parents. Well that move was a strain on all involved. Seeing the disappointment in my parents eyes was extremely painful, but something I had become accustomed to. In the early days of December I ran into an old friend that was now a psychologist and shared and office with another psychologist in a beautiful old house in Thunderbolt that faced the water. She invited me and my daughter to a Christmas party that they were having at their office for many of their patients and their families who either had no family or were away from family for various reasons. I decided to go and she said the only requirement was to bring a Christmas ornament for the tree and a potluck dish. This party was taking place on Christmas eve and it was quite cold that night, but the sky was clear. I was in a house full of people that I didn't know, where we decorated the tree, chained popcorn, laughed, talked, and ate all sort of food. After the kids chose a present from a grab bag, we were all going caroling through the neighborhood, and the smallest kids road in the back of an old pickup truck with wooden railings, filled with hay. We walked from door to door singing, badly I might add. The people came outside to greet us with hot chocolate and candy canes for the kids. It was the first time that I had done anything like this, but it was the most wonderful experience. I was with people whom I didn't know until that night and have not seen since. But there was a beautifully warm connection of peace and love like I had never felt before. It really restored my faith in people and love. I then realized that blood didn't equate to family, that you can have the sense of family with perfect strangers. I know it was only one night, just like you have chance meetings with people on the street, but that immediate connection, warmth, and acceptance you feel is something you carry with you through out your life.

This experience showed me that Christmas was not about shopping for that hat and scarf, sweater, or whatever gift you are buying for friends and family, it is mostly about what is on the inside than what is on or for the outside. That Christmas warmed my heart and has remained apart of me, and to me that is what Christmas is really about, that is the true spirit of Christmas. As each Christmas comes and goes, I want less and less of that tradition my family has created, which was wonderful for many years, but things have changed and I want to change with it. It has become about giviing of yourself instead of giving of stuff. Oh yeh, I know that giving of stuff can also be memorable, when someone gets something that they have been wanting for sometime, a new car, a new baby, a marriage proposal, etc., but most of these things are also for the heart. Most things that are purchased and put in a box are not. Christmas has also been a time of great loss for some and reconnection for others. It is important for us to reconnect to what is important in our lives and celebrate that. Always!

17.4 Million Dollar Emergency Loans to Only Two Auto Companies.

2008-12-20T09:43:00.000-08:00

This is a first for me, but I applaud President Bush's decision to bailout GM and Chrysler on Friday. Chrysler is a privately owned company and after the parent company has dumped millions into its struggling entity, it decided no more. I don't blame them for not wanting to continually dump good money after bad, but I do blame them for allowing all of this bad decision making by the top executives to continue. The liquidation of these companies would have destroyed the American economy and many hard working American people with it. Even though most of their demise is from their not following the trends of today or merely listening to its consumers, these are decisions of a few, that would destroy the lives of many. It was important to give them a chance to make things better. It was a surprising decision of this administration to, for once, look after the interest of its people. This is mostly because of the outcry from many politicians to do something to help the people of this country and stop putting the business sector first, allowing them to continuously exploit its workers and its consumers.
Gratefully so, this decision came with quite a few restraints on the auto companies, which were completely necessary. Bush's decision was very much in line with the plan proposed in Congress earlier in the week that met with strong Republican opposition, who believe that the companies should go bankrupt. Even Bush, a Republican, believed that under ordinary circumstances these companies should not be bailed out by the government and should be allowed to fail. That is one Republican view that I agree with. Unfortunately, these are not ordinary circumstances, they are extraordinary ones, and to keep the economy from completely spiraling out of control, Bush is giving these companies a chance to restructure and help themselves with a short term loans. The way that this differs from Congress is that the money Bush is using comes from the 700 billion dollars already set aside by Congress for the financial markets as opposed to the 25 billion previously set aside for the auto makers in the plans to update the auto industry, with more fuel efficient cars, alternate fueled cars, and possibly electric cars.
This also holds the roof up long enough for the new administration to come in and make some decisions as oppose to having to undo one more thing, or shovel up one more pile of Bush dung, Making Obama look even more like the House Negro.

Economic Recession

2008-12-06T20:19:00.000-08:00

It amazes me that our government is so out of touch with the people that they govern, they don't have a clue when we are suffering until things start to fall down around their own ankles. We have been in a recession for well over a year with unemployment at 6.7 % and over a million jobs lost this year alone. Last week they officailly announced that this country was in a recession, what do you think was the clue for them.
Did they think by not acknowledging the true state of this economy would not make it so. How did our government get so out of touch with the people. It is not just the executive branch of government, which you almost expect to be out of touch, but our legislative branch is something you want to believe is still in touch with it's constituents. That is why it is designed the way that it is. There are two senators that are voted from each state, but the House consists of 435 representatives taking a specific number from each state according to the population of that state. Most of these representatives are people living in the communities of which they represent. So how is it that after a short time rubbing elbows with power perceived in politics they soon forget why they are there. Their personal agenda immediately takes precedence and they never look back. I don't understand how they look themselves in the mirror once they start to sell out those who believed in them and worked so hard to get them elected. I truly believe that the day does come when they look in the mirror and not even recognize their own reflections, they see something totally different. Just like a person who suffers from eating disorders. They will be skin and bone, weighing a mere 75 pounds and on the brink of death, but what they see when they look in the mirror is someone overweight and unattractive. This is in serious contrast to what many politician see when they look in the mirror. Even when they have lost sight of what they were elected for and what promises they have made to get the majority votes, they see something larger than life, something beautiful to them, what they can become or what they want to become. They don't recognize GREED when they see it, and as time goes on that reflection, of which they don't presently recognize, becomes even more obscure.

