CNN Heros

On Thanksgiving night I watched CNN Heroes and it was something inspiring. It is amazing the compassion and the love that is in the heart and souls of so many everyday people. So we are not all consumed by the economy and how we are going to make it through these tough times, there are also those who are consumed with what they can do to help others through these tough times. We all know that regardless of what we are going through in this life, there are just so many more people that are suffering even more than you are. I have always heard that helping others is food for the soul.

About four years ago, I had a bad feeling, it was more of a profound feeling that things in my life were going to spiral downhill and during that time I was going to be stripped of something that was going to prepare me for something else. Well my life did spiral out of control and there was nothing that I could do about it. Emotionally it was harder than anything that I have ever experienced. Somehow through it all, I would always see a bright light, something positive, a person reaching out to me, a person that was a total stranger would give me a hug, and sometimes only a smile. Some how it was always there, and I guess that kept me going. I believe that God has a special job for me and I also feel that I am on the right path to be of service to others. My needs and wants have been put on the back burner, actually what I want and believe I need has become less and less. It seems like what I desire more of these days is to give, to give of myself, to give of my time, and to give of my heart. It was just recently that I had another profound feeling that this burden that I have had for the past four years was about to be lifted, and I would blossom into something that has always been within. I guess I had to be stripped of the fear, the fear of giving without receiving or feeling the need of acceptance by others, especially family and close friends. Through all of this humility resonates and that is a wonderful feeling. I have been compelled to do some charitable work, but I am a little selective in what I want to do. First of all it has to be something where I can see the direct benefit to others, nothing that goes through too many hands. I wanted it to be something that helps women and children, especially young women. I wanted it to be something that I am committed to, not just on holidays or special occasions, but something that was on going, and has a direct effect on people's lives.

Well I have not found that one thing yet, but honestly I have not been looking really hard. I have been trying to get myself in place both physically and emotionally, and now I feel like the cloud of smoke is lifting and it is time for me to emerge.
I have been so blessed. God has always put kind and generous people in my path. As I drive the bus everyday, there is always someone buying me breakfast, bringing me fruit, coffee, books, and many other things, but most of all they are constantly thanking me for what they perceive as acts of kindness. One girl actually said to me, " Thank you for being so kind to your passengers" That is my reward, the appreciation and the return kindness of others. I often thank God for His putting certain people in my path, and ask him if there is anything that I am doing to attract so many warm and loving people into my life, I want to keep on doing that and actually I want to do more of it. That has always been my prayer, and one day I was told on my bus, that I attract certain kinds of people because of the kind of person that I am. But it is the kind of person that I am becoming through the love and guidance of the Great Master. Don't worry I am not taking myself too seriously, but I can see the growth, that is why I think that I am on the right path to be of service to others. I am not going to lie and say I don't absolutely love how people respond to me, and the feeling I get when I am kind and considerate to others, and their appreciation of that kindness. I find it so much easier than not being kind, now that takes so much more energy.
I hope to find something that becomes a passion for me, something that impacts others lives, something that I can only give in a way that I can only give it. I feel that I am getting closer to that point in my life, and I am grateful.

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