Cooking Again -Daughter Home from College

I use to really enjoying cooking and trying new recipes, but since I now live alone, I don't cook so much anymore. I do love good food though. Since my daughter has been out here visiting I have been cooking more. I guess that is just what mothers do when their children are around. My daughter is 23 years old so maybe she should be cooking for me, but that is not how it normally works I guess. Besides she loves it when I cook and when we are able to try out new things. Just maybe I will keep it up once she is gone back to college.

Facebook - what does it mean to you?

I was introduced to facebook about three years ago, but I was not to keen on the social networks. I am still not very fond of Myspace, and that probably is because there is a very young crowd there.

It is just in the last year that I decided to complete my profile on facebook and start to connect with others. I must say that I have really enjoyed it. I have reconnected with old friends from college and high school and it has been fun. Catching up with what everyone has been doing over the years. Seeing their children now all grown-up and going on with their lives. It has been a great deal of fun for me.

It is so easy to lose touch with old friends, and most often you never reconnect, but facebook has been that easy place to reconnect. I believe that I will probably stay connected with most of these old friends at this point. I must warn you though, it is addictive, or it can be.

Sighting - Jermaine Jackson and Ray J

Thought I would go to the mall to see if I could get a last minute deal on something wonderful. I did, but it was not what I expected. I ended up buying something for my skin. The mall was really crowded today as you would expect. Even though it has been reported that the stores were not as full today as in the past years. Maybe they were not talking about the one in Woodland Hills. They had a great deal of sales of course, but I was looking for that one thing that just jumped out at me and was such a great price. I didn't see anything like that. I am trying to gussy up my fashion accessories, and was really looking for things like, jewelry, scarves, hats, etc. Unfortunately, I didn't see anything that was screaming to go home with me.

I did see Jermaine Jackson and his wife standing in line around the Coffee Bean kiosk. He didn't see me at first but she was looking directly at me. I thought of taking out my cell phone and taking a picture, but decided against it, and just moved on through the food court. I saw him again as I was walking toward the upward escalator and he and his wife were coming down. This time he was looking right at me through his aviator glasses and I waved at him and he waved back and flashed that beautiful Jackson smile.

Jermaine is my least favorite of the Jackson's but it was good to see him out and about. If I had seen him 25 years ago, I would have been spellbound, but I guess from being older as well as living in Los Angeles, right around the corner from the Jackson compound, I am not star struck. I see celebrities all of the time and realize that they are just like you and I.
I am always asked if I ever get their autographs, but I don't because when I see them they are usually with their families and I am really respectful of their privacy and their family time. I usually always speak to them though, and they always respond in a friendly manner. That is enough for me.

Since my daughter was with me she got the thrill, even though she knows nothing about growing up with the Jackson 5, but she also saw Ray J, who is in her generation, pass right by her while he was of course talking on the cell phone. I think that we both spotted him at the same time.

I live in San Fernando Valley where a great deal of celebrities live, so I see them all of the time, and it is always good to see them doing their thing.

Why Do We Allow the Media to Manipulate?

It amazes me how we hold others to standards that we are not even able to live up to, especially those people whose lives are in the spotlight. I know in many ways we are supporting the careers of many of these people but does it also give us the right to tear them down?
We are supporting their work, their gifts, and their talents. Yes we want to know more about them as people, but when we find out that they are flawed we treat them like they have the plague, and that is not fair at all. Hell we are all flawed, some of us more so than others. I guess the old adage still applies that misery loves company, even when it is someone that we don't really know. I think part of it is that these people's lives are always plastered in the media so we feel that we know them, but we don't, there is always more to them whether good or bad that is not in the media. There is often more to those that we are closest too than we know. I have friends that have passed on that I am still finding out things about.

We forget that they are still people with the same feelings, emotions, hang-ups, and flaws as all of us. They have families, bad days, disappointments, and tragedies in their lives just like the rest of us and they deal with these things just as we do. We have the tendency to see them as bigger than life and what we consider role models, but when we see their flaws we immediately want to dismiss them.
Remember as a kid when you could not imagine your first grade teacher going to the bathroom. I do. The thought of my beautiful teacher, that commanded respect and attention in the classroom, and always knew the right thing to do for us as students and small children, could possible be sitting on the toilet. Right, too much to imagine, huh. There was also a time in your life when you could not imagine your own mother and father having sex.
My point is that we put people on pedestals because of what they bring to our lives, and yes there are some build their own pedastal, but those people fall off their self-made pedestal faster than others.
Then we grow up and realize that that teacher is just a person with bodily functions like the rest of us, that experiences that same things that we do, and we let those fantasies go. Well it is time to let those fantasies go when it come to public figures.
It is great for your children to look up to some of these people, but merely as a figure that has made some accomplishments that they too want to make, or as a person that has realized their dream regardless of the many obstacles or not; but not as a god.

Most will tell you that there are no overnight successes. There was a great deal of hard work and anguish that went into realizing their dream long before we ever knew they existed. When you really look into the past experiences of our celebrities, many slept in cars, a friends couch, lived on roman noodles or soup, that is because they never gave up and that is what you want your children to learn, to never give up on your dreams.
It is time for us to back off and not allow the media to control us. We need to give the same respect to others that we would want to receive. It has to be hard enough to have your life plastered in the media for everyone to see and judge.

Your Adult Children

It is a great feeling to see your kids grow into adults and make good decisions for their life. For a great deal of parents that is not the case and have to constantly worry about their children and their choices. Some of these situations are more traumatic than others. My daughter is not a perfect child, but she has definitely been a good one. One would like to think it is due to good parenting, and most often it is, but there are times when one is parented well and still make bad decisions. Decisions that potentially devastate their lives and rob them of their youth.

When you do have a child that turns out healthy and emotionally stable then you are truly blessed as a parent. It is definitely the hardest job that I ever had, but it has been the most rewarding one.
My daughter is about to graduate from college and for that accomplishment I am grateful. During the time of her college days, that are not quite over, she still made me proud. No the grades were not always her absolute best and there were trying times with her walking the line in making decisions for her life. I also remember those times and they are probably the hardest that I ever had to go through. Those are the years when you are growing into your own and those growing pains can be debilitating. You are faced with so many roads to take and you just don't know which one is right for you. I believe that is mostly because you don't know yourself well enough to know what it is you want and that is frustrating in its own right. Through it all she continues to surprise me and make me proud.

My daughter is now a woman and that is hard for a mother, knowing that your influence on your child is not as strong as it once was. And then you are surprised, because you realize that your voice is now in their head.

The Patch - Improved Quality of Life

I realize that menopause and often times major surgery as a hysterectomy of some degree is a definite turning point in a women's life. As much as I don't like or trust FDA approved anything, especially drugs and even food, I realize now that the quality of my life takes priority. This is why I decided to take the estrogen patch. I chose the patch mostly because of what my doctor didn't say.

We know that there are various ways for a woman to take estrogen, orally, in patch form, suppositories and even creams. The last two I thought would be too much trouble, and I figured that the pill would be just easier, but when my doctor explained to me that the pill would be fine provided I have never had any problems with my liver, I immediately felt that interaction with my liver should be something to avoid. This is why I opted for the patch. I realize that once you damage your liver there is really no turning back. I also realized that I am not going to have to take hormone replacement forever, probably just for 2-4 years.