I waited a few days before posting this to see just what congress would possibly put together for this bailout of the auto industry, because on the wall street bailout they just wrote a blank check. This time there is a two edge sword, the working class could lose either way, either through losing millions of jobs that would possibly put us into a depression; and as a taxpayer, that is going to bailout private industry that we have watched make bad decisions for the past 20-30 years. Decisions that didn't take into account the needs of the working class, of the average American. The need for less dependency on foreign oil and a way to use alternative energy sources, leaving less carbons in the air' that lists goes on.
Well I am surprised and equally elated about the bailout legislation that is being proposed. In the New York Times today there was a bit of an overview of what Congress had been working on so hard this weekend. The two things that radiated with me more than anything was the part of the legislation that states that the three automakers will not be able to own or lease private jets during the time the government loans are outstanding and that the top level executives will not receive any bonuses nor the stockholders any dividends during this time the loans are outstanding. Now this is the beginning of a real bailout. The first time that I have every taken note of politicians looking out for the working class, where the majority of taxes are generated.

It is a new day America, and I am glad that I am around to see it.

CNN Heros

2008-11-27T21:55:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving night I watched CNN Heroes and it was something inspiring. It is amazing the compassion and the love that is in the heart and souls of so many everyday people. So we are not all consumed by the economy and how we are going to make it through these tough times, there are also those who are consumed with what they can do to help others through these tough times. We all know that regardless of what we are going through in this life, there are just so many more people that are suffering even more than you are. I have always heard that helping others is food for the soul.

About four years ago, I had a bad feeling, it was more of a profound feeling that things in my life were going to spiral downhill and during that time I was going to be stripped of something that was going to prepare me for something else. Well my life did spiral out of control and there was nothing that I could do about it. Emotionally it was harder than anything that I have ever experienced. Somehow through it all, I would always see a bright light, something positive, a person reaching out to me, a person that was a total stranger would give me a hug, and sometimes only a smile. Some how it was always there, and I guess that kept me going. I believe that God has a special job for me and I also feel that I am on the right path to be of service to others. My needs and wants have been put on the back burner, actually what I want and believe I need has become less and less. It seems like what I desire more of these days is to give, to give of myself, to give of my time, and to give of my heart. It was just recently that I had another profound feeling that this burden that I have had for the past four years was about to be lifted, and I would blossom into something that has always been within. I guess I had to be stripped of the fear, the fear of giving without receiving or feeling the need of acceptance by others, especially family and close friends. Through all of this humility resonates and that is a wonderful feeling. I have been compelled to do some charitable work, but I am a little selective in what I want to do. First of all it has to be something where I can see the direct benefit to others, nothing that goes through too many hands. I wanted it to be something that helps women and children, especially young women. I wanted it to be something that I am committed to, not just on holidays or special occasions, but something that was on going, and has a direct effect on people's lives.

Well I have not found that one thing yet, but honestly I have not been looking really hard. I have been trying to get myself in place both physically and emotionally, and now I feel like the cloud of smoke is lifting and it is time for me to emerge.
I have been so blessed. God has always put kind and generous people in my path. As I drive the bus everyday, there is always someone buying me breakfast, bringing me fruit, coffee, books, and many other things, but most of all they are constantly thanking me for what they perceive as acts of kindness. One girl actually said to me, " Thank you for being so kind to your passengers" That is my reward, the appreciation and the return kindness of others. I often thank God for His putting certain people in my path, and ask him if there is anything that I am doing to attract so many warm and loving people into my life, I want to keep on doing that and actually I want to do more of it. That has always been my prayer, and one day I was told on my bus, that I attract certain kinds of people because of the kind of person that I am. But it is the kind of person that I am becoming through the love and guidance of the Great Master. Don't worry I am not taking myself too seriously, but I can see the growth, that is why I think that I am on the right path to be of service to others. I am not going to lie and say I don't absolutely love how people respond to me, and the feeling I get when I am kind and considerate to others, and their appreciation of that kindness. I find it so much easier than not being kind, now that takes so much more energy.
I hope to find something that becomes a passion for me, something that impacts others lives, something that I can only give in a way that I can only give it. I feel that I am getting closer to that point in my life, and I am grateful.

