Saturday, May 15, 2010
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By:
Tonya Keitt Kalule
Straddling That Threshold
Why does it take sickness or near death experiences for us to wake up and see what is really important in this life. There are many people that do not wake up even then. I know of a woman that had cancer and even had to have a bone marrow transplant and she didn't change at all. She was still her insecure, jealous, and bitter self. How did she find the time and energy to hold on to that. I know another man that had a bout with prostate cancer and when he finished almost a year of treatment, he went back to his deceptive and greedy ways. Then there are those like myself that just get tired of the status quo and want something that is more meaningful in their lives. I say it is maturity, but others may think it is crazy. My problem is I don't know exactly how to let go of the old life and embrace the new one. So I am straddling the threshold, which is quite miserable. This is the time when I realize I just have to let go and let God. Anyone that has been here knows just how hard that is.
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1 comments:
Oh yes, I've been exactly where you are...and still am to a degree. I, too, made tremendous changes in my life because I was simply tired of being the way I was. Interestingly enough, a surgically repaired broken ankle started a process that led to my emotionally preparing for a divorce that was to come three years later. Because I was pretty much confined to my bedroom, all the issues that I'd "successfully" avoided to that point came forward and I chose to deal with them. Just today, though, I was wondering how to let go of the self-consciousness that I continue to hold on to. Maybe now that I've identified it as something I want to be free of, I'll finally let it go, huh?
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