For now, it has definitely improved my quality of life and for that I am grateful. I now realize that it is not always smart to fight things without personal experience. That doesn't mean that you need personal experience with everything, but I do realize that there are things you just need to experience for yourself.
I can now be the poster child for this estrogen patch.

Now it is just a matter of my continual physical recovery from the surgery itself. I have been told that it takes a great deal longer for the internal scars to heal than those on the outside. So I will do as I am told and take it easy by listening to my body and adjusting things in my life accordingly. I want to have a full recovery and I expect a full recovery. As hard headed as I am, I have been heeding the advice of my doctor as well as those who has had this surgery before me.

Can you sho' me the drugs!

Well that is exactly where I am three weeks after my surgery. I have been able to handle being here alone, merely moving from the bed, to the bathroom, and finally to the sofa. The lost of appetite, phantom cycle, and the daily misery has all been topped off with not being able to sleep more than two hours at a time. Often times it is 20-30 minutes at any given time. So this means that my body is not getting the rest it needs to heal, but in spite of that my doctor says that I am healing well.

Exactly three weeks after my surgery, the lack of hormones took a turn for the worst. The night before I had the worst night sweats ever. Waking up twice drenched in sweat. This was absolutely more than I was willing to deal with. So I already knew that it was not going to be a good day. Well I was right. I started to feel even more miserable than normal, and felt as though I was falling into a depression. I am just laying on the sofa fighting back tears that want to flow for no apparent reason. Starting to really regret even having this surgery. Asking myself, what have I done to my body? What have I done to my life? Will I ever be the same again? Then there were thoughts of my just wanting to lay there and die. No there were not any suicidal thoughts, but I just wanted it to end, to stop. Then the tears came at full force, and there was no control.
I called my friend in Chicago, who was here to care for me immediately after surgery, and her compassion was unbelievable. She just allowed me to cry, and eventually I stopped and was able to tell her what I was feeling and how bad it had been all day. Then I got a returned call from my doctor, who had just gotten out of surgery at a nearby hospital. She apologizes for not calling me earlier in the day and brought me a prescription for hormone replacement therapy to my house on her way home. I decided the patch would probably be better for me.

Now I was really trying to avoid having to take any type of hormone replacement because of all that has been implicated about these synthetic hormones, but I knew that I was in a place where I needed to do something and I could not do this on my own.

Two weeks after surgery

I am on my own again. My friend just got the shuttle to the Burbank Airport to head back to Chicago, and I miss her already. She is getting back home so that she can get some rest before going back to work. Her taking care of me after my surgery was more work than either of us thought it would be. I was watching her cook and wash dishes in what seemed like an endless cycle. She is also very sensitive to my neat-freak ways and tried to accommodate those as well. She was nothing short of wonderful, generous, and gracious; and I feel truly honored to have her in my life. She cooked for me, she cleaned for me, she cleaned up after me, she attended to my every need. We laughed, we cried, and we talked for hours, at least that was the first few days after being released from the hospital. Then the misery set in.

I ended up with a sinus infection on top of everything else, so now I am taking a really strong antibiotic, pain medication, as well as an inhaler to get the mucous out of my lungs. These things were the constant struggles, and then I started to lose my appetite, but I needed to eat something because of all of the medication I was taking, but after two bites of anything, it appeared to swell in my mouth, too large to swallow. So of course I am feeling really sick at this point.

Did I mention that everything I ate gave me gas, absolutely everything, Oh yes I did the constipation dance as well. So can you imagine how my body tensed up with these two things. Not to mention the pain that shoots through, around, and across one's poor broken body.

To top it all of, you are not going to believe this. I have the phanton period (menstrual cylcle). Now where is that coming from. lol
Can you tell me what misery is all about, I think I got it thank you.

It has been 10 years

Today is my godson's birthday, he turns 30 years old. Now that makes me feel really old. His mother gave birth to him when I was in my freshman year of college and I have adored him from that moment to this one.
He grew up a fine young man and after high school he decided to go into the Marines. He left boot camp in Paris Island, South Carolina and was sent to California and he was really homesick. He came back to Savannah every chance he got. On one of those visits he met with some of his high school friends and they all went to a Greek Fraternity step-show at the local college there, Savannah State. Of course they were all college age, 20, and only one was in college and that was his best friend.


Following the step-show, they stopped at a local liquor store to buy a few beers and some other alcohol, because after all my godson was a military man, with a car, and they were just hanging out together. None of them were of legal drinking age. They were now headed to another party and as so many teenagers do they decided to race with some guys that were in another car.

As they picked up speed they came upon a sharp curve in the road and they hit a tree at the rate of 60 mph. I I didn't get the call until the next morning, and it was a call you never want to get, but I can only imagine what his mother felt when she got the call in the middle of the night.

He was in a coma and had broken his pelvic and his leg. They drilled a hole in his skull to release the pressure,. There was cerebral swelling and bleeding.

His best friend who was in the front passenger seat died instantly and had to be removed from the car with the 'jaws of life'. There was also a passenger in the back seat that had only sustained minor injuries.

I rushed to the hospital when his mother called me and she was afraid that I may not be able to handle seeing him in this condition. I am always pretty good under pressure and fall apart after the fact. It was really hard to see him fighting for his life.

A few days later they told his mother that he had no more brain activity and she need to get the family together and consider removing him from life support.
Thank God that she refuse to remove life support, because a few weeks later he came out of the coma, but had sustained quite a bit of damage to his brain and would never be the same. He had to learn to talk and walk all over again, and he only remembered a handful of people, but I was one of those that he did remember. At first he didn't even remember his grandmother.
He went through intense physical therapy and had to be taught again as though he was a toddler.
He has since fully recovered physically, but his mental capability will forever remain that of a 15 year old.

He is still the sweetest and most loving child that I have had the good fortune to love and have love me.

Slice and Dice Time

Next week this time I would have been sliced into like a baked potato. Too bad they can't do a little bit of a tummy tuck while they are there. I had some of my readers that know me personally wanting me to post information concerning my surgery. It was a bit hard for me to imagine doing this at first because I come from that good southern family where some things should remain hush hush. I do realize that I am not the first nor the last to ever have this kind of surgery so I have decided that I will give the details without the blood and gore.

Due to the rapid growth of a recently discovered fibroid tumor I am having a hysterectomy. This fibroid is in my uterus and the size of a 16 week fetus. Can you imagine that. Since I am almost fifty years old my doctor and I decided that I should have a total hysterectomy. She told me that I only had a couple of years before my ovaries stopped working anyway, so get rid of them. On a more serious note, she stated that about half of the time she has had to go back and remove them later, so we are going to do a one for all here.
I look at the entire thing as a midlife tune-up, removing those parts that are starting to cause trouble so that they can't cause any more problems. Yes it is a major surgery, but I believe that things are going to be so much better after I am healed.

The concern at this point is if hormone replacement therapy will be necessary. My doctor doesn't seem to think so because I am in pretty good health. Right now my menopausal symptoms are pretty mild and if they don't become severe then I will handle it all holistically. I am not one to take a great deal of synthetic anything. So I will look for foods and herbs that act like hormones.

My family and friends have been great and I know that all will be fine. No, I am not afraid about the surgery, more or less I have been a bit anxious of all surrounding the surgery. Mostly because I have never had surgery before and am not use to being sick, and I am already not liking it too well.

What Niceties Did You Learn From Your Ex

Can you look back through all of the hurt and pain of a difficult marriage and then a divorce.