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Richard Timothy Jones

2008-11-14T17:42:00.000-08:00

Another celebrity siting right in my own neighborhood. Two blocks from my house here in San Fernando Valley is this great Asian supermarket as well as an Asian herb shop. When I was about to enter the grocery part of the store, Richard Jones was exiting the herb shop. He walked out right in front of me wearing athletic gear and a baseball cap. I said hello to him and he said hello, then I asked him if thought I would mnot recognize him, and he just laughed. I then noticed that he was limping and I asked him if he was ok, and he just said that it was a football injury, so I started to tease him telling him that he is an actor and getting a little bit older so he is going to have to give up playing football with the kids. He just laughed and said ok. I then told him that he looks well and he thanked me for the compliment. I told him to take care of himself, and he said "thank you again." It was a very friendly exchange and much appreciated by a fan. Yes he is just as handsome in person as he is on television, but his personality shown brighter than his smile, which was beautiful.

I so often have to remind myself that I am in a city where a great deal of these people live and work, and it is always exciting to run into them on the street, and most often they are quite friendly.

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Wake Up Everybody

2008-11-13T14:37:00.000-08:00

This is a video that I am very proud to show, because we all have something to give. Many artist and celebrities are supporting Barack Hussein Obama, because we all know that this country needs a change for all people. Just like these artist, just do what you do to make a change. This video is beautiful. Actually it is urging all to get out and vote on Nov. 4th.

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Jesse Jackson, Jr., Not His Father

2008-11-09T21:05:00.000-08:00

This young man is something to watch. I have recently noticed his intelligence and dedication throughout Barack's presidential campaign, and he is a pleasure to see. I have never been too fond of his father, therefore, I had no interest in the son. He is more like Barack than he is his father. I am very impressed with the young black leaders of today They are well educated, intelligent, family oriented, and rooted in the black community. Most importantly they realize the importance of the "We". They realize that we live in a much more diverse America, the backgrounds of the people are more diverse, our neighborhoods are more diverse, and one person's ethnicity is more diverse, and they are no longer willing to choose one ethnicity over the other. Those people who have one parent of one ethnicity and another parent of another ethnicity are tired of feeling that they don't belong and that they have to identify with one part of them over the other. Tiger Woods made this clear during his rise in the golf world, and Barak is making it clear now. They maybe rooted in the black community because of how the world sees them, but they no longer want to have to choose. This is the new America. As a people we are reaching out to other cultures, learning their language and how to cook their food, we are diverse, and we want a leadership that understands that, and one that will bridge the gap. We have now brought together people of all cultural backgrounds and now Barack's next responsibility is to bridge the socio-economic gap, and he has decided to start by taking care of the middle class. As the middle class Americans rise, we will bring along the lower middle-class, and this gap that was made larger by the Bush Administration will start to close.
It is a beautiful thing to watch.
Barack Obama is our first Black President of the United States, but I don't think that he is going to be the last; Jesse Jackson, Jr. also has what it takes. He is already pegged the Congressman most likely to take Barack's abandoned Senate seat, and will one day take an abandoned presidential seat. You do your thing young brother.

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The Greatest Historical Event of My Lifetime

2008-11-04T10:22:00.000-08:00

Barack Hussein Obama, II has reached the mountaintop and he is taking the middle class with him. This man has a great deal of hard work ahead of him, and believe me I am not in the least bit envious, but I am so proud of him. There are few words to explain what Black Americans are feeling during this time, all you have been able to see around the country, are tears. Just as people of all races have been moved by Martin Luther King, Jr. they have most recently been just as moved by Barack Obama.
I keep hearing that there is just something special about this man. His demeanor and charisma is just contagious and we are feeling it through and through. The way people rallied around this man was more than just his oratorical abilities, his charm and good looks, or even his obvious intelligence and good judgment. Innumerable amounts of people of varied backgrounds gathered just to hear him, just to see him, just to occupy the same space where this feeling of hope radiates, it is almost biblical. He ignited a crusade of unflagging enthusiasm and many believe that this man was appointed by God, just as King was, and that is why so many are willing to follow him in a time when politicians have proven incessantly corrupt.
President Elect Obama has stated that this was not his victory, but the victory of the American people who have spoken. We have said, we no longer want the government of yesteryear, we want and need something different, something new, something fresh, and we have elected a man into the highest office of the land to lead us there. We now realize that our voices have been heard and only collectively can we restore this country.
To Black America, it means so very much more. It shows us that what our parents have told us over and over again is true, that with hard work and perseverance we can achieve anything. We no longer have an excuse for why we are not as progressive as we should be. We can no longer say that "the white man" is holding us back. Yes racism is still alive and well, but we are actually our biggest obstacle. Yes we have made a great deal of progress but there is so much more that we need to do, and the most important thing now is to be our brother's keeper. We need to reach out for our bothers and sisters, and collectively we can make such a difference. Again this election of our 44th President is proof.

