I Escaped in a Clown Car. Did You?

There are often times when we want to escape something and/or someone in our lives and are not often careful how we escape. We imagine our method of escape has to be better than what we are escaping from. I was once in this situation. My daughter had gone off to college and I felt both physically and emotionally exhausted. This exhaustion was because for eighteen years I was a single parent. Trying to be everything to her, the provider, the mother, the father, and the friend. On top of that being, being a single mother in the workforce brings on yet another set of challenges. Even though that little person brings so much joy to your life, it is a responsibility like no other, quite a heavy responsibility.

I didn't realize that throughout these eighteen years this weight was breaking me down year after year, and in that last year I felt as though I lost all control and things truly started to fall apart. I let my daughter down as well as myself. The problem was, I had no idea the effect this all had on my emotional state, and we all know this stress can manifest itself physically.

About a year later, I met this man that I liked, more than all the others. He was the first man that I felt I could truly be myself with. He appeared to appreciate me for who I was and not wanting me to be something different or do something different.

Not having to worry about the drama of bringing a man in the house with my daughter, since she was off at college, and not having to worry about any of this affecting her life directly, I married this man and moved out to California.
I saw so many warning signs before the marriage, but it was obviously the only escape option that was presented to me at the time, so I stayed blind to the warning signs. I was in a place, an emotional low, that I was oblivious to, and therefore allowed a great deal of things to occur in my life that I would not have allowed otherwise.

So I escaped to California.

I just wished that I had escaped in a more stable, more solid, more mechanically tuned car, instead, I escaped in a clown car. So I climbed 'UP' into this clown car and went for this ride. Now we all know how low to the ground a clown car is, and to have to climb up means that I was pretty low.

While on this journey I saw Fords, Chryslers, BMW's, etc, and I wanted one of those. I realized my mode of transportation for what it was, a Clown Car, and I started to work on this clown car, patching it here and there, trying to make it into something that it was not meant to be.

Finally, I realized the the only thing to do was get rid of this car and the only thing that I could change was me . This clown car has since been junked, but I became attached to it, merely because it helped me escape an area and a life that was suffocating me. At that very moment my world opened up. I was not the least bit interested in replacing this car, I would rather walk. That is exactly what I did. Then I started to run, and now I can fly.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that we are exactly where we are suppose to be at any given time. These times were for my own growth. Preparation for something bigger and better, a breakdown so to speak, that took me to a place of humility, and for all of it I am grateful.

Patrick Swayze 1952- 2009

All photos from US Weekly.com



Patrick Swayze has given a great deal of himself to his audience. I fell in love with his with the movie "Ghost" with Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg.
I understand that he started out as a dancer and his mother owned a dance school. Later, I was able to realize that this was another talent of Patrick's actually the one that got him in the door.










"Too Wong Foo" is another of my favorites. One that my daughter introduced me to and we have watched this together over and over again.










Another one is 'Point Break". These are the three movies that I have loved the most. His talent will truly be missed. I am happy that he no longer has to suffer that pain, and that he went to sleep knowing that he did his best and that he had given his all, and that his talent was truly appreciated.

"I Can Do Bad By Myself "

I Can Do Bad All By Myself

This was absolutely a wonderful movie. Tyler let this story play out beautifully, and I love how he let the other smaller story lines play off the main story. This was definitely one of his best thus far. I believe that Tyler Perry is just getting started.
The most important thing here even more so than entertainment, he has really capture the true tone of black life and black love. He shows that we area multifaceted people, with many stories to tell. Tyler knows the root and that has been our Momma and the church. But he doesn't' just stop there because that is not everyone's story, often times it is the Daddy that is the cornerstone, or the granddaddy, or the lady across the street.

Taraji Henson was good as usual, she nailed this character. It was also refreshing to see Adam Rodriguez in this part, the cultural difference was necessary. The Church as a character was also great. This movie is definitely a must see. Thanks Tyler for telling our story.

Worked on a new Sketch

Tonight I worked on a new sketch. It was something simple, a sketch of a seal. Mostly this lesson was about shading, and all about eyes for me. I nailed the eye, shading is good, but not as good as it could be. The perspective is better but also not perfect. I am satisfied with what was done at this point, as long as there is progress I am satisfied.

Tomorrow I will be working on another simple drawing of a flamingo, again a lesson in shading, perspective, and the eye.

This is fun, but it is work.

Rep. Joe Wilson Shows True Republican Colors

photo taken from Wikipedia




South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson was the one that shouted, " You Lie" at the President during his address to Congress on Wednesday. This was a blatant display of disrespect not only for the man, but the highest office in our nation. This is also a display of the old adage, " It is easier to seek forgiveness than permission" His quick apology is further proof that it is not a true apology but just a formality.

Under normal circumstances I would believe that his emotions got the best of him, but this is a man that is a retired Army Colonel. He knows what it is to respect authority even when you don't agree, this is his Commander in Chief. This was more about the lack of respect for the man than the position.

I am from the south and I believe that this runs much deeper than the obvious disrespect. President Barack Obama is something that goes the against the grain of everything Wilson believed and was taught in his life. This angers him, and that is what took over on Wednesday.
Wilson may have even surprised himself in this situation, but his apology is not for what he feels for his President, but for his embarrassing behavior at this televised event.



Update

Inside the Mind of Joe Wilson, by Richard Benjamin

is a great article that reiterates my comments in this blog. This article is found on Salon.com

True Friendship is one of God's Greatest Gifts

As we get older hopefully we learn what a true friend really is. I use to be a person that was extremely social, but now it is different. I am more of a loner these days. I have always been a bit of a loner to some degree, probably because I am an only child. As a child I use to crave the company of large families. These days, I am not only more of a loner, but even more of an introvert. This is a change in my personality that I would have never imagined.

A few days ago I discovered that I am going to have to undergo some major surgery and after talking to my mother, who was the first person I called, I called my girlfriend in Chicago. With no hesitation she said to me that she had some time to take at work, and she would come out to California when I have surgery. I was hoping that she would, but she offered with no hesitation, and I immediately realized how blessed I am to have a friend that would travel so far, to care for me.
We have been friends for thirty years. Wow that is forever. I remember a time that I thought thirty was middle age.

I guess the day will come when my friend and I will be plucking each other's chin hairs.

William Laga-Mental Illness, Homeles, Brilliant

William Laga was diagnoses with Schizophrenia at the age of 16 and has been on the streets for over thirty years. An art gallery owner has been spending her Mondays with William because she recognize his brilliance and his illness. She buys him paint and canvasses so he can do what frees him, and that is paint.

William has been walking 16 miles to sit in art classes at Pierce College here in San Fernando Valley. He has been taking this walk for over three decades and the professors allow him to sit in their classes as well as take a weekly shower in the gymnasium at the school.

The art gallery owner, Marcell Danan has carefully packed up and shipped William's art to Paris for his first gallery showing, William is also staying in a hotel in Paris.
This is a beautifully amazing story and there are many more out there like William.