Usually it is not all bad, but what are some of the things that you learned other than the hard lessons of merging two very different lives together. Besides the facts that you both had two different value systems, or maybe it was the moral issues that ripped you apart.
I would definitely hope that you have learned a great deal from those hard lessons.

What else did you learn? Tonight I had fleeting thoughts of what little habits have change with me since I met this man that I committed my life to. They are very small things but they are things that I didn't do or consider before.

I now cook my rice with coconut milk and cinnamon sticks. It is the tastiest white rice that I have ever had. I now use only basmati rice instead of the long grain rice that I grew up with.


I now love the taste of avocado, however I still don't like the guacamole that I have come across so far. I have been told though if I ever eat some good guacamole in Mexico, I would change my mind. Now I can slice an avocado and eat it alone. It is amazingly good for you; the good oils.

I can now differentiate between Swahili and other African languages when I hear it spoken on the streets. My husband spoke both Swahili and Luganda fluently, so I know those two when I hear them.

Unfortunately I also learned to be a bit prejudice, which I am not going to divulge because I pray that God removes that from my heart.

Surprising Source of Anxiety

In less than two weeks I will be under going surgery. I am a little nervous about it all because I have never been in need of a major surgery. I have always been in excellent health. I am still in pretty good health but the body is getting older and in obvious need of some repair. The anxiety of the surgery is not what is most overwhelming, it is actually not being in control of the circumstances surrounding the surgery. I will need someone to be here to cook for me, to clean my house, and to even help me to take a shower. These are all things that we take for granted, at least those of us that have always been able to do these things for ourselves.

My anxiety is actually coming from having to depend on someone else for my basic needs. I realized just how much of a control person I really am. No I am not surprised, but I never thought that my not having total control of ME for even a short period of time would cause such stress.
I must say that I am very fortunate to have a friend of thirty years that volunteered to come out to Los Angeles and make sure that I am taken care of for two weeks. This also relieved my parents from having to come out here from Georgia. My daughter of course wants to come but she is in her last year of college and she needs to take care of finishing that degree. Furthermore this surgery is major but not a matter of life and death, and I will be in good hands.

The idea that I will not be able to do anything for myself is frustrating. Also I have no control over anything, not how my food is cooked, how my house is cleaned, or anything that I use to be in control of. This is funny to a great deal of people and I am starting to find the humor in it all myself, but it was a cause of serious anxiety for me.

I had to just convince myself that none of these things are more important than my health and I am very fortunate to have a friend that loves me enough to leave her family and fly over a thousand miles on her dime to care for me. How do you ever repay that?

Maybe I have earned this kind of loyalty in my friendship but I don't think that it has much to do with me but everything to do with her and who she is as a woman. I guess she loves me and I am thankful for that love.

Going Back in Time

What would it mean for you to go back in time? What would you do differently? Why would you want to turn back the clock? How far would you go back?

These are questions that are always talked about. We talk about hindsight be 20/20. If we only had a crystal ball.

Well there is not a great deal that I would change, but of course there are a few things. I would have listened to my parents more. And then there are instances where I would have listened to them less. Parents can only pass on to you what they know and just like your parents and teachers are the ones that create your belief system, someone else also created theirs. Most people don't ever align their belief system with what they have learned, they just don't know how.

Turning back the clock will give you a chance to have a do over, but mostly it will give you more time. You don't have to be younger to do anything these days. Some may wish that they had given birth to their children earlier or later or have gotten married earlier or later. Mostly we just want to have the time to do those things that we believed that we missed out on. A great deal of middle age women want to go back to their younger more glamorous selves. Even though my body was more toned, my hair was longer and fuller, and I had a great deal more energy, I am thoroughly enjoying being almost fifty. I feel more beautiful than before. When I was younger I was not aware of my looks therefore they were not important to me. It is not that it is more important now it is more about how I feel about myself and my life. That is something that radiates to the outside.

How far would I go back if I could go back? That is hard to determine as well. For some reasons I could say about 24, even though I thought my 20's were worst than my teens. So then I would say about 35 years old for vain reason. To me I absolutely looked my best, and was on my way to knowing more about life and where I fit in. Well I was wrong again. So I believe that I will start right where I am. I may feel different 20 years for right now, but there is something to be said about life's journey and with all of it's highs and lows, it is our journey, along with a great deal of lessons just for us. So I am looking forward to the rest of my journey.

The only thing I would really change is I would have slowed down and just enjoyed the journey.

Ask yourself these questions and let me know what you would do if anything, and if not, why.

Health Care

Health Reform, what does that mean to the average person. There are so may fighting this change and then there are those that have been fighting it for years and now realize there must be some sort of change. We need to begin to change the health care and pharmaceutical industries, the average Americans are consistently going broke behind medical expenses. We are not going to get it right with the first bill, but that is why there are amendments, and they will be necessary.

It is so frustrating that all that corporate is concerned with is the bottom line, the profit, but look at the casualties this sort of thinking gives rise to. It is actually embarrassing to this country. I don't believe that the average Americans would mind paying higher taxes if they are the ones that reap the benefit from the revenue, but the working man is not the one that benefits, those corporate heads are the ones that benefit. Once the tax is raised you never hear any more about what the money is being used for.

Obama is not trying to raise taxes he is merely trying to impose a tax system that is equal for all according to one's income and then channel those revenues in programs that are actually working. Health care reform is something that has been on the table for many decades but not much is ever done and that is just no long acceptable.

I read this in the LA Times earlier this week and it is unbelievable.

How could Obama still win Republican support for healthcare reform?

He should finally realize that we need to reform our insane malpractice system. The U.S. is spending between $60 billion and $200 billion a year on protection against lawsuits. I used to be a doctor, I know how much is wasted on defensive medicine. Everybody I practiced with spends hours and enormous amounts of money on wasted tests, diagnostic and procedures -- all to avoid lawsuits. The Democrats will not touch it. When Howard Dean was asked why, he said honestly and explicitly that Democrats don't want to antagonize the trial lawyers who donate huge amounts of money to the Democrats.

It is unbelievable that these doctors are not willing to do the necessary test on a patient. I am glad that doctors have some fear in being sued. If that is what it is going to take for them to be sure of the cause of a patient's complaints. It has been my experience that doctors either want to dismiss your ailments or over medicate.
It is even hard to find a good health care provider these days.

I long to see some drastic changes made, and hopefully this will in fact be the year that reform and regulation of these two industries begin.

Renewed Fashion Sense

For many years I have loved beautiful clothes and that is mostly because my mother was a really sharp dresser. I loved shoes and bags most of all, but honestly I loved it all. I realized later that I was not a shopper at all I was merely a buyer. I would walk in the stores where I shopped and if I saw something on display that I liked I would ask if it was in my size. Then there were sales ladies that knew me from being a frequent customer and they pull things for me, but I was never one to look through racks of clothes and put things together. Actually I didn't know how.

I grew up and only child and went to private schools all of my life. So I wore a uniform to school for 12 years of my life. Unlike the public school kids, who didn't wear a uniform to school everyday, they learned how to put their outfits together for school and mix and match things to change the look. This is something that I never learned and I didn't have any sisters to play dress up with. I guess you would think that I am whining about this, but I am not, just stating the facts.