In the past few years I have seriously considered leaving this country in search of something better. I no longer wanted to live in a country where the more money you earned the more you were forced to spend. I was in search of some peace and simple living, believing that there had to be something better, somewhere where the quality of life matters. Life in America began to look quite bleak to me, and I was just not willing to live the rest of my life in the same manner of which I have lived my past life. The cost of living had become so ridiculously expensive until it was paralyzing. It didn't matter whether I was financially capable or not, it would eventually require more. I no longer wanted to reach for the perceived beauty of things for that immediate gratification.
I yearn for a simple life with purpose, a life with joy, without creating enormous debt. I first started with self, re-evaluating what was really important to me, what I needed and what I didn't need. Minimizing the stuff around me became liberating. Barack has restored the promise of America to so many like myself, the belief that anything is possible, that you can actually reach your full potential, you can choose your own path, and for that I am grateful. I do realize that this promise does not come without individual sacrifice. For the first time I am very happy and very proud to be an American, where my voice count, where my needs matter, where I can make a difference. This is a pivotal point in the American story and I am elated to be able to take part in such a euphoric time in this country.
I intend to follow Obama's Administration closer than I have ever done with any other, I don't want to miss a thing. I am hoping that many others feel the same. Yes he will make mistakes and he will not be able to save us, but he gives us Hope, and with that inspiration, we will gain the strength to save ourselves.

Mr. President you and your family will be in my prayers daily.

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Black America Will Rise

2008-11-03T20:17:00.000-08:00

Today after talking to my daughter on my cell phone, she sent me a forwarded text message. This message reads,

Rosa sat so Martin could walk,
Martin walked so Obama could run,
Obama is running, so Our Children can Fly.

this speaks volumes to me.
Obama said something at one of his campaign rallies, that someone had said to him, "when you get tired of all that you are doing, just reach way down deep, and keep fighting." This means a great deal because so many before us was able to do just that. If they had not, then Obama would not be in the position that he is in right now. There are so many people that broke through numerous barriers and suffered more than some of us can even imagine, and they found the strength to keep fighting because it was for a cause much greater than themselves. This is why it is so important for Black America to come together as a people now, for the first time since slavery, and rally behind our brother Barack. We need to work together, help each other, pull ourselves up and a brother or sister with us. We need to elevate each other, forget our differences, forget the negatives that divide us, we have proven to be a strong people, a resilient people, an innovative people, and together we would be more powerful than we know. We need to get involved in our communities, help our elderly and our children. Volunteer consistently in our communities, whether it is cleaning the streets, painting an elderly persons house, tutoring our children so that they are better equipped to pursue higher education and compete in this society. Take the time, because usually that is all that is necessary, and we are our brother's keeper.
Stop tearing each other down verbally, physically, and spiritually. Parents raise your children, and if you don't know how, find out how. The Black Church has always been our source of strength, and there are many out there to help, but we have to put our pride in our pockets and be humble, only then can we rise, and rise together.
I am not saying this because Barack is a black President, but because of what he has been able to achieve, that is the dream. Barack,also wants to see us come together as a Nation, and grow strong as a nation, and the only way we can do that is Unite. It is only when we learn to love ourselves as a people and embrace each other will we be able to unite with others.
Rise my brother, Rise my sister, Rise.

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Voting Rights Act of 1965

2008-11-02T17:18:00.000-08:00

About a year or two ago there was an email that was circulating that enraged many African-Americans. This email indicated that the Voters Right Act of 1965 which is part of the Civil Rights act was coming up to be voted on Congress. This infuriated many because they believed that what Congress was voting on was the right for African-Americans to vote. Everyone is wondering why is it that this right to vote is not a permanent part of our constitution. Well this information was quite misleading and it exasperated many African-Americans but this was bad information.

In 1870 the 15th Amendment was ratified, it specified that the right to vote shall not be denied or abridged on the basis of race, color, or previous servitude. This superseded state laws which prohibited black voting. Congress then enacted the Enforcement Act of 1870, which contained criminal penalties for interference of the right to vote. After this millions of recently freed slaves registered to vote. Black candidates for the first time were elected to state, local, and federal offices and had a very active role in the government. This participation was greatly resisted and in 1890 certain states began to amend their constitutions and enact a series of laws, i.e., poll tax,literacy tests, etc. By 1910, all blacks were kept from voting by any means necessary. After much violence and other means of keeping blacks from voting, the Voters Right Act of 1965, was initiated by President Johnson who recognized the need for stronger voter legislation. This piece of legislation followed the language of the 15th Amendment this was done in Section 2 of the legislation. However, there were certain parts of the country that Congress believed had the highest potential for discrimination to be the greatest, and this is where Section 5 comes into play, and the only part of this legislation that comes up for vote every few years. This section has special provisions for the potentially discriminatory areas of the country. Jurisdictions covered by these special provisions could not implement any change affecting voting until the Attorney General or the United States District Court for the District of Columbia determined that the change did not have a discriminatory purpose and would not have a discriminatory effect. In addition, the Attorney General could designate a county covered by these special provisions for the appointment of a federal examiner to review the qualifications of persons who wanted to register to vote. It was extended for five years at first and seven years after that, and George W. Bush just recently extended it to 2025. Many politicians wants this section to be eliminated, but it is still a problem for minority voters in the specified areas of the country, and the vote is to either continue with these provisions or not to continue.
This all should have been researched prior to circulating an email that infuriated most ns frightened other African Americans. We were thinking the day may come where we can no longer vote, as it was between 1870 and 1965. So you can't believe everything that you read it pays to find out for yourself. This is the reason why I put several links in my blog, so you can look into the various things that I write about.

Good looking up!

My Daily Trip to Wendy's

2008-10-30T21:41:00.001-07:00

Like clock work, I stop to the Wendy's on Ventura near Fallbrook in San Fernando Valley almost every morning while I am driving my bus route on the way to the Thousand Oaks area. No it is not the food that I stop for it is the facilities. I am have been doing this since about June of this year. With my job we change our routes every six months and the first thing a driver does is find out where on the route there are clean and easily accessible restrooms. Wendy's has been one of those places for me. In this Wendy's there are 2-4 retired people always sitting at the same table and like me they are there every morning. After about the second week of my coming in, they would say good morning and make idle chat as I rush in and rush out. One particular morning they saw me pull the bus up in front and proceed to the door of Wendy's and one of the gentleman had squatted down on the inside while holding the inside handle of the door so that I was not able to just snatch it open. Once I saw him there through the class of the door I just started to laugh and then he let me in. The other guy was standing in front of the ladies restroom door with his arms stretched open so that I couldn't pass. Again I just laughed and they got a big kick out of teasing me this way. It was just so funny until I couldn't say a word. It was just all in good fun.
Every since that day they tease me as I run in and out of the Wendy's and I also tease them about having nothing better to do than get up in the morning to harass the bus driver. They are really very nice people. They tell me that they look forward to seeing me in the mornings as I look forward to seeing them, and when I don't come in they miss my doing so. In the brief seconds of my going in and out we are able to exchange information about our kids, home towns, vacations, etc, this exchange has been quite interesting and uplifting.

This morning one of the gentleman who is always leaving about the time I stop in front of the store, was at the counter purchasing something to take out with him and he walked out with me as I was rushing out and told me about one of the other gentlemen that is sometimes there in the mornings; that he was a little rattled by our brief chat the day before. He is also retired with longer grey hair that he pulls back in a ponytail. He is actually the quieter of the four and I will call him the fourth one because he is not always there in the morning. The day before I was teasing, the fourth one, about being really quiet and that maybe he needed another cup of coffee or need to get his coffee else where, because the Wendy's coffee is just not working. He sort of smiled and kept his eyes on his coffee.
So this morning when I was leaving, the gentleman that walked out with me started to tell me that I almost got into it with the guy with the pony tail, yesterday. He told me that he never talks to him because he doesn't like him, and then he told me that this guy really hates me because I am black. Well I was really surprised to hear that, but of course not shocked. I told my friend that this guy obviously has a problem, and it is just that, his problem. We laughed and I told him that whenever I see the fourth one, I am going to make sure to speak to him specifically, but being careful with my teasing, and just be over the top with personality and attention, and let that anger eat him up or it may just ease him up.
There was a time that this sort of thing would have angered me, but not anymore because I am blessed with what God has given me and those who harbor hatred usually are not even aware of why they are angry. They have been taught to do so, and losing that anger would mean losing a part of themselves. I find it a very sad situation. I know how hard it is to harbor resentment toward someone that has actually done something wrong to me. Having to remember my anger whenever their name is mentioned and or when I am faced with them. That is just way too much energy for me, so I can only imagine what it takes to hate an entire race of people. They must be exhausted.

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The Gift that keeps on Giving

2008-10-22T20:31:00.000-07:00

There is this wonderful and very excitable Vietnamese couple that I see every morning taking an early morning walk together. I usually see them at Topanga and Sherman Way in San Fernando Valley as I begin my route at 5:00 in the morning. The lady is a little shy, but has started talking to me more and more. Her husband is one that is full of energy and I believe that he is the one that really started all of this. I see them pretty much every morning and we have all gotten to the point where we look for each other because it is a warm exchange and a great start to the day when you come across people that are nice and engaging. It is actually a disappointment when I don't see them in the morning. Well after Nancy warmed up to me she asked me what size bra did I wear. Of course I thought this was a strange question coming from someone that I hardly know, but she went on to explain that she makes bras and works for an American lingerie company, and we just all laughed. After she asked the question, her husband just sort of looked at me and walked away with this big smile on his face, as if to say, I don't really want to know this information. So when I told her the size she looked closer at my chest area as though she didn't believe me, and I told her that these puppies were well contained, but that was the correct size. She says to me, "but you are skinny", and that is when I hugged and thanked her for calling me skinny; something every woman wants to hear even when it is not true, and in my case it is not true. I am in a size twelve which is fine for my height but I am almost fifty years old and there are quite a few things poking out under there.

The very next morning they were approaching the stop at Topanga as I was also approaching. While I was changing the head sign on the bus in preparation to begin my route they were standing right outside the door. When I opened the door and said good morning I was being handed a small white bag, from no other than her husband. Inside there were two brand new bras in my size. I just laughed about who was actually handing me the package, and I thanked her very much.
What is so wonderful about this is that it reminds me that there are still really good and generous people in this world. I believe that there are more of them than not, but unfortunately the minority of people that set out to do harm to others makes one really weary of all people and keeps you on the defensive. These are the things that I love about my job. I have always really enjoyed people and getting to know them and their lives and discover and understand as well as embrace the differences in our backgrounds, our culture, our ethnicity, etc. None of these things were a factor in this beautiful exchange between an African-American woman and an Asian-American couple. The thing that we have in common is the enjoyment of meeting good people where there is a warm, intelligent, and enlightening exchange that leaves you with restored faith and a smile. This is the beauty that God wants us to see within each other, knowing that we have more in common than not. That people are people, regardless of their ethnicity, religious beliefs, or background; our basic needs are the same.