I never looked through the magazines watching the trends, but back then fashion magazines were not as informative as they are now. It seems as though fashion was only for those that was in the industry, and it was even hard to find out how to get into this special group of people. Now every designer, fashion magazine, stylist, and anyone else involved in this elite group has a website. When looking through these fashion magazines who knew that the clothes the models were wearing were selected by what is now known as a stylist.

Now after raising a daughter and getting her through college, I am finally learning how to shop. Well part of this is because of my daughter. I have continued to love nice clothes and owned my share of them, but this shopping thing is fun. Now I am shopping with a purpose. I know some of your are saying 'whatever', but I am serious. Thanks to my daughter and the fashion websites, fashion magazines, and all of the fashion conscious people in Los Angeles, I am learning how to actually shop. I must say I am having the time of my life. The greatest thing is that I don't just buy something because it is appealing to me. I actually think about my purchases and how the new items will fit in with what I already own. Even better is when I go out shopping I already have in mind what I am looking for, and I rarely buy anything else, unless it will fit with my other wardrobe pieces and it is a great price and great quality.
This may all seem sophomoric to some, but it is freeing to me. It just goes to show you how something that many have been doing all of their lives can still be new to someone else.

I think a great deal of this has come about for me because I am now really looking at my life. Getting to know who I am and the best way to express who I am. Expressing myself through my style of clothes, through my writing, through my photography, and even my choice of vocation.

Renewal and discovery is where I am in life right now. It is like I am learning to breathe.

Who Says You Can't Be Fashionable on a Mobility Scooter

If you think I am speaking of a motor scooter you are wrong, I am talking about a mobility scooter. While I was at a red light on Van Nuys Blvd. waiting at the corner where there were two people on mobility scooters. The woman was parked ahead of the man and they were waiting for the light to change so they could cross the street. She was constantly turning back to talk to him which indicated to me that they were actually together. The lady was wearing a apple red cowboy style hat with a red leather hip length coat. Since she was sitting, I could not tell you much about the other clothing that she was wearing other than that they were dark in color. She was also wearing a ring on every finger of her right hand. I knew that because she was waving it around as she spoke to her companion. Of course she had perfectly decorated fingernails and I could see that red was on them somewhere along with a few other colors. Yes they were long enough for multiple colors.

The man was also on a mobility scooter and he was wearing a leather cowboy hat and a black leather jacket. The rest of his clothing was also black, and I could see that he was wearing a large Gold belt buckle. I guess he had that whole cowboy thing going on.

When the traffic light changed I proceeded on my way and I am assuming that they both did the same. All I could do was to smile. Of course I found this a little comical but my next thought was that it was also inspirational.

My second thought was that just because you face a challenge in your life doesn't mean that you stop living, regardless of how debilitating this challenge may be. Some times we have challenges that we can't change so we need to learn to continue to live in spite of them.

You continue to Move even when you are mobility challenged.

My Daughter the Stylist

It is amazing how our children grow up and you can see parts of yourself and other members of your family. And when you let them evolve naturally they surprise you and make you proud at the same time.

My daughter has always been a pretty girl, of course I am a bit bias but even from a baby she was often told how pretty she was. Now yes she did go through that awkward pre-teen stage as we all do, and then she once again blossomed into a very pretty young woman. She has beautiful features, skin, and hair, but she was never a diva. She really didn't care what she wore to school, if you bought it she would wear it. She was not really picky. When she went off to college, she wanted to look cute for obvious reason, college boys. Who would have known. We have all been there.

After the first year, she got into the wrinkled jeans and t-shirt stage and stayed there for quite some time. Then she cut off all of her hair and started wearing it curly, her natural texture. She also did what we all do and that is gain those college pounds.
Still wearing t-shirt, jeans, and short curly hair, she started to get into reading the fashion magazines, watching the fashion trends on television, where there are programming like Project Runway, Rachael Zoe, who has become her idol, and so many other programs. She has also been researching fashion on-line and reading the various fashion blogs. She has now decided that this fashion world is fun and that she wants to be stylist somewhat like Rachael Zoe.

After her visit to Los Angeles and seeing all of the options available in fashion, she went back to Savannah, started shedding those college pounds and making things happen. She is not as much into the Hollywood Glam as Rachael is, but she does like the style of Hollywood in the 50's. She has always loved vintage clothing and jewelry. Even before her visit to LA, she first started working with costume styling for a local play in Savannah, and got her accolades for that. So she is interested in working with costume designers and styling for tv.

She is now working with a local photographer in Savannah that is also trying to build a portfolio for himself in fashion photography.
She is having the time of her life and she is making it happen for herself and I am so very proud of her.

Whitney will also graduate from college this year with her bachelors in Mass Communication, which also gives her the option of working for a fashion magazine, possibly as a fashion editor.

Can you say 'Proud Mother"! Well yes I am and it is wonderful to see your children evolve and most importantly be happy with their choices for their lives. She is grateful to me for being the kind of parent that allowed her to grow her way, with guidance of course, but allowing her to be true to herself, and not necessarily my dreams for her.

Colmbus Day - An Insult

I don't understand how this country celebrates Columbus Day with all of the catastrophe that is associated with this so called discovery. First of all he is not the first European to even come to this land, The New World, Leif Ericson touched this land and built settlements here almost 500 years before Columbus. I guess because Leif didn't run back to Europe with the idea of getting the support to develop this new land, he does not get the credit. It appears as though Leif was amazed by the beauty of this new land and its people and possibly wanted to preserve as oppose to destroy, under the disguise of Christianity and Colonization.

When safe land passage to China and India became difficult, Columbus was merely trying to find a shorter passage between these countries by sea. This was all in a time when it was believed that the earth was flat.

On his first voyage, three large ships departed in August of 1492 and on Oct 12, 1492 they spotted land, which is now known as The Bahamas. Columbus called the island San Salvador, but the natives called it Guanahani. So why did he rename it, this was an established and cultivated land with human inhabitants before he got there. So who gave him the right? Well that is the questions that will be asked for many years to come in reference to the many things done by Europeans in the name of Christianity and Colonization. Before leaving this island, Columbus left 39 of his men behind to settle an area that is now known as Haiti, and captured up to 25 natives, most of which died before reaching Spain. Therefore if he was the founder of anything it was enslavement.

We may as well celebrate the pirates of The White Lion, the first ship to bring Africans to North America, specifically Jamestown, Virginia. The Africans were pirated from the slave ship, St. John the Baptist, while sailing in the Gulf of Mexico. It was headed to Vera Cruz in Spanish America.

So what are we celebrating?

Lazhanae- one of thousands failed by their Country

Violence among our youth starts when they are babies. They have no value for the lives of others because they don't value their own life, and why is that, because they have been taught that life has no value. This lesson is taught to them by the ones that are put here to care for them, and then those that are appointed to care for them when their parents can't or won't.

Many of these children are born to parents that don't want them, as Lazhanae was. Her mother was a substance abuser that gave birth to at least 8 children, and her intentions were to give them away, and she feels that she was doing them a favor by not aborting them. No I am not advocating abortion here, but doing them a favor, really. She should have done them a favor by not conceiving them if she did not want them or could not care for them. If she had enough sense to feel like abortion was wrong she should have known that this was also wrong and opted for some type of sterilization, or birth control. She was well aware of her life style and the circumstances of such a lifestyle.
What is even more appalling than this, is the fact that many of these children are placed in foster homes that should have never been foster homes at all. Some of these places are not fit for anyone to live in, and then there are times when these children are used and abused again and again. How do many of these people become foster parents? What is the criteria? What is the goal? What is the process?

It appears as though these kids are placed where ever someone would take them, regardless of where it is, as long as it is a perceived roof over the head and promise of food to eat.

A few years ago two children were award to their biological uncle after their mother died and he was a convicted sex offender. So he molested both the boy and the girl for about five years before anyone noticed. One day a lady that was familiar with him and his family knew that he was a convicted sex offender, she saw him with these children and called Child Protective Services. Now how in hell did that happen. This sort of thing really infuriates me.

We want to know why children are killing each other, they are only displaying what they know , what they have been taught, by the supposedly responsible adults of this nation.

It is known that Hurt People often Hurt People

Women At A Certain Age

There is a new movie out entitles, 'Men of a Certain Age' but nobody seems to want to talk about women of a certain age. With the amount of changes that a women's body goes through in her life time it is still surprising that in this date and time it is still mostly ignored. Well we can at least say that it stays out of the mainstream. Well I am a women of a certain age and it can be devastating when a women reaches this certain age. My understanding of the changes that takes place in a woman's body is so much better now, but there was no warning.

I understand now why there are some women that reach the age of 50 and want to still dress like they are 20. Why there are so many women out there that has a hard time accepting their aging. Well even though I am accepting this aging process, and I have no desire to be 20 again, it is not an easy process.

First society does not like the aging woman but is in totally acceptance of an aging man. Our body changes inside and out and it is a bit devastating to the ego. I believe it is mostly because of the lack of acceptance. Our aging men want us to continue to look like we did 20 years ago and that is not possible. Not only are these physical changes challenging, but there are a great deal of emotional changes that are mostly brought on by our hormones. Menopause is quite different for every woman and can be cataclysmic for others.

On either end of the spectrum, it is definitely life altering and something most of us are not equipped to handle, and as much as it is talked and written about it is not nearly enough. There are still those that tell you that everything will be alright. That is funny to me, because you don't feel like things are going to be alright. You often times feel like hurting someone. Often times you are so out of character until you don't even recognize yourself, and that to me is disturbing.

There are all kinds of things on the market to help with the hormonal imbalance that treat the symptoms but not near enough out there to help you understand what it is that you are going through. The constant shift of emotions that your are dealing with or trying to deal with. People look at you like you are crazy when you talk about it, and there are times when you feel you are possibly losing your mind, and yes, losing your grip has been a reality for some women.

So understand that this is a difficult time for women and even with all that is written about it, it is very personal.

Bantering with Tommy Davidson

Today while shopping on Ventura Blvd. near Laurel Canyon, I was sitting outside of Starbucks enjoying my pumpkin spice latte as Tommy Davidson walks out of the Starbucks. I didn't notice him sitting inside while I was inside, but he was obviously there. When I sat down outside I noticed a beautiful Siberian husky puppy tied to a pole and a lady came out and petted this puppy. A few minutes later Tommy came out and was standing right in front of me and finished his drink and reached down to untie the puppy. I then said to him, " How are you doing?" He turned around and said, "hello how are you." I then said, "I noticed that you are getting a bit of gray hair up there is that why I have not seen you on tv lately" He said, "I'm on tv, where have you been." I then asked him what channel was he on and he told me Showtime, then I told him that I didn't have Showtime. Then he said, " don't be giving me a hard time because of your cable deficiencies". We both laughed and I told him I guess I am going to have to get Showtime, and laughed. We then said take care to each other, and he got his puppy and went across the street, jumped into this beautiful convertible Jaquar, smiled and drove off. That was really cool to me, he was nice.

About three minutes later Eric Benet walked up to the crosswalk, and then looked around and behind him, which is where I was sitting, to see who was looking at him, and I made sure that I was not looking in his direction. I am not very fond of this guy. Every since he violated his marriage vows with Halle Berry and had the nerve to want alimony, I lost what little respect I did have for him.
Even though this was all fun, I enjoyed my shopping as well.

A New Direction

I believe that we all reach a point in our lives when we are tired of the status quo and want something a bit more meaningful. I have always been told that when you serve others that your life is more meaningful to you and to others. It is just time to stop thinking of what I want and start thinking of what I can do to make the world a little better place. This has been on my mind for quite some time, especially since I moved to Los Angeles. Unfortunately I had to fight some demons and realized that these demons had deep roots. So the process of slaying these dragons is still ongoing, but as they say, "I can see the light".

When I see how bad this economy is and how little I am really affected by it and how gravely so many others are affected, it compels me to do something. I am struggling to find my place in this. I still have to make a living and I am trying to decided how much I am willing to sacrifice to give back. I don't want to just give money, which is the easiest thing to do, and many do that and yes it is necessary. I want to give of my time and my heart. So many people just need someone there for support and encouragement to move to the next place in their lives. Then there are many that need necessities that we often take for granted. Things like housing, food, clothes, health care, school supplies and time from others. The things that makes everyday life bearable and often possible.

I find myself wanting to do something for children, because they are our future and they are the innocent victims in all of this madness. They often need guidance, encouragement, love, and often times just a hug.

A few of years ago when Ellen Johnson Sirleaf was elected President of Liberia, I felt compelled to help her be successful in her country. Liberia's history states,'

Liberia, "land of the free," was founded by free African-Americans and freed slaves from the United States in 1820. An initial group of 86 immigrants, who came to be called Americo-Liberians, established a settlement in Christopolis (now Monrovia, named after U.S. President James Monroe) on February 6, 1820.

Thousands of freed American slaves and free African-Americans arrived during the following years, leading to the formation of more settlements and culminating in a declaration of independence of the Republic of Liberia on July 26, 1847. The drive to resettle freed slaves in Africa was promoted by the American Colonization Society (ACS), an organization of white clergymen, abolitionists, and slave owners founded in 1816 by Robert Finley, a Presbyterian minister. Between 1821 and 1867 the ACS resettled some 10,000 African-Americans and several thousand Africans from interdicted slave ships; it governed the Commonwealth of Liberia until independence in 1847.

These facts makes it very personal for me for obvious reasons. President Sirleaf appeared on Oprah and talked about her being educated in the states, how she was in exile, and the significant sacrifices she made for her country. The thing that touched me the most is the amount of children that wanted to go to school and could not afford to go, and the price tag was less than 300 dollars per year, for tuition, clothes, and school supplies. The tuition at the time was only 75 dollars per year. The difference that I saw with these children in comparison with many in the states is that these children really wanted to learn and when they had the opportunity they worked really hard as did their parents. The other key ingredient, was that they had the support of their parents.
I discovered that one of my co-workers was from Liberia and I told him of my idea. He put me in touch with his brother in law, who emailed me information along with a picture of a 12 year old girl, and wanted me to send a little less than 300 dollars for this child. Well I didn't do that, because I don't know this person and have no reason to trust them. Another reason is that some of the worst scams are from the continent of Africa. Preying on those who want to help. My idea was to go to Liberia myself and see children that needed help and wanted to go to school and personally sponsor them by buying their clothes and school supplies and paying their tuition directly to the school. I have talked to a couple of my friends that were also willing to sponsor a child through me. Not just for that year but every year until they finished school. This way I know every dime is going to the child, because I was to take care of my own expenses. I would go back yearly to check on their progress and make sure that the money is for the reasons intended.
Unfortunately, I have not done this as of yet, but it is still something that I plan to do. Within the next year I truly hope to make it happen.