This is one of the reasons that I absolutely love my job as a metro bus driver. I am fortunate enough to meet all sorts of people from all walks of life, and they greatly outweigh those that are unpleasant to meet. I learn so much from these people and about these people and it further encourages me. The other thing I love about my job is that I have learned a great deal about this city through driving the bus and the various routes. I have learned my way around the city and learned the culture of various neighborhoods, by its inhabitants and the type of businesses that are there.

We are in very difficult times in this country and it is always warming to the heart when you connect with one another. We need that, and it makes whatever it is that you are going through just a little bit easier. It is really easy to smile and say good morning to those that you don't know. To listen when they talk to you, because you don't ever know if your kindness is what makes the difference in their lives, the difference in their day, or change the course of their thoughts and so often there is some sort of impact.

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WOW! An endorsement by the most respected Republican in all the Land

2008-10-20T17:37:00.000-07:00

Sunday, Colin L. Powell endorsed Barack H. Obama for the next President of the United States. He believes that either candidate would make a good president, but Obama is what America needs today. He criticizes McCain on his campaign tactics as well as his choice for a running mate. He also criticizes his party on their swing further to the right in which Palin has become instrumental. Powell admits that he was for the war with the information that he was provided but it just has not worked and it needs to be corrected. Some want to call him a traitor for crossing party lines and others want to say that he crossed these lines merely on race. This is such an insult to such a highly respected man, and is ridiculous for anyone to think that a man with his background would let race alone play any part in his decision to endorse a presidential candidate. I have always had a great deal of respect for Colin Powell, the man and the leader. I greatly respect his opinions and the eloquent way in which he expresses them.
The beauty he saw in a photo essay he came across on the Muslim-America, Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan, a fallen soldier of the Iraqi War, now buried in Arlington Cemetery at the tender age of 20, further exemplifies, the wisdom and the insite of this great man.. It didn't matter if Khan was Muslim or not when he went to fight for this country against terrorism that destroys the fiber of freedom everywhere. The story he told of this young man once again reiterates the fact that the differences among us is not the issue, and that we are more alike than we are different.

Powell expressed his admiration for both presidential candidates but believe Obama to be what America needs at this time. Powell recognizes Obama's ability to inspire people, reach across racial, ethnic, religious, generational, and social line. He highlights Obama's rhetorical abilities, and the substance as a leader and as a man.
This is what Powell endorses. He has only known Obama for the past couple of years and he mentions that he has watched Obama educate and ready himself for the most important job in America, that as President. For these reasons and these reasons alone is why Powell believes Obama to be the right man for the job. Powell describes Obama as a transformational figure, and transformation is what we need, we need his freshness.
McCain describes Bill Ayers, the man that he is trying so hard to link Obama with, as a "washed up terriorist" and I describe McCain as a "washed up POW" and this experience does not give him what is needed to run this country, other than further into the ground.
No Obama will not be able to make the necessary changes with lightening speed, but he will put in place a team that will work their hardest to make the changes needed to get America back on top where she belongs. Why, because smart people knows how to surround themselves with a strong team that has the level of experience and expertise that he can draw from, and that is evident in his choice of a running mate.

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Fear of Our Own Greatness

2008-10-18T20:19:00.000-07:00

We all have things that we have dreamed of doing in our lives and most of these dreams we never pursue. Sometimes it is because others don't believe in our dream and we start to doubt ourselves. Other times life gets in the way, and by the time we have less responsibility in our lives and are able to start on some of those dreams, we are tired and no longer have the desire, and begin to believe that there was a reason why we never pursued our dreams. I am also guilty of this sort of thinking. There has been times where I have pursued things and taken risks but I have never pursue the dreams I have so often had in the artistic realm. I have less responsibility now than I did when I was raising my daughter and it is my time, but I have allowed everything to get in my way, most of all myself. I am trying to free myself from this, and I so often convince myself that I don't have the fight that I use to have ten years ago, but that is not true, I still have that fire. I believe that God puts the passion into your heart and it is up to us to act on it.
Many people have had the same feelings, and they some how worked through that fear, and pushed through to their dream. There are many people that has come before us, and these are average everyday people that have done extraordinary things.
Photojournalism is something that I have a passion for. I have always loved photography and also learning about people's lives, where they have been, where they are going and why. I believe that everyone has a story and most often it can touch some else's life. That is what I am passionate about. What scares me is that there are so many amazing photographers out there and I don't yet know how to make my photography stand out from the rest. I am good with relating to people. I have the kind of personality that people gravitate to and my honesty and sincerity is what people are trusting of. I am hoping that these character traits are what pushes me along in my pursuit of this field. Hopefully this will allow me to get the right photograph that tells a moving story.
The reason for starting these blogs is to overcome my fear of putting myself out there, expressing myself for all to see, even putting some photos out there. Hopefully the day will come when I look back on these meager beginnings and be grateful that I started somewhere. I am also hoping that all that read my blogs will also see my growth, and even be instrumental in that growth by commenting on what they read or see in my photographs.