Yes I know that there are many people in need right here in the states and I intend to find these opportunities as well, but President Sirleaf is the first African female President and I want her to be successful and I want her efforts to be successful, and one of those efforts is to educate the children in her country.

I Escaped in a Clown Car. Did You?

There are often times when we want to escape something and/or someone in our lives and are not often careful how we escape. We imagine our method of escape has to be better than what we are escaping from. I was once in this situation. My daughter had gone off to college and I felt both physically and emotionally exhausted. This exhaustion was because for eighteen years I was a single parent. Trying to be everything to her, the provider, the mother, the father, and the friend. On top of that being, being a single mother in the workforce brings on yet another set of challenges. Even though that little person brings so much joy to your life, it is a responsibility like no other, quite a heavy responsibility.

I didn't realize that throughout these eighteen years this weight was breaking me down year after year, and in that last year I felt as though I lost all control and things truly started to fall apart. I let my daughter down as well as myself. The problem was, I had no idea the effect this all had on my emotional state, and we all know this stress can manifest itself physically.

About a year later, I met this man that I liked, more than all the others. He was the first man that I felt I could truly be myself with. He appeared to appreciate me for who I was and not wanting me to be something different or do something different.

Not having to worry about the drama of bringing a man in the house with my daughter, since she was off at college, and not having to worry about any of this affecting her life directly, I married this man and moved out to California.
I saw so many warning signs before the marriage, but it was obviously the only escape option that was presented to me at the time, so I stayed blind to the warning signs. I was in a place, an emotional low, that I was oblivious to, and therefore allowed a great deal of things to occur in my life that I would not have allowed otherwise.

So I escaped to California.

I just wished that I had escaped in a more stable, more solid, more mechanically tuned car, instead, I escaped in a clown car. So I climbed 'UP' into this clown car and went for this ride. Now we all know how low to the ground a clown car is, and to have to climb up means that I was pretty low.

While on this journey I saw Fords, Chryslers, BMW's, etc, and I wanted one of those. I realized my mode of transportation for what it was, a Clown Car, and I started to work on this clown car, patching it here and there, trying to make it into something that it was not meant to be.

Finally, I realized the the only thing to do was get rid of this car and the only thing that I could change was me . This clown car has since been junked, but I became attached to it, merely because it helped me escape an area and a life that was suffocating me. At that very moment my world opened up. I was not the least bit interested in replacing this car, I would rather walk. That is exactly what I did. Then I started to run, and now I can fly.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that we are exactly where we are suppose to be at any given time. These times were for my own growth. Preparation for something bigger and better, a breakdown so to speak, that took me to a place of humility, and for all of it I am grateful.

Patrick Swayze 1952- 2009

All photos from US Weekly.com



Patrick Swayze has given a great deal of himself to his audience. I fell in love with his with the movie "Ghost" with Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg.
I understand that he started out as a dancer and his mother owned a dance school. Later, I was able to realize that this was another talent of Patrick's actually the one that got him in the door.










"Too Wong Foo" is another of my favorites. One that my daughter introduced me to and we have watched this together over and over again.










Another one is 'Point Break". These are the three movies that I have loved the most. His talent will truly be missed. I am happy that he no longer has to suffer that pain, and that he went to sleep knowing that he did his best and that he had given his all, and that his talent was truly appreciated.

"I Can Do Bad By Myself "

I Can Do Bad All By Myself

This was absolutely a wonderful movie. Tyler let this story play out beautifully, and I love how he let the other smaller story lines play off the main story. This was definitely one of his best thus far. I believe that Tyler Perry is just getting started.
The most important thing here even more so than entertainment, he has really capture the true tone of black life and black love. He shows that we area multifaceted people, with many stories to tell. Tyler knows the root and that has been our Momma and the church. But he doesn't' just stop there because that is not everyone's story, often times it is the Daddy that is the cornerstone, or the granddaddy, or the lady across the street.

Taraji Henson was good as usual, she nailed this character. It was also refreshing to see Adam Rodriguez in this part, the cultural difference was necessary. The Church as a character was also great. This movie is definitely a must see. Thanks Tyler for telling our story.

Worked on a new Sketch

Tonight I worked on a new sketch. It was something simple, a sketch of a seal. Mostly this lesson was about shading, and all about eyes for me. I nailed the eye, shading is good, but not as good as it could be. The perspective is better but also not perfect. I am satisfied with what was done at this point, as long as there is progress I am satisfied.

Tomorrow I will be working on another simple drawing of a flamingo, again a lesson in shading, perspective, and the eye.

This is fun, but it is work.

Rep. Joe Wilson Shows True Republican Colors

photo taken from Wikipedia




South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson was the one that shouted, " You Lie" at the President during his address to Congress on Wednesday. This was a blatant display of disrespect not only for the man, but the highest office in our nation. This is also a display of the old adage, " It is easier to seek forgiveness than permission" His quick apology is further proof that it is not a true apology but just a formality.

Under normal circumstances I would believe that his emotions got the best of him, but this is a man that is a retired Army Colonel. He knows what it is to respect authority even when you don't agree, this is his Commander in Chief. This was more about the lack of respect for the man than the position.

I am from the south and I believe that this runs much deeper than the obvious disrespect. President Barack Obama is something that goes the against the grain of everything Wilson believed and was taught in his life. This angers him, and that is what took over on Wednesday.
Wilson may have even surprised himself in this situation, but his apology is not for what he feels for his President, but for his embarrassing behavior at this televised event.



Update

Inside the Mind of Joe Wilson, by Richard Benjamin

is a great article that reiterates my comments in this blog. This article is found on Salon.com

True Friendship is one of God's Greatest Gifts

As we get older hopefully we learn what a true friend really is. I use to be a person that was extremely social, but now it is different. I am more of a loner these days. I have always been a bit of a loner to some degree, probably because I am an only child. As a child I use to crave the company of large families. These days, I am not only more of a loner, but even more of an introvert. This is a change in my personality that I would have never imagined.

A few days ago I discovered that I am going to have to undergo some major surgery and after talking to my mother, who was the first person I called, I called my girlfriend in Chicago. With no hesitation she said to me that she had some time to take at work, and she would come out to California when I have surgery. I was hoping that she would, but she offered with no hesitation, and I immediately realized how blessed I am to have a friend that would travel so far, to care for me.
We have been friends for thirty years. Wow that is forever. I remember a time that I thought thirty was middle age.

I guess the day will come when my friend and I will be plucking each other's chin hairs.

William Laga-Mental Illness, Homeles, Brilliant

William Laga was diagnoses with Schizophrenia at the age of 16 and has been on the streets for over thirty years. An art gallery owner has been spending her Mondays with William because she recognize his brilliance and his illness. She buys him paint and canvasses so he can do what frees him, and that is paint.

William has been walking 16 miles to sit in art classes at Pierce College here in San Fernando Valley. He has been taking this walk for over three decades and the professors allow him to sit in their classes as well as take a weekly shower in the gymnasium at the school.

The art gallery owner, Marcell Danan has carefully packed up and shipped William's art to Paris for his first gallery showing, William is also staying in a hotel in Paris.
This is a beautifully amazing story and there are many more out there like William.

MJ in "The Great Mausoleum"

photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images




This service tonight looks very different than the memorial service that was held at the Staple Center. The memorial service was definitely for the fans, and this funeral is more personal.