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The Last Presidential Debate, Still Too Close for Comfort

2008-10-15T22:40:00.000-07:00

Tonight, the debate was held at Hofstra University, in Hempstead, New York, which is where I attended college. It was actually hard to watch. The lies that McCain is steadily allowed to tell about Obama is amazing. These statements have been consistently corrected in commentary, but he continues to perpetuate them and attack the man personally. The America people want to hear what the candidates plan to do, especially with this economy. The other major issues being the war in Iraq, the education of our children so they are able to compete in this world, and health care. McCain continues to skim these issues and makes taxes the main issue of his platform other than bashing Obama.

There seems to be a great deal of people that have switched parties, because of the most recent Republican regime. When Bush took office this country had a financial surplus, and now the deficit is out of reach. The economy is headed toward a serious depression, and we are bailing out big business and letting the little man sink. It appears as though it was not until these financial institutions started to suffer from all of the bad mortgages, that the federal government publicly acknowledge that there was a serious problem. This alone is quite a disappointment, and I can't imagine what this country would be like if McCain is the next president, and with the polls being as close as it is, anything is possible here in America.
As much as I want Obama to be our next president, I am quite concerned for his life. He is too young and has too much to offer this country for him to be snuffed out like that. Then there is the obvious, his wife being widowed and their two girls growing up without their father, as so many of the families of our promising leaders have had to do; i.e., John Kennedy, Jack Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Medger Evers, and Malcom X, just to name a few.
I am aware that Obama is not going to be able to turn this country around easily or rapidly, but I believe that he will make enough of a difference for the American people to take note and benefit over the long term.
I don't think that I can handle another republican in office and especially the likes of John McCain. Leaving this country and becoming an expatriate is definitely an option for me and many others that I have spoken with. Where will I go, I am not sure at this time, but somewhere where the cost of living as well as the quality of life is much better. I always hear that there is no other place like America, and I am not able to speak on that, because I have never lived any where else. I am quite interested in finding out, especially if McCain gets into the White House.

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Witness to A Huge Historical Moment

2008-08-26T10:30:00.000-07:00

Reuters/Shannon Stapleton

There are a number of people that believe that Barack Obama is not ready for the White House, but most people in this country are tired of what the White House represents and how it represents, and we are ready for Change, and that change will come with Barack Obama. Barack may not have Foreign Policy experience, but he has a gift of bringing people together, to contribute their individual gifts to have a win/win situation. Yes that means compromise, give and take, but that is what negotiating is all about; but you can't negotiate, talk about, work through or work on anything, if those necessary people don't see the urgency to come together . Alongside Barack is a gracious lady, that is equally as intelligent and as eager for change as we are for the future of this country. See, we all know that this country has the resources to be so much more than it is for its citizens and we want those resources allocated appropriately. This change is exactly what Michelle Obama spoke about last night at the Democratic Convention. Her speech demonstrated the passion she has for her country and her belief in her husband's abilities to ignite the change that we so desperately yearn for. She spoke of his love for people and his family, his ability to appreciate diversity by seeing and knowing that we have more that makes us the same, than that which makes us different. For once, there is a man that is appealing to us all as one people, as one nation and I believe that he has made it this far because of this ability, but not this ability alone.
No, he is not perfect, nor do we believe that he can do all that needs to be done, but we know that when he becomes the Leader of the Free World, he will have won the fight but the war is on.

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Malinda Williams Jones

2008-08-25T11:40:00.000-07:00

I was just looking at all of the beautiful pictures of Malinda and her new Hubby on her wedding day. I am a photographer, not that it is necessary to be able to see what only pictures are able to reveal, since they are moments frozen in time. Pictures always tell a story. Sometimes those pictures tell stories that you don't want told, or stories that you are not even aware of. There were stories in my wedding pictures that I didn't see until after the wedding, and those pictures didn't lie.
I see an untold story here even before looking at more of the wedding photos, where there were photos of other married couples and the difference is quite obvious. She seems so excited not only about her wedding but also about being his wife, his life partner, and I hope she gets all that she is hoping for. I do wonder what will be her price.

I know that it appears as though I am rambling, because I don't want to appear to be a hater of sorts, but there is something that is disturbing here and I hope that I am wrong.

The second pic is of Dule Hill and his wife, and the third pic is of Nicole and Boris.

Addendum:

When this post was done, there were beautiful pictures on the Essence Magazine website, but those pictures are no longer there, therefore they are no longer attached to my site. I do apologize for this but I will leave the post available. I find it very strange that these pictures are no longer available on the Essence website, when other celebrity weddings prior to Melinda's are still there. Why have these pictures been removed? Did she open herself up to ridicule? Was it something I said?

11/04/2008

Melinda's wedding pictures are back on the Essence website, but not those that I referenced. Again I apologize.

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Head Lice - Life or Death

2008-08-14T17:54:00.000-07:00

I failed to mention before that I work for the Transportation system here in Los Angeles. I am a bus operator for MTA, which is the largest public transportation system in Los Angeles, employing over 10 thousand people. I work about 20-30 hours per week, depending on which six months it is. The routes and schedules change for the drivers every 6 months. Almost three years ago, I moved here to Los Angeles, California and I didn’t know La Cienega from Crenshaw Blvd. I was able to learn my way around Los Angeles and surrounding counties by driving public transit.

When I first applied with MTA I was simply going to apply for one of the office jobs, which I really didn’t want, but hey, I needed a job. Upon completing the application, the lady at the window accepted it and told me that the quickest way in the door with MTA is as a bus operator. My response to her was, “ I don’t want to drive a bus.” She told me I am just telling you; because once you are hired as an operator you can change jobs immediately without ever having to drive a bus. So I decided to take her advice. After going through several interviews and being offered the position, I decided to just go through the training, which was 6 weeks of hell. I decided that I like meeting all sorts of people and absolutely love to drive, that it may just be the job for me.

After training, the first couple of months were hard because I had to drive over night, which are called the owls, and this was in the heart of Hollywood. Well other than safety, I am just not a night person and had a hard time trying to stay awake. Thank God the schedule change was upon us, because I was able to get an assignment that started early in the morning and ended early. Since I was now part-time the hours were not that long, as most full-time drivers work 10-14 hours per day. Almost three years later I am still part-time because I chose to be. Driving that bus for 10-14 hours per day, five days per week is really hard on the body as well as the spirit, so I made the sacrifice and turned it down. Even though there are a number of times that I took on extra assignments and still worked 10-14 hours per day, but that was by choice, and I could stop at any time I wanted to. The company literally owns you once you are full-time and at that moment you cease to have any quality of life at all. The divorce rate is high and the frequency of infidelity is even higher I absolutely love what I do, I find driving the bus to be a great deal of fun, and so is meeting all kinds of people. Quite a few of the people you get to know pretty well because they are regulars on your route.

This brings me to the real story. I drive a route that goes the length of Ventura Blvd, in San Fernando Valley. For those that don’t know the street, it is a very popular street where there are lots of high-end shops and restaurants. It also goes through Studio City and Encino (home of the Jackson family, of the Jackson 5,) where quite a few celebrities live, so there are quite a few celebrity sightings. I start this route at 5 am and most of the riders at that time are those that are going to and from work and school. When I turn around and head the opposite direction on Ventura, I get to a certain point and change my head sign on the bus which changes my route number and from there I go all the way to Thousand Oaks, which is near Malibu. On this leg of my trip I pick up this lady who is from Bronx, New York, but has lived out here quite a number of years. I also believe that she is Jewish. She has a really strong New York accent, that to me sounds like she is from Brooklyn, but she says she is from the Bronx. Well when she gets on my bus, she starts talking to this lady that has gotten on the bus a few stops before her. Well she talks non-stop for about 20 minutes, and I find her conversation to be fascinating and quite entertaining, besides, I just love to hear her talk. She is intelligent and apparently well read, and she loves old movies. She is about 56 years old; I know that because she said in 1961 she was 8 years old.

See, this lady sits in the one of the first two seats on the bus, therefore I can hear her entire conversation. She seems to be very opinionated and quite liberal. Most of what she says I absolutely agree with and other times I am surprised. Today she was talking and she mentioned that when her relatives came from Europe, one of her aunts was turned away from the ship for the journey to America, because she had head lice, and because she was left behind, she died in the holocaust. I winced when I heard her say that. This young woman died at the hands of the Germans all because she could not enter the boat to travel to America, as so many did, because she had head lice. Her other family members that were entering the boat that day survived. Can you imagine the guilt that the survivors had to live with or what the young woman was going through knowing that she would die and never see her family again? Wow! I can’t begin to imagine any of those emotions. Well this really struck a nerve with me because I am presently reading this book by Daniel Mendelsohn called “The Lost: A Search for Six of Six Million” The story is basically about Mendelsohn researching to find out what happened to his grandfather’s brother, his brother’s wife and their four daughters, that still resided in Bolechow in the Ukraine after World War II. The book is quite interesting. It was known that they perished in the Holocaust but not much was known of when and how, or even what sort of family they were. Mendelsohn wanted to know the details of their deaths, because he was the one uncle that little was known. He also had a striking resemblance to this uncle.

As I was riding the bus later, on my way home from work, I was reading this book and started to read about the story that his maternal grandfather told him about his trip to America. This was a question that his grandfather was always asked, and his answer was he didn’t know because he was throwing up the entire time. There is however one part that he loved to tell and that is how he and his sister almost missed the boat because she had such long hair. The reason was that they were inspecting the passengers for head lice, and since her hair was so long it would have taken too long and they were already about to miss the boat. So his grandfather, being a teenage boy, yelled fire, fire, and through all of the commotion that was generated, he grabbed his sister’s hand and ran onto the boat.

She made it because she had a mischievous brother, and my passenger’s aunt was turned away.

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