Michael is being buried in Forest Lawn's 'The Great Mausoleum' which is beautiful in its own right. It is filled with marble, stain glass windows, life size sculptures, and much more beauty of the same. This is also an area where it is not open to the public, and well guarded by live guards in addition to many other security measures. This is the level of security that probably prompted Katherine Jackson to bury her son there.

This is the day that once again reminds us that even though he seems larger than life, he is merely a man with extraordinary gifts that he shared with the world. It is my belief that he was bestowed on us by His Father with a certain mission for a certain period of time. Well Michael has finished his mission an is now at Rest.

Chung Shi from Foot Solutions

Today I went into Foot Solutions in Sherman Oaks, Ca. and met the nicest sales person. His name is Dan and he was really personable and quite helpful. I went into the store to look at the MBT shoes, but liked the Chung Shi shoe better. I tried the shoes on and fell in love with the feel. The first one that I tried on was the sandal, which is quite unattractive to say the least. I then tried on the Traveler which looks more like a hiking shoe, and they looked much better on my feet, even with the skirt that I was wearing. Since I am a photographer and always out and about looking for photo opportunities, I need and want to wear a comfortable shoe. This shoe is not only comfortable, it works the body's stabilizing muscles, and at my age, every little bit helps.

I plan to go back to the store on the weekend to see how the sandal looks with a pair of jeans, and if I can live with the look, both pair will be mine. At the very least I am going to purchase the Traveler.
Yes this shoe is more expensive than most easy walkers, but for the comfort that it provides, it is worth every penny of it's $260.00 price tag. If you are anywhere near a Foot Solutions, please go in and try on a pair if you are a person that does a great deal of walking. Whether you are walking on your job, for leisure, or just need comfort, this is definitely a shoe for you.

Why the American Economy is Going to Hell...

My experience today is one of the reasons why the economy in the country is going to hell. Customer service is absolutely pathetic in most places, or should I say lack there of. All that these companies think about is the bottom line, the profit, not the consistent revenue.
Today I went to Sprint in Encino, Ca. to see if the many problems with my Samsung Instinct could be repaired. I have been there several times with some of the same problems and they would do something to the phone and then out the door I would go. The problems are never repaired. Well now many of the problems are merely worst. Today they are actually going to order me another phone, but the problem with that is that they are going to replace my phone with a refurbished phone. I know, I know, all refurbished products are not products that have been repaired, but some are, and there is no way to differentiate. I bought a new phone less than a year ago and under the manufacturers warranty I want my replacement to be new. I don't see that as being unreasonable. After going through the store management, I called customer service from the store and even talked to someone in their retention department name Patrick, and boy was he rude. The last thing he said to me was the worst.
I was expressing my feeling on my being a customer of 8 years and I have had a problem in the past with phones and the phones that had to be replaced, and they were replaced with new phones, or the upgrade.
I made the mistake of calling him sweetheart, and he told me that his name was Patrick and he would appreciate it if I called him that. At that moment I told him that the conversation was over and hung up the phone. I was foaming at that mouth.

To calm myself down I went down the street to my favorite sushi restaurant on Van Nuys and Ventura Blvd, ate their wonderful sushi and drank a glass of plum wine, and talked to the guy that made my food.
A few years ago, I would have called him a few things other than sweetheart or Patrick, but I am little bit more reserved now.

Once I arrived home I thought that I would call Sprint again because maybe Patrick was having a bad day. Well I talked to two more people that only gave me the option of getting the refurbished phone or paying for the upgraded version, well that is no option in my eyes. So I declined and told them that I would make new arrangements for my daughter and would call back by the end of the week to cancel my service. There response was, " thank you for calling Sprint".

Yes they are willing to lose a loyal customer of 8 years and thousands of dollars in revenue over a phone that cost them a couple of hundred dollars. It is their call but the buck stops here.

I don't want to deal with any company that does not value me as a customer, especially a loyal customer, when there are not many loyal anything around these days. They can forget their early cancellation fees, because I will read that contract and I will blast their A*# all over the web, but they will not get it another dime from me.


I am getting to the point where I would much rather deal with the mom and pop businesses of yesteryear. Yes, it may be more expensive, but if you can get good customer service it will add years to your life. The hassle is ridiculous. Everything is automated, and I am sick of that as well.
I am learning the value of the small businessman, and from now on I will seek out the locally owned businesses and give my money to them, because these corporate monsters only care about lining their own pockets, and I am tired of them lining it with my own money. I have many choices and I am going to utilize them.

We need to stop these companies from charging top dollar for products that costs them pennies and telling us that we are getting the best deal. This maybe my new mission, to locate small businesses and talk about them on my site and any where else I can give them a boost.

You know I have taken to buying a great deal of things on line because I really abhor going in stores and being greeted, or not, by bad attitudes, win/lose policies, and unappreciative corporate structures. Yes I am still mad.

I will continue to write more on what I come across on a daily basis and I will write the company's name, location, and even the employees name if applicable. I really don't care. They all need to be called out. I am going start a calling.

Doing My Own Thing also means Finding My Own Fashion Style

My daughter Whitney has me watching the Rachel Zoe Project , Project Runway , as well as any other fashion inspired shows that she comes across. Of course I watch them all because this is what she is really interested in. I am also interested in changing my look at this stage in my life. So these shows do give you insight into what is out there and how to put things together, so I must admit, they are helpful. Of course everyone think that New York is the place for fashion, and it is, but Los Angeles has more than its share of design houses and fashionistas. The shopping here is more than plentiful than I have seen in any city, even New York.

Well I am working on finding my personal style again. There was a time when I loved clothes and had lots of them. This all stemmed from my mother who was a very sharp dresser and knew quality and she passed this love for fashion on to me. Now things are different, because I don't really like to shop anymore, at least not like before. However, I still love beautiful, well made clothes, but I don't desire to have everything that I see.

I will share my transformation with you as it takes place, but it will be a slow process, because I have many other things on my agenda as well.

Happy "51st" Birthday MJ

I am again sharing this photo that I took at the Jackson Compound of some of the memorabilia that was on display in front of the house.

Michael will always be in the hearts of African Americans all over the world, we believe that he belong to us; but because of his works, his love of all people, and his incredible talent, he will be in the hearts of many.

Happy Birthday Michael, you will never be forgotten. Be at peace my brother.

Thank You Senator Kennedy -You Will Be Missed, But Never Forgotten

Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy started out wanting and working hard for the rights of all Americans to live the American Dream. Through all of the tragedies that he has endured in his life, he lived to see the fruits of his and his brother's hard work.


Update:


After watching the funeral of Ted Kennedy today and the burial along with all of those that attended it makes me admire this family even more. We all see them as this extremely wealthy and privileged family and they were. There is something else that I realized, and that is that all of those children were raised with great love, a strong faith, a strong sense of what is right and wrong, a strong moral compass, a strong sense of family, and a strong sense of what was expected of them. Those are things that money can't buy. Their parents did a wonderful job.

Brown Sugar Reminds Me of Friendship, one in particular

When I see this movie or hear the soundtrack, it reminds me of only one person. This friend was at one time my best friend. Unlike the movie, we didn't meet in childhood, we met as adults. He was newly separated from his wife, and I was a single mother of a two year old. There was an instant attraction and an instant friendship - later we were much more than friends. Within a few months, I realized that my friend was still very much in love with his wife. I backed up from the relationship, first because I truly loved him as a friend, and secondly because of my respect for the sacrament of marriage. If he wanted to save his marriage and reclaim his family, I also wanted that for him. I loved him enough to let him go and be happy.
We remained friends, but when he and his wife divorced our relationship eventually resumed.

Our friendship was really special. We laughed a lot. Mostly at each other and ourselves. Everyone felt that we were destined to be together, but things did not work out that way. Through the on and off love relationship as well as both of us getting married and then divorced, our friendship remained strong. We could talk about anything, from the details of intimacy, to politics, to the details of our childhood along with our dreams and fears. At that time there seemed to be a great deal of mutual respect and no judgment.

I know you are wondering as many have already; what happened, why didn't this have a happy ending. I was young and and some ways immature and my friend needed a woman that wasless independent. There was a happy ending, just not the one everyone expected.

An older woman once told me that it is a smart woman that knows how to be independent and dependent at the same time. Understanding that a man's nature is to provide for and protect what he deems to be in his care.

Well our friendship is starting to change at a time when I now understand what it means to be independent and dependent at the same time. My friend now seems to need a woman that is even more dependent than before; more dependent on him and less dependent on her self. I am not that woman.

I have become more dependent on myself than ever before. Not that I don't need anyone else, but I have learned to trust my feelings and my thoughts more than I have in the past.
We have grown in opposite directions. I guess this is what it means to grow apart.

The Rachel Zoe Project and My Daughter

I just watched the first episode of the new season of The Rachel Zoe Project tonight and it is quite interesting. My daughter is in love with Rahel Zoe and also wants to be a stylist. She is not necessarily interested in being a stylist to the stars, even though it is quite lucrative. Her interests mostly lie within styling for photographers, sitcoms (TV), and/or costumes for the stage. She is not quite sure which direction she will take.
The amazing thing is that I don't watch reality TV, actually I don't watch much TV at all.
Now I am watching Rachel Zoe and Project Runway, all at the direction of my daughter. Whitney and I have a great relationship, and she is my baby and I want to and will support her in anything positive that she is interested in doing in her life. So I have been watching these shows and reading everything that interest her, so I will know how to support her.

I realize that the world of fashion is extremely chaotic, and it makes me anxious just watching it.

My daughter has always wanted to work behind the scenes. Years ago she thought of being a videographer and wanted to do music videos. A little while back she decided that she wanted to be in the fashion industry, again behind the scenes. This time she wants to dress those in the videos. I am really proud of her growth, because I can really see her doing this and loving it.

Kudos to you Whitney.

This is What You call Living Your life

This is the way I would love to be when I grow up. I love her attitude and mostly why she is not afraid to live life the way she wants to.

This is the most inspirational thing that I have come across in a long time, and I love it.

Let The Jackson Family Heal

Are you not tired of all of the media about Michael Jackson's death. I wish they would all just let it go and let that family heal. I watched the interview on Larry King with Jermaine Jackson and it really reminded me how the media sensationalizes everything. There is so much that the family does not know and also hear for the first time in the media. They are a family just like yours and mine that has suffered a great loss and just want time to come together as a family and handle their business.
I continue to keep them in my prayers, but I know that the media is not that gracious.

Walter Cronkite "Uncle Walt"

Walter Cronkite was the voice that is etched in my head from the time that I was a little girl. The news was something that my family and many African Americans families tuned into about twice a day. This was our way of being aware of what was going on in our country. It was also the time of the civil rights movement with two of the most prominent and well loved figures of our history, Martin Luther King, Jr. and President John F. Kennedy. It was normal for African American families to gather in front of the television after dinner as a family to watch Walter Cronkite. He was trusted by our community to report fairly and truthfully what was happening during this time; the 60's. A time when African Americans were fighting so hard for racial equality in a country that brought us here, but wanted to keep up 2nd class citizens and less than human, segregated from those that thought of themselves as more human. Even at two years old I watched the news, and was told by my family that I was watching the day that President Kennedy was assassinated and called to them in the kitchen telling them that "President Kennedy was shot" and they came running. My mother says that I was talking before I was walking, and I have yet to slow down.

This was a time when families were still families, and they had dinner together and watched the news together, we all watched " Uncle Walt" because our parents and grandparents watched and trusted his reporting.


In 1940 Cronkite married Mary Maxwell, who was his wife for 65 years until her passing in 2005.

Walter Cronkite defined what it meant to be an anchorman.
The first radio news broadcast was in 1938 and the first television news broadcast was in 1948, but it was not until 1963 when the three largest networks, NBC, CBS and ABC extended their news coverage from 15 minutes to 30 minutes.

On March 6th, 1981 Walter Cronkite delivered his last news broadcast for CBS, and was replaced by Dan Rather.

Walter Cronkite will always be remember and we greatly appreciated his work.
photos taken from LA Times

Valley Club, Absolutely Unbelievable

There is an ongoing debate on whether the day campers were turned away from The Valley Club because they were black and hispanic. These sentiments were verbalized by various adults surrounding the pool as they retrieve their own children from the now tainted environment. The debate should be what to do about this situation not whether it happened or not. Some of these kids were in tears, from shear disbelief and from the fact that there were adults not accepting them because of the color of their skin.

We so often don't want to believe that these things are still happening in such a developed world, but hatred is very much alive, and racism is merely a form of this hatred. We see this in the media all of the time, just look at the frenzy surrounding Michael Jackson, O.J. Simpson, and many other people of color.
This is why it is so important for us as African- Americans to build strong families and a strong communities to safeguard our young children and give them the strength and foundation necessary to help them cope with what they may have to endure in their lives. We need to own more of what we use, and this is what I truly admire about the Tyler Perry's and Ervin 'Magic' Johnsons of our time.
Our children experienced this hatred in the 50's and 60's but this fifty years later and our children are still feeling the pain of discrimination. If law suits are necessary then so be it, but use the award to build a beautiful community center where these children have a beautiful pool where the various day camps can go and not feel the humiliation, but a senses of pride.

Still Controversial after Death

It amazes me how Michael Jackson is still such a controversial figure. Why is it necessary to know who are the biological parents of his adopted children, when in many cases we have gone to great lengths to conceal this exact information.

Whether he chose not to use his sperm because of fear of passing on his genetic misfortune to his children or he wanted to create his own children is nothing different than what many others do. Science is even to the point where you are able to chose the gender of your child if you chose. Why does it matter? He is legally thier father and that is all that matters. He is the only parent that they know and they certain appear to be happy well adjusted and very bright children.

Why is it important if he bleached his skin because he wanted to be lighter or he had undergone some medical procedure for vitiligo. He had the money and the connections to do what ever it is that he chose to do. It is no different than many others bleaching their skin, changing their nose, breast implant, calf implants, etc.

Who is to say that his life was strange? By whose standards? Why are we always imposing our standards on others? It is just sickening how this is all playing out.


Bill O'Reilly and Dr. Marc Lamont Hill, Ph.D. debates the racial issues in reference to Michael Jackson. As usual O'Reilly doesn't let a person disagree with him on his show even though he calls them on to debate an issue.
It appears when it comes to people of color there are always racial issues, and as Dr. Hill says, it is not always racism, but always racial.

I will leave you a post by a blogger for The Root, by Jimi Izrael, entitled, Now He's Home.
This post is beautifully written and were my exact sentiments of familiarity of MJ's memorial service. Even though I was not there and merely watching it on television as were millions of others, the tone and the program was so much like many I had been to, just on a grander scale.